A6 - The Terrace Standard, Wednesday, February 5, 1997

can die for

A body you

Last week's feature story on bulimia was jumbled up. Here it is in proper form.

By CRIS LEYKAUF “T STILL GET mad when 1 see really skinny girls.”’

For Ruth, (not her real name) every slim girl or woman looks beautiful. They’re the ideal she’s tried to reach for 13 years.

‘Society says you have to be so friggin’ perfect.’’ And perfection was a long ways off for Ruth.

When she was 11 years old she was put into foster care. Her foster father sexually abused her, and she developed clinical depression, though she didn’t know il al the time,

When she was 15 years old she decided that if she lost weighi, she might be more accepted by her peers. Ruth chose a drastic approach to weight loss — eating and then throwing up. Called bulimia, the eating and purging cycle is self destructive and dangerous.

Unlike most bulimics, Ruth knew exactly what she was doing, “I wanted to (lose weight) faster. And I could eal all | wanted,”'

She also tried starving herself — called anorexia in its most harmful form — but says she didn’t have the willpower to continue, She opted ta vomit instead.

‘| threw up every single thing I ate or drank. I lost 15 pounds in two weeks —~ but I was also starving myself.”’

Ruth also knew she could possibly. die from what she was doing to her body, but says she didn’t care. —

Ruth made it down to 130 pounds by the time she was 20 years old. She was underweight for her body height and frame, but thought she looked ‘‘damn good.”

“Then I had this jerk come and tell me I still needed to lose 20 pounds." For a girl with very fragile self-esteem, those words were incredibly crucl. ‘'I started bingeing.’’

She stole food and ate it where nobody could see it, She would buy the sinall cylinders of Pringles, a perfect size to hide ina purse.

It’s amazing all the lengths you go through to hide what you're doing. When I'd buy food, I would almost

“T threw up every single thing I ate or drank, I lost 15 pounds in two weeks — but I was also starving myself.”’

think (the cashier) wauld know why I was buying it.”’

By this time Ruth was throwing up threc limes a day. And that was having an effect on her body,

When she went to the dentist when she was 22, he dis- covered three cavities on the backside of her teeth. The hydrochloric acid from her stomach, which came up when she threw up, was stripping the enamel off her teeth.

The dentist recognized the likely cause of the problem, and referred her to an eating disorder clinic. At this point Ruth was living in Prince George, and she decided that she'd take her dentist’s advice, since she didn’t want to wreck her teeth.

Other bealth problems were starting lo compound as well, Ruth was getting very bad heartburn and cramps, and her periods were very erratic and al times non-existent.

But staff at the eating disorder clinic told her she didn’t have bulimia. The problem was that Ruth didn’t fit the conventional model. She was overweight, and didn’t over- exercise,

“But if you have bulimia you won't necessarily be skinny,’’ said Ruth, quoting information she’s learned from a nutritionis! in Terrace.

A bulimic’s metabolism can be dramatically altered be- cause of the widely varying amount of food that’s in- gested. Other complications, such as thyroid problems, which Ruth has, can also cause a bulimic to be overweight.

Ruth finally started to make positive changes in her life when she moved back to Terrace. For the first time in her life, at the age of 27, she made a friend.

She also got counselling and support from health care professionals, Now she proudly reports she hasn't thrown up since November. And she made it through the difficult Christmas period.

“T can say no — I’m nol going to do it. It takes all my willpower not lo throw, up.”

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BULIMICS BELIEVE they can eat whalever they want, since they can throw it up jater on.

Ruth has adopted coping tactics to siop the bingeing and purging cycles. At night, when she fecls like hitting the snacks, she plays computer games, which keep her hands busy, or reads books, During the day she’ll go for walks. And she’s trying to finish her high school diploma, taking a few courses.

Images of beautiful women on TV and in magazines still bother her, but not quite as much. And now there’s a few positive role models out there, she says, pointing out the not-so-svelte Kathy Bates, Oprah Winfrey, Roseanne, and Rosie O'Donnell. ‘‘They’re not society’s standard, but they are accepted anyways.”

But Ruth’s biggest batile is learning self-acceptance. “OL course, I bate myself,’ she says, matter-of-factly. And even if she manages to keep the food down, she doesn’t think the bingeing will end until that changes.

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