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THE OMINECA HERALD, FRIDAY, JANUARY 23, 1926

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Pat O’Hooley

BY L. H. HOLDEN |

(Copyrighted, 1926, by I. H. Holden, Cereal, Alta.).

Flimflammed

“Some folks won’t belave that th’ motion of th’ hands is quicker than th’ movemint of th’ eve; an’ they’re aisy marks fer ivery fakir that comes along,’”’ said Pat O’- Hooley. ‘‘I used t’ be in that class meself. I was that curious! An’ I had t’ be shown over an’ over agin. Aven thin I wouldn’t belave I was th’ sucker I was until [had a diminstration, Wan day I gits int’ a heated argumint wid a shell-game artist, an’ he hits me twice on th’ nose, th’ last blow landin’ a split sicond before I sees th’ first wan eomin’. I was not satisfied, but ye bet yer loife I was convinced! That sittled ut fer me. An’ miver but wance since have I had me doubts.

“T was down t’ th’ city—Jlet me see—oh, "twas siveral years ago; an’ in th’ avenin’ I goes t’ th’ t’ater. They don’t have any rale t’aters loike they used t’ have whin | was abye. In those days they specialized on broken hearts, neglected woives an’ childers, an’ the death-bed scenes of Little Eva. Iverybody had t’ earry two handkerchiefs; an’ they had a bunch of flunkies wid mops t’

. dry th’ tears from th’ aisles.

“Ut’s all different now. They call their actin’ ‘vandiville’—

fwhativer that manes—an ut’s anythin’ from a bunch of swell gals in toights t’ trained ‘pigs, slack-wire dancers, piquant per- sonalities, and sleight-of-hand performers. Ut was wan of th’ latter koind that handed me moine

‘He was down on th’ bills as a gint from Indy or Rooshy—I dis- remimber which—an’ they called him 'Flanco, the Flim-Flammer’. He was al) that! Whin he comes onto th’ stage he’s dressed up as toney as a diamond thafe at a society weddin’, An’ he staris roight in t? bamboozle th’ bunch

\of us,

“First, he has a milkin’ stool on wan soide of th’ stage; an’ there’s a glass box, hung from th’ roof by chains, on th’ ither. He fills th’ box almost full of

| water, an’ pulls the curtain in

front of ut. Thin he takes his woife— that’s fwhat he calls her, but I haye me doubts, th’ wav he used her--an’ sits her on th’ milkin’ stool, twenty fut from th’ glass box. Nixt he puts a big paper cone over th’ lady, pulis out a match, sets fire t’ th’ cone, an’ while th’ poor gal is burnin’ i’ cinders he shoots a pistol, dashes across th’ stage in a twinklin’ swipes away th’ curtain

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~The

_ They Feel

Welcome ‘Sign

“NOBODY asked you, sir,” said the coy maiden. And in matters of buying, as well as in affairs of the heart, most people like to be ‘‘asked”. Often, in- deed they insist on a proper invitation.

He is a wise merchant who keeps the welcome sign constantly before the community in the form of ADVER- TISEMENTS in the home paper. everybody sees it—for ADVERTISING is “the light of directed attention”.

Speak up. Light up. Hundreds of good customers are listening for your message and watching for your wel-. come sign in ‘“The Omineca Herald” and “‘The Terrace News”.

People Shop Where _

There

Welcome ©

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—whin, lo! I’m a‘ son-of-a-gun if th’ poor lady isn’t ‘inside :th’ glass box, drownin’ instead “of burnin’!

“Well, that wasn’t all he did. He. ates butcher knoives an’ crockery, foinds a hundred flags insoide a peanut shell, an’ makes handkerchiefs come an’ go loike butterflies ! Money is ivery- where: he lifts ut from th’ kids’ shirts an’ the wimmen’s hats; an’ he aven foinds a pet pig in- soide a lady’s muff! Down th’ aisle he comes, pickin’ th’ peopie’s pockets, an’ showin’ fwhat he’s foindin’, until he gits t’ me.

** ‘Hello, there, Pat!’ sez he, ‘T’ll bet ye’re an Oirishman.,’

“ "Ye win!” sez I.

‘Do ye iver take a drink?’ sez he.

'‘T niver refused ut but wance,’ sez I. ‘an’ that toime [ wasn’t asked. thing in yer trick bag?’

‘Nothin’ doin’!’ sez he. “But

This is Pat

there’s some good stuff in yer coat pocket,’

* *Divil a sup have I in me coat pocket,’ sezJ. ‘I wish 1 had,’

‘*‘No? Let me look wance,’ sez he.

‘An’, by gorrie, if Mr. Flan- co didn’t put his hand int’ me insoide coat pocket an’ pull out as purty a flask of Oirish whiskey as me eyes iver looked upan!

"He takes a sniff, an’ winks knowin'ly. ‘This is a case, Pat,’ sez he, where the hand decaveth th’ eye!’

"Ut is.’ sez J, ‘fer I’m moigh- ty sure ut wasn’t where ye got ut!’

‘** ‘Roight ye arel’ sez he, smoilin’, ‘Now stick tout! An’ he carries th’ bottle t’ th’ stage in plain view of iverywan, makes a few mysterious passes over ut, an’ ut disappears loike a flea, ‘Oh, well,’ sez.I t? meself, ut’s only wan of yer tricks, Mr. Flanco! Yer trvin’ t’ flim-flam Pat O’Hooley wid yer nonsinse,, I’m too wise fer all that. There wasn’t a thing in me pocket, so how could ye take ut out? Ye couldn't!’

‘‘Whin I was goin’ home after th’ show I was nither continted nor satisfied, an’ I was still a little bit unaisv, Whin I arrives at th’ -hotel, here’s Larry Con nors, a frind of moine from Win- nipeg,-an’ he’s bin all over the city lookin’ ferme. ** ‘Pat,’ sez-he, pullin’ me int’ a corner, ‘have'ye me coat?’

".“* "Yer enat?’ sez I. ‘Fwhat do yermane?? «0 2 fo

—‘Up-in th’ room,’ sezhe, ‘IE:

Have ye any-.

See-I have yours, an’ sure eriough, ye have moine! By gor- rie, that’s lucky! Do ye know, Pat, there’s a bottle of th’ foinest liquor. ye iver tasted in that in- soide pocket?’

‘** "No I don’t,’ sez I, ‘an’ there isn’t, an’ there never was! I’m gittin’ a little bit touchy about that bottle! Ye was t’ th’ show an’ saw Flanco take tt ‘from me, His hand decaved yer eye, an’ ye’re foolin’ yerself! I. don’t want t’ hear any more about that bottle,’ sez I, walkin’ away. An’ ‘twas tin days before I knows that Flaneo had raley flim-fiam- med me fer fair an’ stolen th’ whiskey.”’

New Church is Now Open at Kitsegucla Vil.

One of?the happiest, as well as one of the most inspiring events in the history ofthe upper Skeena river among the hatives, took place on Sunday, January 18th, when the new Methodist church at Kitzegucla was officially open- ed by Rev. Arthur Barner, super-

intendent of Methodist Indian Missions, assisted by Rev. J. H. Young of Terrace, Lhe day was pleasant and as invitations were sent out to all the villages, it igs estimated that at each of the ser- vices there were over 400 people. Visitors with band and banners, were present from Kispiox, Glen Vowell, Hazelton, Kitwanga, Kit- wancool, Meanskinisht, Kitselas and Port Simpson, and when all together made an imposing pro- cession not easily forgotten. The morning service was wholly tak- en up with the dedication, which made a deep impression on those present. The afternoon meeting was in charge of the Epworth League of Kitseguela, assisted by church societies from other yil- lages. This native service was marked by a wonderful spirit of earnestness, as evidenced by the topics voiced by the speakers. Special mention must be made of the splendid singing rendered by ‘the native choirs. The evening service was best of ali—the audi- torium being fiiled to capacity, The program,ewas well thought out and everything went very harmoniously.

The new church is 35 by 40 ft. finished on the outside with ced- ar bevel siding, and on the inside with oiled cedar V-joint. A cen- tral tower rises from the pround to a height of 60 ft., while on either side are two smaller tow- ers. The entire work, except the chimney, doors and windows,

was done by the natives. The

cost of the building to date is in

the neighborhood of $1700. The mission work at Kitsegucla is in

& prosperous condition and high

hopes are held for its future.

The old river boat Skeena, so well known in the north, was stranded in the Fraser river near the‘ Chilliwack. wharf. . She was gotten off with little damage.

- Are you a subscriber yet?

changed coats wid ye by mistake. |.

*SINOPSIS OF LAND ACT AMENDMENTS

* PRE-EMPTIONS

Vacant, unreserved,. surveyed rown lands may be pre-empted by British subjects over 18 yeara of age, and by aliens om declaring intention to become British subjects, .condi- tional upon residence, occupation, and improvement for agricultural purposes.

Fu:l information concerning regu- tations regarding pre-emptiona is given in Bulletin No. 1, Land Series, “How to Pre-empt Land,” copies of which can be obtained free of charge by addressing the. Department of Lands, Victoria, B.C.,‘or to any Gov- - ernment Agent.

Records will be granted covering only land suitable for agricultural purposes, and which is not timber- land, Le, carrying over 5,000 board feet per acre west of the Coast Ranges end 8,000 feet per acre east of that Range.

Applications for pre-emptiona are to be addressed to the Land Com- missioner of the Land Recording Di- vision, in which the land applied for is situated, and are made on printed forms, copies of which can be ob- tained from the Land Commissioner.

Pre-emptions must be occupied for five years ahd improvements made to value of $10 per acre, including clearing and cultivating at least five acres, before a Crown Grant can be received.

For more detailed information see the Bulletin “How to Pre-empt

Land.” PURCHASE

Applications are received for pur- chase of vacant and umreserved Crown lands, not belng timberland. for agricultural purposes; m:nimum price of first-class (arable) land ia $5 per acre, and second-class (grazing) and $2.50 per acre. Further infar- mation regarding purchase or lease of Crown lands is given in Bulletlo No. 10, Land Series, “Purchase and Lease of Crown Lands.”

Mill, factory, or industrial sitea on Umber land, not exceeding 40 acres, may he purchased or leased, the con- ditions including payment oft stumpage. ‘

HOMESITE LEASES

Unsurveyed areas, not exceeding 20 acres, may be leased as homesites, conditional upon a dwelling being arected in the first year, title being ebtainable after residence and im- provement conditions are fulfilled and land has been surveyed.

LEASES

For grazing and industrial pur- poses areas not exceeding 640 acres may be leased by one person or 4 company.

GRAZING

Under the Grazing Act the Prov- ince ig divided into grazing districts and the range administered under 1 Grazing Commissioner. Annual gTezing permits are Issued based on numbers renged, priority being given to established owners. Stock-owners may form associations for range management. Free, or partially free, permits are available for settlers. camper's and travellers, up to fen end, .

- December 1 to 6 this year,

Agricultural products harvéstea In British Columbia during 1927 were nearly $4,000,000 in excess of the 1922 total, according to the an- nual report of the provincial depar- ment of agriculture, Toto) prod. tion for 1928 was $69,159,743.

The ninth winter carnival at Banff, Alta., will be held from Feb- ruary 7 to 14, 1925. The curling bonspie] in connection with the car- nival will run concurrently fra~ February 9 to 14. Revelstoke has fixed its carniva] dates for February 8, 4 and 5, 1925.

Tourists to the number of 100.090 are estimated to have entered the Province’ of Nova Srotia during the past season. These people have left. approximately $7,500,000 in the province, an increase of 25 per cent, over the. previous year, ber of motor targeentering the prov- ince during the tourist season exe ceeded 11,000, _

Canada Book Week was held from ! Ad-i dresses, _tadio broadcasting and: special displays in stores through- out ‘the country drew attention to

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the objects of the week, which ara?!’ E

to promote the reading: of good: *

books generally and to: fcater Cangas!" icf

dian literature, . The week was, as usual, a distinct, succes. | _, er

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