By BOB WARD

Pee ee oT ae oY wT

Slugging Private ‘I’ replaces Sherlock Holmes and Poroit

S a long-time reader of Who-

aunits we’ve noted numbers

of significant. changes over

‘ the years in the style of detectativing.

When we first met Sherlock Holmes, Hercules Poroit, and sundry other crime detectors we were, of course, younger and had more hair to stand on end than we do today. For what it’s worth we had more teeth to get into the plot, too.

But we do recall certain pat- terns of the slippery sleuth which were the familiar and, to be sure, guaranteed methods cf tracking down the criminal types.

The “old fashioned,” if we might use the term, detective never used a gun, blackjack, or any other type of “per- suader.” He sat in his den, sucked his curved pipe, and worked out the crime scien- tifically. We might say right here that the “curved pipe” was very important. Any detective who didn’t smoke a curved ‘pipe; why we knew right away that he never would solve the crime.

Everything was done with logic. It was easy to tell the victim had been stabbed with an ancient family heirloom. “Look,” the detective would say, “there are seven hundred gashes in the body and besides, there’s the handle of the ancient family heirloom pro- truding from between the vic- tim’s shoulder blades.” And, of course, there it was.

Sherlock Holmes, particular- ly was a master at deducting. He was so good at it, in fact, that he could make a modern payroll machine look quite amateurish. And one has to admit that this is quite a de-

~rducting feat.

Of course, Hercules Poroit was no slouch either. Why, the only thing Hercules feared was a dentist.

We imagine that between Holmes and Poroit they solved more cases in their day than E. P. Taylor has on stock right at this minute. And most citi- zens will agree that’s a fair number of cases.

And all of these .cases were solved without resort to fire arms, physical violence,

e : * anything else of that kind. It Hn was all done bydeduction.

A favorite device was to as- ‘ semble all of the characters in ae aroom. This always happened at the end of the book. Then the Great Detective would we ba pace “slowly up and down” ‘ : and “re-trace all of the events.” : We would thrill and squirm

’ in our chair as the case un- folded and logic would catch up With the killer.

More often than not it would be the butler, who more often than not wasn’t really the but- ler at all; but just disguised as a butler so that he could slip a mickey of hemlock into the

Ret wind master’s evening drink. ay a ae Possibly the identity of most

A killer-types has influenced our living habits coz to this day we

‘

Or.

absolutely refuse to hire a

butler. x * x Nowadays, though, the who- dunits are vastly different. The Private “I” has replaced Sher- lock Holmes and Hercules.

Now this Private “I” is usually called Mike, Steve, Slugger, or some other hardier type name. -

And right from the first paragraph the Private sad Se shoots practically every character as fast as the author of the book figures out a name for them.

The modern Private “I” be- lieves in epuality, too. He’d rust as soon shoot a woman as a man.

Another feature of the cur- vent crop of detectors is that they have a disdain for science — and most everything else. The way we figure it out their approach is one of killing everyone who pops up in the story and the law of averages, being what it is, they’re almost bound to get the criminal. The only time this doesn’t hold is when the Private “I” is also the crook, and more often than not, this is quite hard to figure out anyway.

Private “I’s”, too, must have a tremendous capacity. for liquor. Coz they’re either shooting a slug of lead into a victim; or a slug of liquor into themselves all the way hrough the book. Dead bodies and dead bottles are the hall- mark of the modern whodunit.

Whereas the “old fashioned” Getective solved every crime in his den or study; the modern Private “I” only comes into his office when he needs a crink. His filing cabinets are

singularly devoid of letters written in invisible ink which Sherlock could read by rub- bing with a smudge of Gorgan- zola cheese. Only item kept by the modern “I” in his filing cabinet. This is a bottle of bour- bon, filed quite naturally un- der “H” like for hootch.

All of the female characters in the latter day whodunits have more curves than bosses have reasons for turning down a wage demand. And . the Private “I”, even when un- sheven, is pursued through the book by a great galaxy of curvaceous blondes, brunettes and redheads, most of whom he shoots, strangles with their own garter belts, or drops into a warm bubble bath of.quick- lime.

* x. * Maybe we’re just a square; but we still feel that Sherlock and Hercules are the greatest. -

Our love for the old-time type snooper was greatly en- hanced recently when we heard about a local Private “TI” agency which was advertising for “red-blooded he-men who wented adventure, romance, intrigue, thrills, chills, etc.”

So this fellow applied for the job. And what did they want? Strikebreakers, that’s what.

So this is what modern de- tectiving is coming to.

One thing we can say for Sherlock and Hercules, they never once hired out as strike- breakers.

@ Reprinted from Cana- dian UE News.

H '

Male cheesecake

RENEGADE HOUSEWIFE,

Vancouver, B. C.: I was shock- ed to see a picture of an al- most-nude man in our paper, used aS a come-on in a picnic advertisement. I suppose you people think that the sight of that chest or that thigh (mmmm!) will bring us women flocking to the picnic. Nick Kozak for the women, pony rides for the kids — why. not a pony line for the men ?-_

OPEN FORU

Women don’t h@ lascivious minds ™ male cheesecake them. Not much, *

As one of yOu dents writes, let our paper by SUPE picture, each & test, “Is it for P& independence an® It is obvious, SITS ture of Nick B meet this test.

(P.S. I’m only- lows, Pll be the”

~ Hal Griffin

HEN our centennial year rolls around,

how will our history be presented ?

Will it perpetuate the legend, created by “constant repetition over the years, of Governor Sir James Douglas

as the

“Father of British Colum- bia” — the man who saved the colony for Canada. Or will it give belated recog- nition of the men who really prepared the way for British Columbia’s entry into Con- federation by their clamer- ous opposition to Douglas’ autocratic rule?

* will it present Douglas as the man who stood out against the influx of miners from the California gold- fields — the “tide of demo- cracy rolling -north,”~ as Earl Grey, secretary of state for the colonies, des- cribed it at the time? Will it depict Victoria as “a min- iature of San Francisco,”

with even its first news- paper, the Victoria Gazette, owned by three Americans (ignoring the fact that this newspaper had little support Douglas) ?

This is how Willard Ire- land, provincial archivist, presents Douglas in his lectures, recognizing the threat of annexation by the U.S. that hung over the in- fant colony but seeing the miners as the instrument ‘of that threat rather than as the force that stayed it.

Or will Douglas be shown as an autocrat who never- theless was a “democrat at heart,” as James K. Nes- bitt, the Vancouver Sun’s

legislative correspondent, presented him last week.

Nesbitt was commenting on the fact that this Sunday, August 12, is the 100th an- niversary of our first legis- lature. On this day in 1856 the first elected legislative assembly of the colony of Vancouver Island met in Victoria,

As Nesbitt should know from long experience in re- porting speeches at Victoria, what politicians say fre- quently -has little resem- blance to what they do — and Douglas was an astute politician: His speech to the legislature was couched in democratic terms, but his conduct of the _ election, forced on him by the British colonial office, made a travesty of it. “The lower orders,” as Douglas contem- ptuously referred to com- pany employees and miners, were disfranchised and the men elected were his hand- picked councillors. -

Years ago, another Vic-

toria newspaperm Higgins, described '

legislature as 4 parliament. * *

Douglas was 8% a Hudson’s Bay

the company © perial policy he well. But by his responsible govel endangered the — British Columbi# province of Cana’

It is because ti andthe colonists. responsible govel™ because they 1% men as Amor Dé % voice their aspit@™ Canada today — from sea to sea —

In the coming shall hear @ ?4 about Fort Lane in the history of ince Fort Rupert first miners § first strike, is ® portant, and and Yale are the our democracy

&

August 10, 1956 — PACIFIC TRIBU