INSIDE COMMUNITY EVENTS B2

. T CHARLYNN TOEWS

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Martians are not from Mars

IRST, let’s consider the dif-

ferent kinds of Martians, There

are the nasty malevolent amoral

Martians from the fevered brain of Tim (Beetle Juice, Ed Wood) Burton in his new movie Mars Attacks! There are sil- ly bumbling child-sized Martians in the kids’ comedy Spaced Invaders, who come to attack Earth because they overhear a re- ‘broadcast of Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds. Then there are the armed and dangerous rock snakes who inhabit the red planet in Thunderbirds are Gof and attack Scott and Virgil and the rest of the Interna- tional Rescue crew. I have watched all

‘these movies repeatedly recently —- don’t

ask,

Now consider the real Martians, as far as -we know: a scattering of little light-red ‘rocks, Not that dramatic at all. Maybe someone will eventually find a fossilized amoeba on one of them, big woo. A real yawner, compared to what we imagined we might find.

The whole planet had a bad reputation. Since ancient timés, Mars was supposed to be war-like and mean and angry. Mean-- while, it’s just a number of very quiet, very - still, surprisingly small, dusty rusty rocks. We've been afraid of a pile of pink pebbles all these years! What a bunch of scaredy _ eats, we Earthlings are, what a laugh.

So if our movie Martians are not from, Mars, where are they from? Hollywood, yes, but specifically from the minds of hu-

mans who move to Hollywood so they can _

make big budget movies with spaceships in them and robots and big explosions and, Martians, And these Martians alse find a home in the minds of movie-goers who like to see some scary things presented, called aliens or Martians, then blown up. Kaboom!

These Martians, these frightening beings, often have a superior yet cruel technology, an alien appearance, a strange tongue, lhey are unintelligible, not human, Kaboom! and they blow up real good.

“Now that we know the truth about Mars, that sweet and quiet place, will we be done with Martians?’’

Of course what we are really looking at when we look at Hollywood Martians is our own selves, or aspects of ourselves, For ex- ample, if you took a really nasty human, gave her or him an extra eye or enlarged head and 400 years of sinister science, and call it a Martian, and cail it an il, that is a recipe for a Hollywood Martian. Then this aspect of ourselves, exaggerated or dis- torted and de-humanized, can be blown up, destroyed, chased from our planet Earth. Does that mean we want to destroy the evil within us?

But what about those silly Martians in that kids’ show? They are not destroyed, they are assisted in their escape [rom Earth by a plucky heroine and her young friend. She says at one point, ‘““They’re not very smart,’” which helps convince her dad, the sheriff, to come to their aid.

If blowing up evil Martians means destroying ‘that which is evil within us, I suppose helping silly Martians holds the message that we should each be kind to our own inner goofball,

‘ Now that we know the truth about Mars, that sweet and quiet place, will we be done with Martians? I don’t think so, because we’ve never been talking about beings from another planet in the first place. It is our- selves we make fun of, or fear.

] want to be among the first to apologize to the Red Planet for all the bad things we’ve been saying about it all these years that weren't even true and we here on Earth ‘are all really, really sorry. We like you a

- Jot, and we all promise to be much nicer

‘from now on. Nice rocks, nice little pink. '

rocks.

Riverboat Days evenis

wrap up

WHETHER it was waiters running with a tray full of drinks or a wild duck race on the Skeena, there were plenty of events going on during the Riverboat Days

weckend,

Slingers race

At the 13th annual slingers race waiters and waitresses had to run an obstacle course carrying a tray loaded up with three drinks and an empty wine

bottle.

Servers dodged tables, stepped through tires and climbed on a platform — all without spilling a drop — or at least that was the goal. To make it more in- teresting, time was of the essence and time faults were handed out when glasses fell or drinks were

spilled.

In the team event the Old Keg from Kitimat placed first. It was also ‘the only out-of-town restaurant to take part in the festivities. Employees just came down

for a fun afternoon.

Second went to Hanky Panky’s and third to GiGis.

Ten teams overall took part.

. In the manager’s division Paul Walker from the Back Eddy won top honours. — George’s Pub waitress Kellie Ohman, took top spot.

Mr. Mikes was the most sportsmanship.

Thornhill Pub had the distinction of placing last.

Window contest

Businesses around town also joined in the festivities, decorating their windows in an old-time

theme. ;

Ev’s Men’s Wear took the prize of a year’s mem- bership at the Chamber of Commerce. They had three windows decorated. One showed rainwater being col- lected for laundry, another window had two manne- quins in old-time dress, and the third window fea-

tured a logging display. ok . Wild duck race

On ‘August 4 the Skeena River was invaded by

'$,000 yellow ducks. .

They were part of an annual rubber duck race to taise money for local charities and projects. .

Top prize of a Caribbean cruise for two went to Erin Grey of Port Edward. J, Dunfield of Terrace won the second prize of 2-one ounce bars of gold.. And the $500 shopping spree at a local grocery store

went to the Lindwalls of Terrace.

_ The winning duck came in a time of 4:16:32 just six seconds before second place and another three before the third place winner. "About $19,000 worth of tickets were sold, and a lot " of those during the last week before race day. After, - prizes get paid out that leaves about $12-14,000 to be’ split between the Mills Memorial operating room

fund and the Terrace Rotary ball diamond.

SECTION B | CRIS LEYKAUF 6387283

FROM THE TOP: Amanjot Gill attempts a challeng- ing putt at a charity golf game at Safeway during Riverboat Days. Unfortunately her ball ended up In the water; The Skeena Valley Square Dancers enter-.- tain the crowds during family days at Heritage Park; . Ryan Roseboom clambers on the lap of Dolores Mer- - cer for a visit during Terraceview’s annual kids’ . afternoon; and a waltress from the Bavarian Inn tries not to spill a drop as she negotiates an obstacle

course in the slinger's race.