News TheReview Wednesday, March 13,1991 — A20 Decoding for agenis of chaos “ “The purpose of education is not to know forever the functions of the cell membrane or the capital of Uruguay’,” I read, from an article by Crawford Kallan. “ “It is to know how to learn fast in the face of chaos, which means built-in unpredictability’.”” I’m addressing 200 English teachers at their annual fall conference. After “decoding the myths of literature” I open the floor for questions. I’ve got time to kill before the bar reopens and normal life resumes. “Given what you’ve just said about the purpose of education,” says a teacher in a Grateful Dead T-shirt, “what about the role of the educator?” “Educators are agents of chaos,” I say cribbing from Kallan again. “By making your students less predictable, you ensure their freedom.” It sounds lofty, and I’m resting on Killan’s laurels when a soft-spoken teacher from Thunder Bay pulls the wreath out from under me. “I’ve got 45 15-year-olds who prefer smoking crack to studying post-modernism. I’ve never had to worry about any of them being predictable.” So much for lofty theories. Luckily the next questioner asks something I can answer from experience. “Is it essential for a writer to have a formal education?” “Charles Dickens and Mark Twain didn’t even finish grade school,” I reply. “Jack London dropped out of high school and Zola got 0 in French literature. Woody Allen says he was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; he looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to him.” ‘Perhaps you can tell us the reason you dropped out of high school?” asks the spitting image of my Grade 10 Home Economics teacher, who urged me to upgrade my Babysitting skills. “T looked into the soul of Home Ec,”’ J tell her, “and saw no future.” She writes that down. All the teachers, I suddenly notice, are writing down every word | utter. “Would you go so far as to blame the education system for the fact you became a writer?” asks one, who is also recording my answers on a pocket-sized tape-recorder. I don’t blame the system, I say, I am grateful to it. I explain how my creative juices started flowing when I began to forge notes from my parents with excuses why I was couldn’t partici- pate in Phys-Ed. I am thankful to my Phys-ed teacher for making me do time in the library after school. I spent hours in the stacks reading all kinds of modern poetry and discovered, among others, Irving Layton. I didn’t know poetry was even allowed to have four-letter words in it. His early poetry changed my life. “You say you enjoyed reading rude poems at school,” the teacher who is taping me continues, “Dut don’t you feel poetry should be used as a springboard to higher thinking?” “Give kids poems they can identify with,” I reply, “poetry that encourages lower thinking. No high school student wants to analyze the meta- phors in earle bimey’s “David”, or figure out what T.S. Eliot ‘really means.’ Read them that Bukowski poem with the “f° word in it instead. Chances are, every one in your class will have heard the “f” word before,” I continue, decoding poetry for the agents of chaos, “and be fully aware of its connotations.” We’re running out of time and the teachers are scnibbling faster. “Any kid who makes it as far as Grade 12 knows what Joe Hall really means when he wnites “I’m f jaded and I want more drugs’,” I assure them. All are writing furiously ...~... want ... MOTe ... drugs”. The teacher in the Grateful Dead shirt glances at his Rolex when he asks me, ~What about you? Did you use drugs in high school?” “Not in school,” I reply, “but in the parking lot behind the school. Someone said if you remember the 60’s you weren’t really there. Well — I don’t remember the lunch hours.” I’m giving them plenty of time to get it all down, but the Dead fan keeps looking over his shoulder at the clock. “Many of us here are children of the 60’s,” he says finally, closing his notebook, ‘“‘but what do you say now to this generation?” “Tell them — if they really want to get high, read poetry. As a teacher you can help by inviting living writers — Canadian writers — to come to your schools.” William Wordsworth is pushing up daffodils, I tell my audience, but Al Purdy is available. “You’ve done a whole lot of living,” the Dead fan wraps up. “Have you ever considered teaching as a profession?” I hear glasses clinking as the bar opens next door. “Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink,’ I say, quoting Gore Vidal to the teachers. Some are still writing as I head for the bar. ris. PENINSULA COMMUNITY ASSOCIATION pee YOUTH, ADULT AND FAMILY SERVICES “EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL PAIN” The purpose of this course is to examine and deal with * current and changing attitudes recognizing your feelings the relationship between emotional and physical pain other related strategies to help you get on with your life Each person will be asked to commit themselves for the full 12 weeks as each session blends into the next. The course will be facilitated by Barbara Howell — who works at the Master Level. Group meeis: Fridays, 10:30 - 12:00 noon April 5 - June 21/91 at PC.A. Cost: $36.00 in total Continued from Page A19 THRIFT SHOP HOURS The PCA Thnift Shop at 9783-Third Street is open Monday to Saturday, 9:30 am to 4:30 pm. CALLING NEW MOMS You and your baby, a discussion group for new mothers and care givers meets every Wednesday from 10 am to noon at St. Elizabeth’s Church, 10030 3rd Street, Sid- ney. Baby sitting is provided. For info call Kim at 656-6671. PHONE HELP PROGRAM CHAT - Caring people Helping other people in their community with daily contact and Acknowledging their well- being by talking to them on the Telephone. A new no-fee program available at the PCA. Call Donna at 656-0134. WHEELS WANTED Volunteer drivers needed to help the sick and elderly attend doctor's appointments. Call Donna at 656-0134 to volunteer for this program. Mileage is paid. ACTIVE LISTENING Free training program in listening skills with Doreen Burrows for the new telephone outreach program begins Apnil 18. Two hours a week for six weeks, certificate upon completion. Limit of 10 per class. Register at the PCA, call Donna or John at 656- 0134. WE’RE MAKING ROOM FOR Please pre-register with Elaine at 656-0134. ~~ ATTENTION Saanich Peninsula Farmers Saanich Peninsula Farmers Institute 75th Annual General Meeting March 20th, 7:30 pm The Pavillion at the Experimental Farm E. Saanich Road Agricultural Land Reserve Do farmers and land owners want it? The Farmers Institute needs a mandate from property owners and farmers Robin Herlinveaux Ray Galey President 656-7651 Vice-President 721-1948 YOU'RE INVITED TOA PUBLIC INFORMATION DROP-IN CONCERNING THE McKENZIE AVE. INTERCHANGE AT 2750 QUADRA STREET (Behind VLC Credit Union) Wed., March 20 & Thurs., March 21 3:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. The Ministry of Transportation & Highways is upgrading ithe Pat Bay Highway to expressway standard between McKenzie Avenue and Swartz Bay, to improve road safety and traffic flow. Preliminary design for the McKenzie Avenue Interchange is complete and you're invited to view these plans. Members of the Ministry's Project Team will be on hand to answer any questions. The Vancouver Island Highway is the largest highway project in the Province. Your interest and participation are appreciated and we look forward to seeing you. Province of British Columbia Ministry of Transportation and Highways Hon. Rita M. Johnston, Minister Photo Reprints Available. 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