Opinion If there is one area where Cana- dians lack imagination, it is in the design of the bathroom. In Canada there are two basic formats — the color-coordinated indoor set with the seat, the attached water tank and flush lever or the outdoor one or two-holer with the crescent moon on the door. Rural Zimbabwe introduced me to several ... um ... variations in water closets. My first shock was discovering a biffy with a split personality. For — some obscure reason, the designer had hung the water tank from the ceiling and replaced the familiar lever with a hanging pull handle. Luckily I was able to figure out the operation of the contraption with- out having to call in a consultant. The. second encounter was with a cross between the Canadian outhouse and a camping shower. Once the secret cord was found and jerked, a water mounted tank dumped a stream of water directly into the bow! and the surrounding area. No pipe, no directional funnel, just a descending Niagara that chased me out of the room before I was caught in the flood. Variation number three was the Blair ventilated toilet, designed in Zimbabwe in the late 1970s. A development worker had earlier enumerated the benefits of the design: easy to build using almost all local materials, a-lined pit to prevent seepage into the water table and a mesh-topped ventila- tion shaft to reduce odor and trap flies which would otherwise spread disease. It may be a major advance for the developing world but facing a triangular slit in the floor of a cement cubicle late one night at a Mozambique refugee camp, I wished someone had posted oper- ating instructions. A second encounter with a Blair toilet occurred outside a rural general store and bottle shop (liquor outlet). The smeared walls of the cubicle proved the locals had discovered an expedient way of dealing with the lack of toilet paper — and also reinforced the local courtesy of only offering the right hand since the left is used for personal hygiene, so to speak. I decided nature’s call was not that urgent. In search of something more closely resembling a westernized biffy, 1 was graciously offered the use of another creation nestled in a cement shed behind a general store. This was a truly unique version imaginative _ + Singing the biffy blues comprised of a wall-mounted water tank some distance from a pear-shaped bowl set into the floor. Cement knee pads on either side of the bowl suggested the appropriate position for utilization. An added luxury was a narrow rust coated copper pipe leading from the water tank to a tap beside the bowl. After briefly calculating the likely path of water through the system, I decided the tap water was probably safe to use for hand- ninsing — and probably not safe for drinking. For drink in the rural areas, I figured things would go better with Coke — bottled. This created another problem. Due to a bottle shortage, rural stores will not sell a bottle of soda pop to a customer unless the said customer first trades in an empty bottle. As the temperature climbed tow- ards 40 degrees ©, obtaining an empty pop bottle became a major personal goal. Until someone took pity on me by providing an empty, I was bitterly regretting my folly in arriving in Zimbabwe without a TheReview Wednesday, February 20,1991 — AI5 pop bottle in my luggage. At night I put up at the Luxury Restaurant and Night Club in Mt. Darwin, a scrubby little town that still bore evidence of war damage from 10 years past. In Mt. Darwin, and in almost all the rural areas, I was definitely a curiosity. Children clustered to Stare, adults studicd me openly or covertly, Not only was I a white venturing where few Caucasians show up but I was also a white who smiled at and spoke to black” “Zimbabweans and — the waiter was astonished — ordered the local specialty of sazda and stew. Despite an official policy of interracial tolerance, in practice much of white society in Zim- babwe distances itself from the black majority, to the point of not ealing the corn-based sazda since the dish is too African. My tiny Mt. Darwin hotel room provided all the local color and atmosphere a budding horror story writer could want: bare plaster walls, cement floor, a barred win- dow, a single bed, a ghost-like mosquito net and a lumbering three-inch beetle in the corridor. _ Squeezing past the beetle, one reached the bathroom. I was never so happy to see a western biffy in my life. The receptionist apologetically explained the bathtub didn’t work, but invited me to ask for hot water from the front desk when I wanted to wash. Upon request, the hot water was quickly and graciously provided, confirming the high opinion I had already formed of Zimbabwe hos- pitality. Next week, in the final Out of Africa column, Lennox will focus on the more serious topic of AIDS in Zimbabwe. EMERGENCY NUMBER 655-4459 5-10025 GALARAN RD. 656-1313 YOUR PERMANENT HOT LINE NATURALLY | aie ie HAIRe co = SKINCARE BY KRISTINE To Serve the Entire Peninsula Brentwood Village Square Brentwood Bay s* BEAR PUBdg MUSIC FROM 50'S 1 90'S “THE DEVILLES” ‘Squeezing past fhe beetle, one reached the bathroom. I was never so happy fo see a western biffy in my life’ (They played during that time period __ and they have several records to their name) SOME WILL REMEMBER THEM - -- APPEARING NIGHTLY WED. TO SAT. UPHOLSTERY KANTIQUES = FURNES 6655 TRUDEAU TERRACE BRENTWOOD BAY, B.C. *DRAPERIES * ETC. f3 | Travelodge | eT 2280 BEACON AVE OPEN EVERY DAY aneie © pone Fe DO YOU KNOW WHICH CAME 1st The Year "1891 : The original Hotel Sidney was built. : Sidney became a town. but which came first? The Waterfront otel idney ET. we'll give a dinner for two UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT ... CHEF” DON MEE... HOURS: SUN. - THURS. 11:00 A.M. - 8:00 PM. 5 FRI. & SAT. 11:00 A.M. - 10 PM. =F HOLIDAYS 11:00 A.M. - 8:00 PM. f DAILY LUNCH SPECIALS........ °4” SERVED TILL 3 PM. COMBO SPECIAL FAMILY DINNER SPECIAL eed 4 CHICKEN CHOW MEIN CHINESE CHOW MEIN 7). 4 CHICKEN CHOP SUEY 4 CHICKEN FRIED RICE x SWEET & SOUR CHICKEN DEEP FRIED PRAWNS BALLS BONELESS PORK oa ea erecna DEEP FRIED PRAWNS SWEET & SOUR ATEN& COFFEE 4 ALMOND GUY DING wy $6°° “Bayslore OY Restaurant waterfront. vsa Chinese Cuisine |@® 656-1131 a EAT IN- TAKE OUT~- DELIVERY - E 2537 Beacon Ave. 812 Verdier Ave. Brentwood Bay 652-3622) \ INCLUDED % 1 EGG ROLUPERSON SERVES 4-5 $9 G50 PEOPLE Serving the Peninsula for over 13 years. Always with Guaranteed Fresh- ness, Consistancy and sony) Taste. | to the person with the most information. Celebrating our 100th Yearon | : Sidney’s beautiful g fay