NS YN

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MODERN LIVING

Sometimes, the perfect gift is simply cash

eople are forever

asking Miss Man-

ners what is the

perfect present to
give. Not to give Miss Man-
ners, mind you... to give to
people whom they know and
she doesn't.

Grateful for this tribute to her
powers, Miss Manners must
nevertheless protest that she
lacks the opportunity to assess
the needs, wants and tastes of
strangers. Aren't those people
on your gift list because you
know them? And if you don’t
know what would please them,
don’t you at least know some-

@ body else — such as their

parents, children or roommates
— you can ask?

If you have no such connec-
tions, perhaps the way to take
care of that list is with a pair of
SCiSSOTS.

The sad factis there is no such
thing as the perfect all-purpose
present, of a size, color, utility
and style to fit the desires of
everyone. Even if there were, it
would be no good. Did such an
object exist, we all would have
saved up to go out and get one
for ourselves. And then it would
no longer be perfect, because we
would already have one.

Miss Manners can read your
sly thoughts: You think you

@ know exactly what the perfect

present is. It’s small, rectan-
gular and green, and no matter
how much people have, they still

_want more. Yes, and very useful

that stuff is for getting through
life. Miss Manners even admits
that it is appropriate for part of
your gift list — but that is exact-
ly the part that ought never to
have been there. Expressions of
gratitude toward service people
and employees should be made
in the form of tips and bonuses,
not presents. You are not ex-

pected to know enough about

their personal lives to be able to
figure out what else they would
enjoy receiving.

But among relatives and
friends, presents are supposed
to involve at least some attempt
at demonstrating that you
noticed what they are like. In
other words, thoughtfulness.

busi

By JUDITH MARTIN

Miss Manners knows that
many of you are only too willing
to relieve everyone of thinking
about the matter at all by dictat-
ing exactly what you want to be
given. Doing so is nevertheless a
mistake. It destroys the admit-
tedly burdensome, but never-
theless rewarding, point of
giving and receiving presents,

and without that element, the
exchange has no excuse at all.

Rather than give money back
and forth or agree to do one
another’s shopping from pre-
supplied lists, why don’t you just
call it even and quits? Or ex-
change IOUs?

Oh, now there. Miss Manners
understands that it is not only
greed but the desire to avoid
waste — allowing others to
spend time and money on what
will not be used or appreciated
— that prompts you to attempt
to direct others in what to give
you. And she has nothing
against probings and hints, if
they are kept within reasonable
bounds.

As a caution against overdoing
it, she would like to make the
quixotic argument that the od-
dest presents often end up being
the most treasured. People who
got nothing for wedding
presents except the place set-
tings from the patterns they
chose, or a variety of cheques’

that disappeared into their own
funds, will never know the
pleasure of looking around years
later and remembering who
gave them what. There is a spe-
cial ring about saying, “That was
a wedding present.”

And speaking of rings, nice
people understand so thorough-
ly that the symbolic value of a
present outweighs its monetary
or aesthetic value that a nice
lady wouldn’t even want to keep
a ring from an alleged
gentleman for whom she has no
further use. Nor do nice people
ban from their aesthetically
coordinated homes the lopsided
presents their children make
them.

They are rather inclined to
love the peculiar choices of their
endearing friends, out of an
emotion that is half amusement
and half sentimentality. And if
they really can’t bear what they
get, they thank the donors en-
thusiastically and go exchange
it, donate it to charity or bury it

in secret.

They are perfectly safe doing
this because nice people never
inquire whatever happened to
that present they gave you, and
how come they never see it being
used.

DEAR MISS MANNERS —
Will you please repeat that it is
okay to begin eating when one is
served rather than waiting for a
full table to be served, with cold
plates for those who were served
first? When I quote you, people
think I am making it up.

GENTLE READER — Miss
Manners said it allright, but you
must have been under her din-
ner table at the time. What she
said was, “Oh, please go ahead
and start” to her own guests, as
gracious hostesses do when they
don’t have a footman for every
guest.

Gracious guests, however,
must unfortunately sit looking
as if food were the last thing on
their minds until they hear
these magic words.

Born to shop... preferably far from home

hen someone

says “You'll

have to goa long

way before you
find a bigger bargain,”
believe them. It is the
shopper’s equation — the
more distance between
your place of residence and
the place of purchase, the
better the deal.

As one of them phrased it, “If
you don’t have to cross water
to get it, it can’t be worth
having.”

Because born shoppers know
there is a 200-mile minimum,
they overlook our Customs of-
ficers. They've been north,
east and west and there is
nowhere else to go but south of
the border. (Not to discredit
Whistler . . . I paid $20 for my
favorite Viyella shirt there.)

When shopping on a week-
day, one is limited by school
hours, standard time and the
price of gas. Weekends are bet-
ter because you can go farther

SAT., DEC. 15
“Christmas Magic with Paints
for Kids” in Unit 9.

10:30-12:

Be lPaingizoot

“1: La Gonfrerie St. Julien Carollers.
2: Videos/Polaroids with Santa at his
temporary office in Market Square,
Unit 43.

Brass Trio.

Imagination Market in Unit 51.

Dickens Christmas in the
Heart of Old Town at Market Square

SC
You’ re |

Invited

e Christmas M
Sincerely yours,

2-3: [Theatre Inconnu.
2-4: {Santa at Market Square.
SUN., DEC. 16
12-4: | Petting Zoo.
12-4: } Imagination Market in Unit 51.
1-2:30}, Christmas Magic with Paints for Kids
in Unit 9.
2-3: || Theatre Inconnu, Unit 47.
3-4: | Santa at Market Square.

for more information

386-2441

560 Johnson Street, Victoria

and buy more, if you have
timed your visit to be out of the
country more than 48 hours.
Some people go to extremes by
staying three or four months.
They say it is for the sunshine,

ping that you didn’t know were
there. For instance, at West
Edmonton Mall, where the
clocks run an hour fast, there
is no sales tax. The experience
can be too much for someone

but I know it with a weak
is for the heart.
shopping. Crossing
Everybody the Interna-
knows that tional

il
sf

crossing a
border and

paying in
U.S. dollars
adds an

extra dimen-

Dateline
bumps pur-
chasing into
a new, elite
category. If
you buy it in

sion to the Japan, it’s
shopping: ex- got to be ex-
perience. ceptional.
You might be ee Anything
able to find By JOAN MYLES brought
the  equi- home from

valent item
in Duncan,
but there would be no thrill
unless you were a tourist just
in from Japan.

Shopping in another time
zone is like putting on 3D glas-
ses. You'll see aspects of shop-

Korea will be

scads better

than something made in Korea

and purchased here. Bargain-

ing in Hong Kong is a
shopper’s idea of heaven.

If you can’t make the trip,

you can experience the hassle

and inconvenience simply by
shopping from a mail order
catalogue. By returning tear-
out sheets from magazines,
you can amass enough
catalogues to shop all over the
world without leaving your
living room.

Well... you will have to leave
your living room once, to get a
stamp for the U.S., or an air-
mail sticker and a money order
in whatever currency they ac-
cept. You may have to go to the
Customs office to collect the
parcel. If it doesn’t meet with
your approval, there will be
another trip back to the post
office. It is always awkward
trying to find a translator who
can write “money back
guarantee” in Urdu.

If it fits, and the color doesn’t
run, there is a certain cachet
attached to being able to say, “I
got it from a little shop in the
Hebrides that specializes in
sheepskin underwear.”

So what if you can buy it at
Woolco!

MN 3
Hela

1

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