eS LS OS SOD eS A SS Dre mete ST ee fe ned i SAS tet me SI) EO ETIQUETTE People who boast about former wealth offensive EAR MISS MANNERS — As a gentleman, I refrain from bring- ing attention to the seem- ingly incorrect behavior of others; however, lately I have found myself con- fronted with a situation in which I do not wish to remain acquiescent. This is the unsolicited refer- ence to some lost wealth, or the manner in which a friend or ac- quaintance has previously benefited from the generosity of some person of considerable financial means: “Oh, last summer, David ‘$Vhozit and I went to the Bahamas for a month on his private yacht.” “Of course, I grew up on large estate, so any apartment is a matchbox to me.” “In the old days, I wouldnt have thought of going out to dine with less than $300.” Grandeur of this nature, espe- cially when obviously false, seems so petty. To compound the nuisance, the people who make these statements are usually repeat offenders. Am being abit toofussy? How does one tactfully let it be known that hearing such nouveau- riche prattle, especially when it is unprompted and unsubstan- ‘@jated, is wholly undesirable and nearly unbearable? GENTLE READER — Miss Manners does not mean to be fussy, either, but she must tact- We use only the Finest Ingredients No Preservatives fully let it be known that the phenomenon you observe is not nouveau-riche prattle. Quite the opposite. It is prattle known as: “Before the Revolu- tion, my family used to own all this.” ‘Miss-Manners: ee} By JUDITH MARTIN Miss Manners suggests that rather than being irritated by this, you learn to have fun with it. This is done by looking im- pressed and questioning the braggart with naive persistence: “On a yacht! Imagine that. Where did you stop? How many were in the crew? Whos David Whozit? Does your family still live on the estate? Three hundred dollars for dinner? What did you eat? Does that in- clude the tips?” The beauty of this approach is that it is faultlessly polite, only taking up matters that the per- son has already offered for con- versation. And if it does not put a stop to the offensive conversa- tion, it provides material for fu- ~ivianp—RESTAY RANT ture conversation with more amusing and sophisticated partners. DEAR MISS MANNERS — I work in my cousin’s grocery store as a cashier. We get cus- tomers who purchase a product and then complain about how expensive it is. They then proceed to say how they could get it cheaper some place else, maybe just down the block. As the cashier and the employee of a relative, what should I say or do? I could simply ignore them, but the urge to say, “Why don’t you go there and buy it, if its cheaper there?” gets stronger and stronger. Ive had it up to my head with this kind of customer. - GENTLE READER — What you are listening to is not any- thing so sensible as an evalua- tion of competitive commercialism, but simple grousing. Miss Manners doesn’t blame you for being annoyed, but believes anything so reasonable as arguing would be pointless, as well as bad for busi- ness. Try replying cheerfully, “Well, we certainly appreciate your patronage,” as if the store had been complimented by these remarks, Indeed, it has been. If your customers are really will- ing to pay higher prices at your store, it must be that the atmos- phere or service is better. Surely you want to encourage rather than dispel that possibility. DEAR MISS MANNERS — After eight years together, my fiance and IJ are getting married — at an informal garden wed- ding with no attendants. My fiance has two children, an 18-year-old son and a 13-year- old daughter. I have enjoyed a good relationship with them through the years, and a civil relationship has been main- tained with the children’s mother. My fiance’s ex-wife offered to shop and pay for the dress for this daughter. I requested a tea- length dress in light blue or peach. The dress that was pur- chased is casual, white and above the knee. I like the dress but don’t think it is appropriate to wear to my wedding. My Looking for person? how to write a novel. So when you want to say for that hard-to-get-for How about: a look at the stars...a taste of music...a heritage walk...a language...a drawing course...or, UVic Extension Gift Certificates can be used toward courses, learning materials, or educational travel advertised in our Extension non-credit calendar. say it with “a gift of learning.” For details please call 721-8460. UNIVERSITY EXTENSION AND COMMUNITY RELATIONS fiance suggested buying another dress and not telling the child’s mother. The girl cried and said that was like lying to her mother. She suggested dying it, which J doubt the mother would approve of. What is the etiquette of wed- ding attire? Are my disappoint- ment and irritation justified? GENTLE READER — The etiquette of wedding attire is that the bride cannot dictate what anyone wears, other than — depending on how pliable his nature — the bridegroom. Even the bridesmaids should be al- lowed to have some voice in choosing their clothing. gift ideas “Merry Christmas,” PIZZA, PASTA, STEAK, SEAFOOD, GREEK & ITALIAN CUISINE Peter Katsaros, former owner of Dino’s Place Restaurant Franchise at Tillicum and Burnside is pleased to announce the opening of his independent restaurant TINO’S ISLAND RESTAURANT located at 771 Vernon Avenue. TINO’S ISLAND RESTAURANT is independently owned and operated. Licensed Premises YON a mm VERNON AVE Just north of Save-On Foods Across from Saanich Municipal Hall It is not associated in any way with the Dino’s Franchise Family Restaurant . Family Dining Take-out or Free Delivery Daily Lunch & Dinner Specials Lots of Free Parking OPEN DAILY: MON. - THUR.: 11 AM - 12 MID. [ 1 FRI. & SAT.: 11 AM-1 SUNDAY: 4 PM - 12 MID. feseeren VISA AM ST) MasterCard 386-3522