= Opinion TheReview Wednesday, June 6, 1990 — A7 It’s girls’ baseball time again. Whoop-de-doo. Tn the past, when I’ve covered this sport for this paper, readers’ reactions have been mixed. In spite of a Herculean attempt to remain fair and impartial, some readers considered my repor- ting on the sport to be stupid, infantile, moronic, sexist, ill-informed, vacuous, witless, asinine, doltish, simple-minded and dumb. Others were not so kind. Some of you succumbed to baser instincts and spoke pointedly of thumb screws, dismemberment and lobotomy. Therefore, this year I do not intend to allow any personal feelings I may have about the sport to infiltrate this column. Instead, I will let you come to your own conclusions based on the results of the following questionnaire drawn up by inde- pendent baseball experts from right across the continent. Here are nine common baseball situations. Your job is simply to choose the answer which you feel best fits. Pop your completed form into the nearest mailbox. The results will be announced at the next game. 1. A ball has been hit and it’s dribbling down the. third base line. The third baseman is frant- cally pointing to her nght: (a) she is indicating that the ball has rolled foul. (b) she is telling the catcher it is her ball. (c) she is telling the shortstop that her boyfriend is the one in the yellow sweater in the third row. 2. The catcher, pitcher, first and third basemen have gathered in front of the plate: (a) they are chasing down a bunt. (b) the game is over and they are congratulating the pitcher. (c) the catcher has discovered a run in her sock and wants to know if anyone has some clear nail polish. 3. An outfielder is looking up: (a) an opposing player has hit a towering fly ball. Root for the home team (b) an opposing player has hit a line drive. (c) an opposing player has hit a ground ball. 4. The infielders are jumping up and down and yelling: (a) they are indicating to an outfielder to throw the ball to a specific base. (b) the game is over and they’ve won. (c) someone’s parents have arrived and the players are all saying “Hi.” 5. There is a conference on the mound: (a) the catcher and pitcher are checking their signals. (b) the coach is making sure the pitcher is okay. (c) the pitcher is crying and needs a hankie. 6. The catcher has ripped off her mask and is twirling about: (a) she is searching for a pop foul. (b) she was hit on the foot by a foul. (c) she is celebrating the first strike the pitcher has thrown in three innings. 7. A player is running quickly home from third base: (a) the winning run is on the way in. (b) the runner is on the last leg of a possible inside-the-park home run. (c) there is a mouse on the field. 8. The dugout is deathly quiet: (a) the game is out of reach. (b) the coach has just told the team to “bear down” and the players are grim with determina- tion. (c) the players have just been told they can’t have new stretchy, day-glo, designer uniforms but must continue to wear the yucky, gucky, baggy, red rags they ve had all season. 9. The dugout is alive with emotion and noisy yelling: (a) the team is ahead and just might win. (b) they are trying to distract an opposing batter. (c) the players have been told they'll get freezies at the end of the game - win or lose. JUST US FREE ESTIMATES Dorman’s Carpet Cleaners ¢ CARPET CLEANING - UPHOLSTERY CLEANING Owner Wilf Dorman gives personal attention to all orders 9570 Northiawn Terrace, Sidney, B.C. Phone: 656-4754 - 30 Years Experience Two community-minded cops retire TWO POLICEMEN RETIRING from the Cen- tral Saanich police department will be missed by the department and the community they served. A general duty policeman who was very involved in community service, Cst. Neil Laing left the force after 24 years of service. Laing was very well known, helped establish the school patrol system in Central Saanich and assisted with the bicycle roadeo from its inception. He will remain an auxiliary constable, to add even more time to a community he joined in May 1966. Also retiring recently was a policeman who is well known around the shores of Saanich Inlet, inspecting boats in his capacity with the Coast Guard Auxiliary. Cst. Jim Earl also was the driving force behind the restoration of Car 54, a black-and-white with the cherry on top that is a shining, nostalgic addition to many community events. Earl was a crime prevention/community relations officer, helped initiate the Neighborhood Watch program and joined the municipal force in Januray 1971. Both go on to new horizons in mid-July. * * & A SUMMER FAIR will be held at the Saanich Historical Artifacts Society grounds on the Father’s Day weekend, June 16-17. Featured at the fair will be train rides, hay rides and various displays. The event, which runs from 9 a.m. to 4.30 p.m. each day will make an ideal family outing, organizers say. * ok BCAA MEMBERS on the Peninsula will have access to a 24-hour emergency road service through a new toll-free number, 1-800-663-2222, BCAA announced recently. The new service came into effect on June 1. * * & LOOKING FOR HORSE GOODIES? The 1990 Horse Industry Directory B.C. is now available free of charge at most tack and feed stores throughout ‘he province or by contacting ‘the Horse Coune! cf B.C. at 576-2722, the society recently anncunced. * *K Xx JUNE MARKS Adopt A Cat Month, which is a nationwide effort to find permanent homes for lost and abandoned cats, B.C. SPCA director Lynn West said this week. The average life of an indoor cat is 15-20 years, compared to about 18 months to four years for a cat that is allowed to roam outside because motor vehicles, other animals and extreme weather conditions are all potentially fatal dangers for these cats, West added. She urges people to adopt a cat or a kitten, adding that complimentary adoption packages will be given to anyone who adopis one of our feline friends this month. For more information, she can be reached at 385-6521 or 388-7722. * ok Kk THE LATEST BIG WINNER IS Saanichton resident Margaret Johnson who won $10,000 last week from the British Columbia Lottery Corporation. Another winner, Dave Fraser, also of Saanichton, received the same luck this week to win a cool $10,000 himself. ** WHAT WEEK IS THIS? Rita Johnson, Minis- ter of Transporiation and Highways, has declared June 3-9 National Transportation Week in British Columbia, stressing the contribution transportation makes to the progress and prosper- ity of the nation. 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