5,
: se Y
ac:
7 @

by Valorie Lennox
The Review

A month after he was diagnosed
with AIDS, Don Thomas was
dead.

The day before he died, sister
Verna Popejoy flew from Sidney to
Toronto to spend a few last hours
with her brother.

“Once I walked in the door, it
was my brother. It was not a person
sitting there with a big A on his
forehead.”

A registered nurse, Popejoy sus-
pected her 47-year-old brother had
AIDS early in 1988, although the
diagnosis was not made until July
that year.

“T would suspect my brother
was infected years and years ago,”
she said, adding that Don was in a
high-risk group.

Frequent infections, skin prob-
lems and repeated bouts of bron-
chitis had plagued Don since
Christmas 1987. He had taken a
test for human immuno-deficiency
virus in December, but did not tell
his family the results.

“He probably had some inkling
but he wouldn’t admit it to him-
self,’ Popejoy said. “I really knew
long before he had a diagnosis.”

In June Don was admitted to
hospital for blood transfusions
because of low hemoglobin. In
July he was back in hospital, being
treated for pneumonia.

By the drugs her brother was
given, Popejoy realized he had
pnheumocystis carinii pneumonia, a
disease which attacks people with
depressed immune systems.

The disease is a major killer of
AIDS victims.

Don recovered enough to go
home to his Toronto apartment.
Friends dropped in to help with
cooking, cleaning and transporta-
tion.

He had many friends.

“He was the kind of person who
could talk to you and you could
see he was listening,” Popejoy
said. She remembers his knack for
matching special gifts with recip-
ients and his relationship with her
children.

During a visit over Christmas
1986, he initiated a whimsical
swearing contest with her two

=
3

Sister shares In deat

AIDS VICTIM Don Thomas and furred friend Cherie.

boys, then took the pair shopping
to a second-hand store.

“The children have a strong
sense of Don.” Her younger son,
now 12, recently wrote a story
about his uncle — and was
rebuked by his teacher for creating
an imaginary character instead of
describing a real person as
required.

Popejoy admits Don’s life could
sound fictional. A theatrical stage
manager, he worked at the Charlot-
tetown Festival and went to Japan
with the Anne of Green Gables
tour.

He organized industrial shows
and worked with the Shaw Festival
for many years. At 40, he switched
to a new Career in massage therapy
and acupuncture, working with
many AIDS patients.

A psychotherapy course he was
taking to help him relate better to
his patients led him to write down
his own feelings about his illness.

He wrote about his fear when he
was first admitted to hospital —
fear of the disease and fear of
being shunned like a leper — and
about the nurse who took time to
hold his hand and listen.

“Nobody wore gloves. He was
treated as the adult and person he
was. They treated him with dig-
nity, Popejoy said.

“People who have AIDS have
the same needs and feelings as

everyone else.”

In Don’s apartment Popejoy
found books on dying and on
spiritual questions.

Early in August, Don was read-
mitted to hospital. “Everything
was Still okay, no problems.”

Popejoy called her brother daily
— sometimes two and three times
a day. Her phone bill for the month
climbed over $400.

Towards the end of August, Pop-
ejoy felt uneasy. Her brother’s
voice had changed although nei-
ther the nursing staff nor his
friends reported a change in Don’s
condition.

’ Popejoy called Don’s doctor and
was told her brother had days to
live.

The next day, a Thursday, she
arranged a loan from the bank, left
the children with friends until her
husband returned from his job in
the Arctic and flew to Toronto the
next morning.

The doctor suspected Don had
inoperable tumors on his major
organs. Given the options of prob-
able unsuccessful treatment or pal-
liative care, Don chose palliative
care.

Popejoy saw. her brother Friday
night and was back at the hospital
Saturday morning. Don knew he
was dying. Popejoy told Don that
she loved him and would stay with

him.
/

nield Appeal Night —

t into someones life.

The lonely heart crying out for
The child crying for compassion: These-are the people for whom the Salvation Army
provides help, and then hope, the people who need it most. :

you ca

“THE NATIONAL RED SHIELD APPEAL

. _ God knows

769 Pandora Ave
Victoria B.C. V8W 1N9
386-6304

ake a difference _

2 Salvation Army Public Relations Dept.

We ask for them that you give: As much as you can:

TheReview Wednesday, May 2,1990 — A12

Friends visited and wrote down
Don’s wishes. Occasionally Don
drifted into hallucinations, caused
by his oxygen-starved brain.

He drifted to sleep, slipped! into
a coma and died.

“When I saw his breathing
change, the nurse in me wanted to
say ne, you can’t go — but | had'to

é

h from AIDS

names made by her brother and
headed’ ~The Party.”

All of those people were invited,
giving Popejoy a chance to share
other people’s remembrances of
her brother. Included in the tri- ¢&
butes was a donation to a Toronto
hospice for AIDS victims, sent in
her brother’s name by the Shaw

ee

for m i Festival.

a eee lo Decallse was Sadly, Don’s older brother
eT thine Heedecided he was refused to acknowledge Don after

ready to die.” the AIDS diagnosis.

Don’s mother arrived in Toronto : #18 Meyer Biss acoai Don, He
Sunday. Popejoy still wonders if ihe’ t eal iim And Pals uo) Sta
Don accepted death Saturday to WED 2S ee A Eoes9y Sat
spare himself and his mother a Bo eove| sy: pe last hours with
deathbed farewell the following Den were a privilege. ;
day. _“T got to share the ultimate. I got

: to share my brother’s death, to be

Popejoy stayed in Toronto forthe there and to hold his hand. People
memorial service and to host a who shun people who are ill with
gathering in Don’s apartment, AIDS and who are dying lose
where she had found a list of that.” <

Dental Laboratony Lid,
«#39768 2nd. St.
SIDNEY, B.C. VSL 3Y8

We are pleased to announce the opening
of our dental laboratory on April 30, 1990.

FOR GRAD, MOM & DAD
~ PERSONALIZED WATCHES —

* Black Dial & Strap

SPECIAL OFFER

2443 Beacon Ave., Sidney

- *18 K Gold-Plated Case

*80 Names Available
Reg. Price $289.00

ORDER BEFORE MAY 15th
RUST'S ©
JEWELLERS CTD.

*xSwiss Movement

——- z SS

uxUry

living in a natural setting”

a unique blend of 75 adult orientated carriage
homes nestled throughout 75 acres of manicured

and prestine parkland.

OPEN DAILY 10-5

1255 Wain Road, Sidney 655-3 111

oe

<3

Over 75*
Sold

ae
ee