ROOFTOP DESIGNS in the popular medium of cords, metal, far
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Photo by George Lee

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This Week March 28, 1990. Page M5

~ HUMOR

How hubby joined |
the dieting crowd

y plate’s damp,” complained my
husband.
“That’s your soup,” I told him.
He’s learning to diet, but he’s a
slow learner. Husbands don’t come to the table
with the instinctive knowledge of fats and
carbohydrates that women have. I've had to
educate him.

His doctor started it by warning that choles-
terol would do him in. Until then, he had
thought the cholesterol was something you put
in the wash to make the clothes come out white.
He came home

fat or eggs in the product. If you think the print
in telephone books has gotten smaller, wait
until you try reading a soup can label.

All of us use poly-unsaturated margarine on
our high-fiber bread. We dutifully eat our
broccoli without hollandaise sauce. There is oat
bran in the cupboard where the cookies used to
be.

The kids balked at skim milk, so we keep
both 2% and skim in the refrigerator. He thinks
it is wrong of us to drink real milk in front of a
man who is only allowed “blue” milk. He even
takes it per-

and told me to
stop using
that stuff on

sonally when
there is an ice
cream ad on

his shirts; it

TV.

i

was clogging

Life*s-Eike-The

We've been

his arteries. at it a month

He went now, long
back for a diet By JOAN MYLES enough for
sheet and him to take in

some tips. “For the rest of my life, I can eat all 1
want of anything I don’t like. No eggs, butter,
cream or red. meat.”

This is the fellow who thinks that man’s best
friend is the hot dog. He wears a look that
suggests his best friend has turned on him and
bitten him. It breaks my heart to see him stare
at his skinned half breast of chicken through a
magnifying glass.

The doctor told him that a family can help by
encouraging healthy eating and not tempting
the dieter with forbidden foods, but that the
ultimate responsibility falls on the dieter. He
memorized the first part and forgot the second.

“Do I smell pepperoni pizza on your breath?
Is that a chocolate bar wrapper in your pocket?”

We try. I take twice as long to shop because I
read all the labels to be sure there is no animal

one belt notch. If it were possible to bronze and
display that half inch, he would do it. It is
testimony to his will power and proves his
superiority over red meat eaters everywhere.
He insists on sending Before and After pictures
to the papers.

I trusted him to go out to lunch without a list
of don’ts, but I quizzed him when he came
home.

“Break you diet?”

“Nope. You would have been proud. I looked
down the menu and ruled out anything that
had au beurre or au gratin written next to it. I
skipped the section on omelets and passed over
burgers and steaks. I had fish.”

“You don’t like fish.”

“T really enjoyed this. Fish and chips. . .
Mmm. You can serve it to me every week.”

a

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