| } J @ sat down to eat, the lady next ear Miss Manners — In this day when nursing mothers see nothing wrong with nursing in public, we have also endured the effects of ready to report all to the health department, or scream. Gentle Reader — Funny you should mention nursing Health laws and etiquette we that what is happening is a health violation and should be reported immediately to their superior. Otherwise, you might add, you yourself will Gentle Reader — Miss Manners is not in the habit of wresting more freedom for young ladies away from their _propriety-minded fathers. But another motherly duty — while others were eating. The first incident happened while we were enjoying an ice-cream treat in a rather fancy ice-cream parlor. As we | to us proceeded to change her baby’s soiled diaper on the Miss-Manners- By JUDITH MARTIN table, saying, “Boy, I'm glad you didn’t do this in the de- partment store.” Needless to say, we gagged. There was no management visible, only teen-agers filling ice cream orders. We thought such a thing would not happen again, but it did. It happened at a nice place — carpeted floors, cloth- napkins — where we went for dinner. A family of grandpar- ents, parents and children came in. Half way through our dinner, the mother changed her baby’s diaper — on a chair, this time, not the table. The “event” was in our full view while we ate. What would be the polite, mannerly response? We were mothers in connection with these incidents. When Miss Manners has pointed out that nursing a baby is not consid- ered a public fuction in our society, she has always been bombarded with statements that “This is a natural func- tion” and “It’s more important that I tend to my baby’s need.” So now we have the logical extension. Whew: Miss Manners chooses re- porting over screaming. The idea is to make these people stop, not to have a battle over propriety. Even if teen-agers are left in charge of an eating estab- lishment, they must be made to act responsibly. Tell them | =Hife’s-Like-fhe By JOAN MYLES t must be spring. I saw the first snowbird of the year this morning. When I pulled the curtains, there he was, struggling up the front steps of the house opposite, a tan on his face and a suitcase under each arm. I called for the children to come and see. “I'he Smiths are home from Pheonix.” It is a bit early for snowbirds. They don’t usually show up from California or Arizona until later in the season. He was shivering as he carried a net bag of grapefruit from the car. A strong tail wind must have brought him in early, before the rest of the flock. I recognized his mate although she was almost hidden behind a pile of ‘Grandma Went To Los Angeles and All I Got Was a T-shirt? shirts. Nature has camouflaged the female by giving her duller plumage, enabling her to blend into the background. The lady snowbird can be identified by her white slacks and sandals while the male is resplendent in colorful golf shirt and cocky baseball cap. It was early in the season, but she was already intent on nest building. First she hopped to Beaver Lumber, for sticks then she hopped to Home Hardware for string, twittering about new curtains and pecking at the male when he got in the way. I worry about them. Tired after their long journey from trailer parks and condomin- iums in the far south, they face a serious shortage of food when they first arrive back in Canada. Not all birds thrive on the same diet. Some are seed eat- ers, others are fly catchers and some, like crows, eat any- thing. You can tell by the shape of their beaks which they prefer. Snowbirds are obviously vitamin C eaters - dependent upon citrus fruit, berries in season and prunes. Because they have arrived back before the strawberries are ripe, they may starve unless we mount a campaign to feed them. Most of you have a bird feeder close by. You have probably ceased buying birdseed and fat because the birds which winter here can find their own supply now. Hasten to your bird feeder and stock it with oranges. In no time at all the snowbirds will find it. You will spend many happy hours hiding behind the kitchen curtains with your bird book, identifying the beer bellied snowbird, the white crested snowbird and the deeply tanned snowbird. If you are lucky, they will stay around all summer, baking pies and building swing sets. Don’t let yourself get to attacked to them. Next November, they'll head south again. report it to the health depart- ment. Dear Miss Manners — | am 14 years old and have been extremely close to a young man for seven months now. We are not romantically inter- ested in each other but do enjoy a strong friendship. My father thinks that it is inappropriate for a young la- dy like me to call a young man, even if we are good friends. What do you think? she agrees that you have a point. It is very likely that your father does not really believe in romance-free friendships between boys and girls, be- cause they were comparative- ly uncommon a generation ago. In the social pattern which his rule refers, young ladies and young gentlemen only got together on formal dates. Thus, the only reason for calls, or anything else, between those of opposite gen- an, This Week March 7, 1990. Page M5 re violated der was courtship, and the gentleman was in charge of the courting. A young lady who violated that code was thought to be pushy and desperate. She was a figure of fun in the house- hold of the object of her affec- tions, and he was teased un- mercifully about being chased. The pattern has now changed. Friends may call one another without regard to gender, and courtship is not so unequallly initiated. It is also comic and unpleasant for any- one to call another person’s household so often as to be- come a nuisance and a joke, but that rule applies to all. Feeling incorrect? Address your etiquette questions (in black or black-blue ink on white writing paper) to Miss Manners, in care of this news- paper. The quill shortage pre- vents Miss Manners from an- swering questions other than through this column. A Video tr cade Experience bhats Ont Of his World. \ DS JOIN DAVE FARRELL ON LOCATION FROM 4 TO 8 PM