This Week February 21, 1990. Page M5

a8

NATIVE DANCER was only one of dozens who brought a
special ceremony on the lawn of the Legislature to life. The
occasion was the unveiling of the Knowledge Pole carved
by Cicero August of Duncan. The pole overlooks the Inner
Harbour, proposed site of the 1994 Commonwealth Games.

Photo by TONY KANT

===Miss=Mennetrs——

By JUDITH MARTIN

EAR MISS MANNERS — On a recent airline flight,
I was ordered by a fellow passenger to sit down while
I was attempting to place my regulation-sized carry-
on bag in an overhead compartment. After ordering
me at least twice, the man proclaimed that I was blocking the

~ ife’s Like That

By JOAN MYLES

y sister the farmer had good news.
“Pye made a breakthrough in agri-
culture that will improve the quali-
ty of life for 15 per cent of Canadian

women.”

“No-fat butter?” I asked.

“Stretch leather.” she answered.

I asked the obvious question, “Why?”

She gave me a pitying look that implied I
hadn’t thought things through. “Because we
can’t all be size 7 all of the time.”

She never spoke a truer word.

Who has not heard the anguished wail of the
woman who spent $300 for butter soft, knock-
em-dead size 7 leather pants and woke up one
morning to find she was size 71/ 2? Even size
71/ 4 is enough to make her cry. Leather must
(pardon the expression) fit like a glove.

There are those who say “Let them buy size 9.”
but they don’t realize that size 7 is power and
size 7 leather is like being chosen queen. There
is nothing anyone can deny you.

So when the one chocolate bar she’s allowed

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herself this year hits the hips, or when dreaded
water retention balloons her thighs to size 71/ 3,
shell pay any price. Stretch leather. That’s what
credit cards are for.

My sister had been working on the Spandex
solution for years. First, she tried feeding rubber
to her cows. They spat it out. They wouldn’t eat
it when she mixed it with hay, either. Finally she
tried a trick that had worked with her children.
She disguised it in peanut butter. They loved it.

Soon she had cows bouncing around the
barnyard. At milking time they gave milk-
shakes. When butchered, the steaks were too
chewy to eat and the leather reminded her of
snow tires.

It wasn’t untill she substituted elastic for
rubber that she met with success. Even then,
she spent months adjusting the ratio of elastic to
peanut butter so that the leather would have
just the right amount of give. One part elastic to
18 parts peanut butter seems just about nght.

There’s just one problem. You get leather that
sticks to the roof of your mouth.

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step aside or sit to facilitate their boarding? Bs 4 (7235/85R16 8 | $209.70 $141.19 |p

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Should one look them in the eye while telling them to bug off
in a socially acceptable way? Or tell them they're rude? Or
meekly step aside with no comment?

GENTLE READER — Miss Manners has counted a series of
rudenesses here, all lined up like weary, burdened travelers in

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an airplane aisle. eat
The first was committed by you. To block the aisle, while prices Stl . P20575 R14
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passengers trying to put their luggage away prevent others PI9575R14 | $68.50 eee ee

from boarding the plane-just as airplane service carts in the
aisles prevent passengers from getting to and from bathrooms
when they need to — but one must make the best of it. When
the rush is on, the considerate passenger steps in to his or her
seat, while keeping a wary eye on the overhead space to throw a
bag into it at the first break.

The second rudeness was committed by the passenger who
used words or a tone that you considered an order. He should
have said, “Excuse me, please, may I get by?” The correct
answer to that would have been either “I'm so sorry-just a
minute” or “Certainly — sorry.”

Miss Manners noted with some relief that you only commit-
ted a weakened version of the third rudeness, which was to
return rudeness with rudeness. It is rude to tell an offender to
bug off; telling him he was rude was bad enough.

“I’m so sorry, sir” would have been not only more polite but
more effective — especially if you added charmingly, I wonder if
you would be so kind as to help me with this-that might speed
things up.”

ONLY AT
Miles Primrose’s

386-6367

(7 >
HILLSIDE — J)

616 GORGE RD. EAST
“Why go anywhere else”

HOURS: M-F 7:30 a.m.-5:30 SAT. 8-4