z Miz February 14, 1990. This Week

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Way to a man’s stomach is down his throa

T: early romantics were long on love, but stomach the way is to the intestines, not the heart. those heart shaped boxes and design stomad

fuzzy on anatomy. As often as not they A Plastic model of a heart looks like a big shaped ones with lace around the edges. When
mistook the heart for the stomach. Anyone hazlenut with tubes, not at all the valentine shape presents it to his loved one, instead of Saying “I givy

who has felt Cupid’s arrow knows that it we are accustomed to. Neither is the stomach my heart to you”, he'll truthfully state “My stomag

strikes about three inches above the navel, exactly heart-shaped. It looks for all the world like a 1S in your hands”. That level of committment cae
where the stomach is situated. ‘

result in ulcers. :
Even when it was pointed The recipient of stomacl
out to them that it was their shaped boxes of candy shoul
stomach turning flip flops in oe
their midsection, they chose
to ignore facts. Who can >= SSS SSS
blame them? They were poets ==} = EI le =: —y Sg SSS SS SSS
and it is hard to find a eee ife?s= [ EG= S
for stomach.
If they had been more accu- By JOAN MYLES
rate, we would have a differ-
ent vocabulary for love. Instead of referring to our bagpipe. Instead of crediting the French and

might be gas fired. If she
burps when she feels hee
heart soar, that’s the tipoff 4
It’s not her heart fluttering®
it’s her stomach rumbling. §
People using the new terminology this year musk

sweetheart, we'd mention our sweetstomach. The Italians with romantic ways, we ought to have been be careful to explain first that using the wor€
one we call our dear heart should be dear tummy. It lauding the Scots. “stomach” means the organ that holds our loves
only sounds strange because it is a new idea, I mentioned my theory to my husband, who is Otherwise, they risk a poke in the nose when the}
We say that the way to a man’s heart is through his Scottish. He was delighted. Instead of giving me a refer to someone as “big-stomached”.” :
stomach, but internists have proof that it isn’t so. dozen long-stemmed red roses, he bought me a Be a trendsetter. For Valentine’s Day, cut out #
They can demonstrate that the way to a man’s package of Tums. lot of bagpipe shapes and send them to youre
stomach is down his throat, but on leaving the Candy manufacturers must act quickly to scrap friends.

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