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by Stephanie Wlebe |

I recently read in the newspaper
that the average life expectancy
for a Canadian is 76.5 years,
according to the Centre for Dis-
ease Control in Atlanta, Georgia.
Interestingly, Canadians live
longer than Americans, who kick
off at the average age of 75
years. The Japanese live the
longest, checking out at an aver-
age of 79.1 years of age. What
does this tell us? That we all

should've been born Japanese.

Now, does this mean that an
American living in Canada should
live longer than his relatives back
home? Or does a Japanese living
in Canada take on Canadian life
expectancy? Maybe not. Statistics
never tell you those things.

I heard on the radio that left-
handed people are dying off at an
alarming rate, after the age of 34.
It seems that the population of
left-handers over 34 declines
Steadily until you try to find an
80-year-old left-hander, as rare as
an honest politician. This means
that the lucky folks who live past
the average expected age are
mostly right-handed. The people
who study this sort of thing fig-
ure this phenomenon is due to the
strain of living in a right-handed
world, a task I personally find
exhausting. It’s not easy, con-
stantly switching the fork from
one side to the other at the dining
table, you know.

So now I’m really wondering, is
a 34-year-old left-handed Ameri-
can doomed? J admit, I’m feeling
-weaker every passing minute.
Why wasn’t I born right-handed
and Japanese? As some sort of
sick consolation, I keep imagin-
ing the pitiful Hungarians, with
their average life expectancy of
only 69.7 years. Just imagine

what Hungarian left-handers are
dealing with — they must be
dropping like flies over there,

And to top it off, scientisis now
believe that laughing can actually
keep you healthy. It seems that
researchers believe the act of
laughing causes the human body
to produce certain chemicals that |
will ward off serious illnesses.
Oh sure, they announce these
depressing statistics about people
croaking, and then tell us to
LAUGH. I’ll bet the left-handed
Hungarian scientists aren’t laugh-
ing.

Now, also according to siatist-
ics, the average driver involved in
a serious auto accident in Canada
is a 34-year-old male. The statis-
tics don't say if he’s left-handed
or not, nor do they specify Hun-
garian or Japanese descent. Is this
average driver a left-handed

Hungarian, perhaps driving to a

Japanese restaurant? , They don’t
tell us this — these statistics are
incomplete.

It seems to me that reading
Statistics and listening to scien-
tists can be a depressing habit. I
wonder if there’s any research
conducted regarding people who
pay attention to these statistics
and the scientists who research.
them. Perhaps people who listen
to this stuff die off at a faster rate
than the folks who ignore it.
Perhaps the scientists who gather
this information tend to croak at
a younger age. I think a study
should be done about this.

In the meantime, I’m going to
eat sushi with my right hand and
laugh while I’m driving. Statistics
show that I probably won’t run
into a Hungarian scientist that
way.

The 747 SQUADRON AIR CADET first aid team following an impromptu timed exercise in Terrace

last week. The team, Cpl. Adam Hill (left), Cpl. Carrie-Jo Normandy, Cpl. Rick Boehm (spare),
F/Sgt. Christine Mermans and WO2 Ravi Gill (eam captain) placed second in the northern zones
and in the top 10 at the provincials in recent months. They were more than happy to demonstrate
their skills on Terrace Review reporter Tod Strachan, under the scrutiny of their coaches Terrace
lifeguard Paulette Joel and firefighter Dean Tetreau. Story on page BE.

Terrace kas been selected as
the Regional Center for a Sum-
mer School Institute to be held
in late August in Caledonia
Senior Secondary School.

The Ministry of Education
will sponser and fund the In-
stitute and School District #88
will coordinate the event with
participation expected from all
over the northwest.

The Year 2000 curriculum
changes will be the main focus in
three of the Institute’s pro-
grams: The Primary: Program
will be presented August 23 and
24; the Intermediate Program
August 21. and 22; and the

Graduate Program August 23
and 24,

At the same time, a credit
course in Special Education will
be provided by Simon Fraser
University from August 16 to
25, coordinated by Andrew
Scruton, Director of Special
Education in S.D. #88.

There will be no charge to par-

ticipants in the Institute pro-
grams, The credit courses re-
quire a fee payment,

‘*So many people are taking a
serious interest in what is hap-
pening in schools,”’ said Harold
Cox, Director of Instruction for

SD. §8..., “Wherever, . you |. g0,..

~$chool district to host
summer school institute

education is a subject of conver-
sation. The papers and pro-
posals presented in connection
with the Year 2000 have created
a good atmosphere for discus-
sion, And today’s parents havea
healthy interest and want to be
informed as to what is happen-
ing.”
' Orientation and planning is
being provided as never before,
with workshops and discussion
continuing through the year.
Persons interested in taking
any of the Institute courses may
obtain further information from

Harold Cox or Andrew Scruton —

at 635-4931.

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