closed doors _ Stopping abuse, The Terrace Standard, Wednesday, August 27, 1997 - A5 whether itis physr cal, sexual or even economic, isn’t just the responsibility of the courts or police, Those who work in the . justice system, and with people who've been abused, know that pre- venting abuse is something we all have to take responsibility for, even these stories. . if it’s as small as teaching a child not to hit his or her siblings. Freelance writer Brad Shillcock talked to a sut- vivor of abuse and those who work with victims, in putting together A survivor speaks out at last MY NAME is Rayne and I am a 27 year old survivor of abuse, Up until just a couple of years ago, I did not know that the abuse I had been receiving for 23 years of my life was not my fault, Never did I ask my step-father, father, men in relation ships, and ex-spouse to hurt me, beat me, or rape me — filling my self-being with shame, degradation and pain. Abuse that has scared my mind forever. Things are not always easy, and the truth is, it has taken many hours ta come to terms with the fact that the abuse was not my fault in any way, shape or form. However, I have grasped the reality of this now, and the upbringing of my children will now be a happy and joyous affair, My children know that abuse is wrong in any form, this sets my mind at rest, in the knowledge that they will not put up with any type of abuse. I still have some way to go before I am truly in front of this past; however, 1 now know that ] never deserved all the beatings, verbal and sexual abuse. Going back a few years I believed it was by fault — the reason for that being that I had been made to believe it was by the brainwashing I received in my upbringing. When I was growing up there was no one telling me otherwise, to the reality of my life. Now though, I live a life without the abuse and fear that I once had, and my children are safe, I want to tell victims of abuse that at any age, male or fe- male, there is hope, and help at hand, you are not alone. 1 know the fear you experience, for it was once my own. Do not give in or give up, find that power with yourself and take the moment for freedom, you will not regret it I know [ have still a ways to go before I am at total ease. Life for me now is a happy thing, with enjoyment and love. ] now feel like a real person, and I am happy that my children are happy. I found my moment, my chance for freedom from the tyranny of abuse, and J took it — this is a decision that I will never regret, I live a real life now. ] had to learn a few things, but now J make all my own choices, and move free- ly through my days. It was my choice that saved me from continuous abuse, and I believe that decision’ saved tlie’ ° lives “of myself and’ ‘my =. Wotiderful' “‘childret” Victims, you are not alone. ' oo : All races, ages, touched by abuse VIOLENCE spans the globe and sceps into every crack and crevice of humanity. And one type of violence which affects us all is abuse. Abuse is wrongful. It’s about using power im- RCMP Emergency properly or injuriously salis- # 635-4911. fying one’s own vicious tendencies. Abuse holds no prejudice. Neither creed nor colour ef- fect the reality of this violence. Gender does not draw its line. Chances are that all types of abuse occur somewhere, on every sec- ond, of every day — day in, day out. The many types of abuse include: A Physical abuse — in cluding punching, kicking, slapping, pinching and hair pulling. A Psychological abuse — abusive language, threats, bullying, immoralities and browbeating. A Sexual abuse — rape, unwanted penetrative sex, touching, and other forced and unwanted sexual acts, or even withholding sex. A Enmotional/Verbal abuse — dishonorable name call- ing, oral libel, disgraceful turned away. Fax: 635-6844, Fax: 635-2315 people or families. Fax: 638-7656 Fax 638-1144 slander, degradation and sions can be arranged. emotional © blackmail. Telephone # 638-7429 A Abuse by neglect — the Fax 638-7448 blatant apathetic disregard of a persons’ need for food and sheller, to with hold a persons human rights. as a whole, A Economle abuse — to _ Telephone # 638-2125 control a person by means Fax 638-2130 of money and/or property, limiting a person to the penny, not allowing a per- - son fo acquire funds by their ‘own merit. “Violence behind closed doors tends to take one of four guises, which in turn "can be broken down into the -many of the types of abuse that exist: i) spousal abuse fi) child abuse iii) parent [ abuse iv) elder abuse. abuse. of human rights. ‘Phone numbers Terrace Transition House: Free safehouse, help and assistance for any victim of abuse, nobody is 24 hr crisis tine: 635-6447 Child support worker: 635-7018 Battered Women ilne: a 24 hr hotline for the as- sistance of abused women. Telephone # 1-800-563-0808. Terrace sexual assault centre: to provide essen- tial help in alt areas of need. Telephone # 635-1911 Terrace Emergency shelter: Shelter for single Telephone # 635-5890 Womans Resource Centre: One huge fountain of halp and useful information for women, Telephone # 638-0223 Crime prevention/Victim Services: Services run by the RCMP to educate with facts, group ses- Crown Counsel Victim/Witness Services: The lawyers that represent the Crown, that is, society. Ksan House Counsellors service: One on one counselling for victims or survivors of any type of Telephone # 635-2373 (days) 635-1911 (evenings) Human Rights: To defend and uphold the basis Telephone # 638-6525 “The violence that occurs © with these types of abuse typically follows a trend. Its known, as, the cycle of violence or abuse. A violent event is fol- lowed by apologies, then statements of love, until ten- sions start to build again. And then it starts all over. So who’s to blame in these violent cycles? Statistics show that men who come from a violent upbringing are more likely ta be violent and abusive in their adult relationships, Women who witnessed spousal abuse as a child are more likely to slay with the , pains of a violent adult rela- tionship. And men and women who come from abusive homes are more likely to raise their children in the same way. Then the cycle of abuse starts again in the next gen- eration. Laws have been wrilten to try and break this cycle, Section 265 of the criminal code says that 110 one human being has the right to abuse another bu- . man being. That’s because ’ there is no action punishable by abuse or violent acts, If you are a victim of abuse, you are not alone. If you are a victim of abuse, you. do not deserve the abuse, not for any reason. If you are a victim of abuse, you have it in your capabil- ity to put closure to this stage in your life. If you are a victim of abuse, - you have thousands of dedi- cated people within Canada to see that you are not abused again. If you are a victim of abuse — you deserve to be happy and un- . hurt. Basic human rights — no one deserves abuse. You have friends that you do not even know yet, wait- ing to meet you, to stand by you. In Terrace there are many goverment and non- goverment organizations at your beck and call. These groups of dedicated people are able to offer you safety, shelter, food and clothing, support, advocacy (legal, medical, financial), referrals to local services, and much, much mote. There are safe places for you to go. If you know of anybody being abused, bdefriend them, listen to them, support them and encourage them; empower them. If you are a witness lo any violent crime, if your neigh- bour is being assaulted, please phone the police. “The RCMP treat family © violence on the whole as an important issue to deal with,’ says Inspector Steve Leach. '‘The police deal with these issues with a zero tolerence. When the police attend at a residence where there is evidence of family violence, we must ap- prehend and lay charges against the per- petrator/suspect. “T think that the thing I should tell victims of abuse or violence, is that they are part of the solution. It is im- perative that they are in the position to provide evidence in order to prove the charge,’ Leach adds. “Police can not lay a charge unless there is evidence and/or the victim is prepared to give a statement. “We need for the co- operation between the com- munity, the police, and the victims of these crimes — to work together and to deal with these issues.’’ Debbie Scarborough, co- ordinator of the Terrace Transition House, shares those sentiments. “I feel that everyone should be aware, and stay aware, of what abuse is. People should take the re- sponsibility to educate others as 1o what abuse is. “T believe that all of us must hold the philosophy of. equality and respect that no one has the right to abuse another human being.” The Terrace Transition House is non-profit and have a very tight budget. Donations of . household goods, clothes or food, are greatly appreciated. CORRESPONDENCE FOR THE TERRACE STANDARD The Mail Bag Don’t applaud killing Dear Sir: On the 14th of August, my friend Daniel James Fagan, died. He was murdered. ; I've read some harsh words about him in the Province newspaper, and heard harsh words from people ] know. My friend was an addict in denial, and some condemn him for that. But he was also a caring, thoughtful person, who often tried to break the grip of addiction, and failed. There are many addictions in our society, some more acceptable than others. The bingo halls are full of addicted gamblers, the bars full of alcoholics, the tobacco companies depend on the smoker's addiction, and some simply stuff themselves full of sweets until they die of heart problems. But as a society, we would be horrified if someone starting shooting Bingo addicts as they departed the bingo hall, No one would say “‘They deserved that!’’. Even though the money they threw away might deprive their children of needed clothes and food. Daniel, like most addicts, learned his behaviour from others, while still young and inexperienced. He was ad- dicted before he realized the full consequences of its use. We should feel sorrow for Daniel, and anger at the per- son or persons who killed. No one has the right to take another’s life. Perhaps Daniel is in a happier place, and perhaps be will receive the understanding and forgiveness that society here failed to give. Perhaps the killer will not find the same forgiveness here in court, or in the afterlife. Name withheld Editorial unfair — Premier Dear Sir: The editorial ‘‘Hello, Premier’? which appeared in your August 6 issue, is truly unfair to northwest communities affected by the difficulties Skeena Cellulose has been ex- periencing. The editorial discredits the dedicated efforts of all parties involved in trying to resolve the company's dif- ficulties, and raises undue concern for those affected by the closure of Skcena Cellulose by suggesting no action is being taken by my government, When Skeena Cellulose Inc. applied for and received protection from creditors in March under the Companies Creditors’ Arrangement Act, I asked the Deputy Premier, Dan Miller, and MLA Helmut Giesbrecht to take on this issue. As MLAs for the region, they are well aware of the situation and the importance of Skeena Cellulose to the communities involved, Over the last few months our government, following the recommendations of the Deputy Premier and MLA Giesbrecht, has undertaken a number of initiatives to maintain the operations of Skeena Cellulose by providing for or facilitating the following: wi $15 million interim bridge financing for contractors from Forest Renewal BC; Credit relief for local forest-sector small businesses; @ Assistance of the Job Protection Commission in restructuring the company; Wf Established a response team that went to the com- munities affected by the restructuring;’| ° 0 f/ "2 1s _+ Involvement of Northern Savings and Credit Union; @ Adjustments to the stumpage system in the Kalum and Kispiox forest districts and changes to the Forest Practices Code resulting in $20 million cost saving for the company; @ Independent consultant’s reports assessing the com- pany’s seven-year business plan. The Job Protection Commissioner and the Deputy Premier are continuing to work with Skeena Cellulose, the banks and other key stakeholders to develop a com- prehensive restructuring proposal which hopefully will lead to the reopening of all operations and enable Skeena Cellulose to become viable for the long term, I know how important Skeena Cellulose is to the readers and subscribers of The Terrace Standard, and in- deed io the communities of the northwest, and I can un- derstand there is some impatience, That is why this issue is a top priority for me, and Iam committed td achieving a positive outcome for everyone involved. Premier Glen Clark Victoria, B.C. Fishing fee hikes justified Dear Sir: Tam writing to you on the subject of angling fees and more specifically in response to the article you published in your July 9, 1997 paper titled ‘Fishing fee uproar was anticipated.” One of this government's top priorities is to ensure that our natural resources — including fish —- are conserved. As the minister responsible for the environment, I ask ministry staff to provide me with options on how we can most effectively meet our conservailon objectives. To clarify for your readers, decisions made regarding fees are made by cabinet — not ministry slaff. Other de- cisions are made by me — the minister. The decision to raise angling fees was based on a wide variety of information, including feedback from those whose livelihoods depend on fish, While 1 believe the fee increases were appropriate given the value of the resource, I also heard and acted upon the concerns of the commercial sports fishing community regarding timing, Asa tesult, we agreed to hold off on some of the fee in- creases for one year. Once fully implemented in 1998, the new angling fees } will still compare favourably to other jurisdictions for the quality of cxperience provided. British Columbia, without question, is one of the tup fishing destinations in the world, and our basic fees will remain competitive. Approximately 88 per cent of non-resident anglers buy a basic one-day, eight-day or annual angling licence, The new fees, after the increases, are very competitive with neighbouring juridictions. The prices for one week are lower in B.C. than in Washington and Oregon, 50.7 per cent of new fecs and 42,2 per cent of all an- gling fees will go directly to the Habitat Conservation Trust Fund for conservation projects such as the recently announced $320,000 River Guardian Program. The remainder of funding directed through general revenue is used to support a variety of conservation and enforcement programs such as the conservation officer service as well as fisheries initiatives such as stream restoration projects. , Conserving B.C.’s fish stocks for now and the future will continue to be a top priority for this government. Cathy McGregor Environment minister MORE LETTERS PAGE Ag.