ae a UA SS ALE Eie eS Le ng Pg os er os ae Beer

~Oh, you lucky women!

Arnold Mostowicz,.a Polish journalist, describes a remark-
able dream—that he was the chief speaker at a conference
on women’s rights. Here are some extracts of the speech

he dreamed he made.

N THIS GRAND occasion, I
\/ think it would be in order
< to recall that practically all.
inventions of importance have
been made, dear women, for
your: sake.

For this reason alone you
should be tremendously grateful

~~ . to us.

In this brief speech I can cite

_ only a few, but I am sure they

will be sufficient for you to see
that I am right.

Let us start with the washing-
machine. Who uses this? Nobody
but women, for men have no

_ use for washing-machines.

They make your life easier,

_ while we are indifferent to them.

The ‘same goes for refriger-
ators. What use would men have
for refrigerators?

The only one I can think of
is to cool a few bottles of beer,
and if the worst came to the
worst, cold water would do the
trick.
But you, dear friends, can cut
your shopping time by advance
_ planning of meals and storage of
foods. And the time saved you
can spend on doing something
useful, like using the washing-
. machine.

One might think that the elec-
tric razor was invented for men.
This is a great mistake.

_ Thanks to this invention, men-
shave oftener (even at week-
ends) and therefore their faces
are much less likely to scratch’
‘or be stubbly.

__ Who benefits from this? Obvi-
ously, only women.

Let us take another example
-—automation in industry. At
first sight this seems to mean
the same for everybody. But
nothing of the kind. :

The machine clicks away, and
the worker servicing it only has”
to check occasionally whether
everything is in order.

What will a man do mean-—
while? Have a cigarette, maybe,
or discuss the weekend football.

TRAVEL

But a woman will have time
to darn the socks, sew buttons
on your shirt, even. knit your
sweater. :

Or if she has nothing urgent
like that to do, she can talk over
a recipe for a cake or something
with a friend. In short, she is
the one who benefits from auto-
mation. —

Now there is air travel. One
might think it was invented
equally for men and women,
but this is a fallacy.

Who takes planes most often?
Men, of course. But who bene-
fits?) Why women, of course.

Thanks to air travel, your hus-
bands can bring home poetic
and colorful stories instead of
the same old ones about the
office or last week’s bonus or his
war service.

Hence, thanks to your hus-
band’s travels, all the wonders
of the world become known to
you. :

Take space flight. Despite the
fact that, with the exception of
Valentina Tereshkova, only men
have been flying round the globe,
ask Valentina herself what she”
thinks.

She will tell you why space
flight mainly concerns women.

_ It is because they are bring-
ing closer the time when you
won’t have to do your husband’s
shirts or listen to his stories or

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You will have the exclusive
opportunity of having some time
to yourself.

As I reached this point in my
speech (writes Arnold Mosto-
wicz) I woke up, or to be exact
my wife woke me as she always
does.

While getting my breakfast,
she kept eyeing me_ rather
strangely.

“Nothing wrong, is there,
dear?” I asked, putting on my
overcoat.

“No, nothing special. It’s my
birthday tomorrow.”

I kissed her and said, “Of
course I wouldn’t forget that,

darling,’ but even then she was .

frowning.

“Couldn’t we go to the mo-
vies or a restaurant?” she sug-
gested. - ;

(It would have to be the day
I had arranged with Harry and
Bill to celebrate their bonus) .

“It’s absolutely -impossible to-
morrow, darling — I’ve got to
attend a very important confer-
ence of the board of our House
of Culture.

“You must understand I can’t
miss that—we’ll go next week.”

She looked disappointed and
went back to her work. She was
making cakes and biscuits, using-
the gas oven (another invention
made exclusively for women).

I went out, feeling very cheer-
ful. Fortunately not everything
un my dream corresponaed to
reality.

At least one invention had
been made specifically for men
—conferences and meetings.

Help Wanted: =

reality?

them: sometime, somehow.

J. S$. Wallace

~ I remember well what you wore last night
You wore it with such grace
Not only your stance but your scent
But I can’t remember your face

(1) Around 1895 at a newspaper dinner a a,
offered to “The free and independent press.” An ©
John Swindon, responded: What nonsense.
I know there is no such thing. We are the tools of the
who pull the strings from behind the scenes . .
gist of what he said. Can anyone send me the exact W°

(2) In 1905 the Hon. Leslie é
the U.S., addressed a meeting of the Harvard Law Soc
He told them that the time was coming when men
‘hundreds of thousands would be forced out of the facto!
because the laborer is not paid enough to buy back
he preduced. To solve the problem export markets
be sought but because other nations were in t
position, devastating wars would break out... -
honest summary but it is not good enough. It
Sinclair’s Cry for Justice. Has anyone a copy Lo
lost mine but the one lent me by A. A. MacLeod.
Probably with a little assistance from the RCMP).

~ (3) Around 1935 General Smedley Butler of the :
Marines told how he and his troops had landed in er
countries and fought various people: all to help ov
investments of the rich. His words were stronger
report of them. Do you know them?

Virgil Jordan was secretary of the American B
ciation, or a similar organization. In a speech
the United States was going to take over the world #.
the war, carving it up, starting with the British Emp
Again my memory is only a shadow of what he s4!

was right

You know

. that }

M. Shaw, Treasurer ©

he §
Tha
was in upte
2 ( nol 7

us

than ™

ankers AS

d He
he tol ‘aft

I said finally. But if you have any similar statemet
confessions or boasts—send them in and I’}] make ¥

That season's here again

MOWING THE LAWN — SAFEE

A S A LAWN mower user,
are you a safe driver?
Last year, of 70,000 power

lawn mower accidents which

occurred, 91 percent were
caused by human error.

With the simplest care and
attention, nearly all of these
accidents could have been
avoided. -

Do you clear your lawn of
sticks, stones, wire and debris
that could be thrown by the
blade? Do you stop the engine

~ whenever you leave the mower,

even for a moment? Are you
extra careful of your footing
on slopes or wet grass? Do
you always stop the engine and
disconnect spark wire before
checking or working on the
mower?

If so, you’re mowing a safe
path. But even so, there’s al-
ways another safety hint or
two that may spell the difference
between a 100 percent safety
record and a painful accident.

Always remember that power
lawnmowers, like all other
power tools, guns, tractors and
automobiles — are safe only
when they are handled with
full understanding and respect

FAST:

GROWING

for their operation and dangers.

To eliminate the danger and
get the most out of your power
mower, start with a thorough
knowledge of your controls.
Read the accompanying manual
carefully, and learn how to stop
the engine quickly in an emer-
gency. : SEE

Add fuel before starting the
engine, never when it is run-
ning. Disengage all blades and
drive clutches before starting
on units so equipped. Start the
engine carefully with feet well
away from the blades. Do not
operate the engine where car-
bon monoxide fumes can col-
lect. Check nuts, bolts and

ing with bare

May 22, 1964—PACIFIC TRIBUNE—

screws to be sure t
mower is in safe opel
dition.

Always keep your |
and pets a good, safe —
away from the running

Never cut grass bY
the mower towards ¥—
stop the engine before |
the mower across grav’
walks or roads. Be ©
careful when using. the
mower on slopes — ~.
turn over. eee

Do not allow minors
bors to operate you
without full instruction®
leave wind-up type § rf
charged position and ®
a plug-in mower in #
when the grass is We
overspeed your enginé
governor settings, for
speed is dangerous 4
ens mower life.

When mowing, wo f
tive and tight-fitting ©

don’t ask for trouble ©
feet © 4d!
wearing clothes that COU
ily catch in the mow®
keep guards and safe
in their proper places:

—From the RWDS f

ary

(4) Finally: Somewhere about 1940 a man nam