tt

pr mis os ts tte td td Pl mi

JOIN ONE OF OUR

SUIT CLUBS

- You may get a $:0 Suit
for $2 or $3

Drawing Takes Place Every
Saturday Night

Noel & Rock

Hazelton, B, C.
6

Age 6B Tig Alot Be, fn Beas Oa tt Pe |

ane

Crier

ACPI EY

THE PESSIMIST, |
r
OTHING to do but work,
Nothing to eat but food,
Nething ta wear but clothes
Tokeep one from going nuds.'

Nothing to breathe but air,
Quick as a Bash ‘tia gone.

Nowhere to fail but off,
Nowhere to stand but on.

Nothing to comb but hair,
Nowhere to sleep but in bed,

Nothing to weep but tears,
Nathing to bury but dead.

Nothing to sing but songs.
Ab, well, alas, alack! 4
Nowhere to go but aut, 3
Nowhers to come but back. %,
Nothing ta sea but sights,
Nothing to quench but thirst,
Nothing to have but what we've got.
Thus through lite we are cursed,

Nothing to strike bul o galt;
Everything moves that goes.

Royal 3
Soft Drinks

are made here --- "None better

made anywhere"

Try our Ginger Ale
Lemon Soda
Cream Soda

On Sale Everywhere

Royal Bottling Works

Hazelton, B. C.

ae SA aes coed

‘ Hotel Premier
t
t
i

;
i

Prince Rupert

It is the best place to
stay. European and
American plan. Electric
lights, hot and cold run-
ning . water on every
floor, No extra charge
for bath. os: os: os: 0s:

Rates: $1 to ry per day

Fred W. Henning, manager j

he a ed ots ated rt Ft a PT

Public Telephone

Hazelton
Two-Mile
Taylorville
Sealey

“HAZELTON OFFICE:

SLINGER & AYERDE

CIGAR STORE

A. Chisholm

General Hardware
Builders’ Material
Miners’ Supplies

{
!
Hazelton, ‘B. C.
)

Be ten en res te Pd Pt a

Mines and Mining |

Good Properties for sale — Cash or on
Bond

evelopment and —
Assessment Work.

Carr Brothers

Six Years In This District.

Hazelton, B. C.

. Nothing at all but common senge
Can ever withstand these woes.
~—Ben King. °

Third Person Wanted.

A gentleman met a young woman
formerly a servant in bis house and
gald to ber:

“Well, I thought you would have
been married before now."

“Ob, no, sor,” she said, “but there's
two waitin’.”

“Twot he exclaimed. “Why, you
don’t intend to marry two, do yout
Who are they?’

“Why,” she replied naively, “the two
that’s waitin’ is the priest an’ me, —St.
Louls Post-Dispatch,

His Condition Improving,
It was a case of the jlmjams.
“Ts he dangerously iil, doctor?” asked
the nurse, i
“Not now,” answered the doctor,
Straightening out his cuffs, “I have
strapped him securely to the bed, and
he echo move nelther band nor foot.
You can go In now and watch him
with perféct safety."—Chicago Trib«
une,

Tho Limit

One day a little boy of four was
haughty and was threatened by his
mother to be shut up in the henhouse
as a punishment.

“Very well, mother,” said the child;
“son can shut me in the henhouse if
you lika, but one thinorg I can tell you—
I won't lay you any eggs.” —New York
World.

Modern Businass.
Visitor—What do you call this—fire
drill? 7
Clerk—No. Mr. Bonds, president of
our concern, Just dtopped dead in bis
private office, and the boys are move
ing up into their new positions as
quickly as possible, so that no time
wil be loat.—Puck. .
}
i The Right Man. (7%

. Manager (whispering)—Reporter com:
ing up here to describe your diamonds
The Leading Lady—Geodness! Do
you think ke will sny they are as big
eas walnuts?”
Manager—Oh, yes, that is safe, He

be big ag hen eggs!’'—Exehunge.

Spreading Good Cheer. .

“Have you done anything to make
any one else happy today?”

“Yes, I'va confessed. to“the woman’
next door that the set of furs which
,wy husband gave me cost $10 Jeas than’
‘her husband paid for hers.”—Chicago
:Record-Herald.’

‘ They Look Alike.
"One should never judge by outward
appearances,” sald the motalizer.
“That's right!’ rejoined the demor-
alizer, “The coat of an honest man:
and that of a grafter may be cut from
the sume cloth.”—Chicago Newa, 1

Alas, Too Trust y
“Life with us is very uncertain,” re-'

The Coffee
House

7 g Where everything i is well
cooked and appetizing.

Our Pia, Cakes, ‘Cookies,
a _ Boughnats, Bread and: Buns, are
= the hest, :

- Biond Coffee. . There is none bets

ter’ ‘anywhere, oa

' Hazelton! Bakery. |

__ Sepia Hazelton Hotel

“Tey a pound oan of our Spetial 5

marked tha wise bird. “We fly high,

OrmermermerermarmaermrmarmarmerG today, and tomorrow we are roosting

on some Woman's hat,”

“Same with us," rejoined thd philo-
sophical codfish, “We are in the awim
today, and tomorrow we are cod liver
oll or codflah balls;"—Chicago News.

Comparative Maratity,

with ‘geotlemen.”

“Gee! What's the matter?"

“He held out q card when Wwe were
playlng poker last night." | -

“So did you.’

atole az ace,"—Cleyeland Leader.
Impertinence.

-“Tt Beema to me that the ten cent
tlgors we used to get were a great
‘den! better tinn the ates we get. now.
' “Hons somebody - been giving yow
‘one?’ Chicaga iecord-Heratd.

; Unromantis,.

4 stating romantle abont their wed
~ WNot a thiig. -Bha ean 260k, and te
: has 4 to .— Kansas City Journal, :

Fett e
wee

] separately coniined, ,

‘fa happy wedium?”

fa the chap who describes “hallatoned .

"John Peters isn’t fit to associate -

“But Lonly beld outa ulne snot. He} -

. Absentminded, — - qo
‘ ‘Wilte—Papa, there's bigcbiack' bag .

j eerlpts

hai, hork!, ‘The lark at heaven's |

DON'Ts.

Don’t make a sloppy mash. It.
brings bowel trouble, and the hens wu
bot relish the thio paste. .

Dou't keep more thon one male bid
to a small flock untess you have some
Warring cocks
kuock the egg record, oo

Don't forget that excliement In the
laying room creates room in the egg
basket,

Don't change teed suddenly. A new
ratlou fed point blank brings sorrow to
the chicken crank.

Don’t lose your temper when write
jug to 2 complaining customer, The
man with cool and level head seldom
regrets what be bas sald.

Don't join the pessimists. They are
a. cross of fool, fossil, knocker, btocker,
jerker ond shirker. With ell their
prophecy of ill the wheels of progress
splu round still,

Don’t expect eggs in cold wenther
if you do not house and feed your hens
properly. A frozen hep with bongry
look can't swell tha cash in your banlk-
book,

Don't breed pigeons in molting sea-
son. hey need all thelr blood for
feathers, Such squabs are worthless,

Don't be so foolish as to buy “paul-
try secrets." It’s a secret plan to rob
the poultryman,

Don't set the brooder on last yeara
location, and place it bigh and dry.

Iton't keep chicks long in the incu-
bator after Latch is over, and dust and
clean well before you start to hatch
another batch.

Non’t forget to calculate the number
of chicks you can just raise right,
hateh ’em, then blow out the Incubator
light.

Don't let Utter stand in the water
weasels and rot, Think of such drirk!

He Knew.

Young Lady—What do you recom-
mend for n brother?

Clerk—Lhat depends upon whether
he's your brother or some other girl's,

Young Indy blushes.

Clerk (watching her)—That being the
case, right this way, please.— Cleveland
Plain Dealer,

His Experience.

THE OMINECA MINER. SATURDAY, DECEMBER 9, 1911
ee —_

Ali Sunsets Are Not Alike.

Mr. and Mrs, Peterby were sitting”
on their piuzza, It was late after-
noon, and the sun was making his final
preparation to gild the western hear.
ens, Peterby sat in mute admiration.
“Did you ever ace such a superb .
sunset?" he exclaimed rapturously, “It
is simply wonderful—amazing!"

Mrs, Peterby did not join in his en-
thusiasm, She shifted unenally tn ber
cbair.

"You would think anything was

good,” she replied, “You've Just had a
good dinner, But it's just an ordinary
sunset, nothing mare.”
_“Where are you going?’ asked Peter-_
by. “Why can’t you sit still? Just
Hike a woman. No artistle apprecia-
lon.”

“I'll be back presently,”. replied Mra,
Peterby.

Four or five minutes passed, She
eane back and sat down, There waa
a silence.

“It fg beautiful,” whispered Mra,
Peterby. “Don't think 1 ever saw a,
finer sunset. See that exquisite .color-
ing off there, and those feather effects,
Perfectly lovely!"

- Peterby turned bis face slowly and
‘Enzed ot ber.

“What did you do in the house just
how?” be asked,

Mrs, Peterby’s face beamed,

“Why,” she replied, “the cook wag
golng to leave, but she told me abe
would stay afother month.”—Success:
Magazine, .

Inquiries,

Are “The Bunks of the Wabash"
guaranteed?

Do the “Two Little Girla In Bloe”™
know that their gowns are pasde?

How enn 1 ralse the mortgage on
“My Old Kentucky Home?”

Hag “The Old Qaken Bucket” been
sterilized?

Is “The Man Who Corrupted Fiad-
lepburgz” the same ona who “Broke.
the Bunk at Monte Carlo?”

Is “A Tramp Abroad” any more am:
bitioug than the specimens we see In
this country?

Is "The Good Old Sumner Time" go.
ing to last all winter?—Judge's Library,

The Heft of Theft.

“Your methods." sald the Indignant
official, “were sluply dighway rob-
bery.""~

“Again you wrong me,” answered the
sugar Importer. “They were low
welgh robbery,""—Ohlio State Journal.

An Early Recollection,
“But you badu't sald, you see, and
I couldn't be sure, | bad an idea that
lt might be temperance. If It's to be

"| funuy aud on your rise dud fail 1 can

‘| surely belp you.
- | Fears old the Hrst time l-saw you, and
- | you were caught on a rall fence by &
f Sliver.
‘| glest photograph tn the world, |

“Drery time I pick up o heirpin on :
the street l get a letter, I never knew
It to faki.”

“1 did. I pleked up one the other”
day and put it in my pocket, but t
didn’t get a letter.”

“You didn’t?”

“No, but my wife found it, and I got:
a lecture.” 4
sD
Fishy.

Mother—1f you have been to Sunday
schoo}, how is Lt that your banda smell

of fish? .

Johnnie—I—I guess it came from this
Sunday school paper, Yer see, Jonah
an’ th’ whale ore on th’ cover.—Spo- |
kane Spokesman-Revlew.

Justly Happy.
“Father,” said tittle ttotlo, “what oe

“I suppose, my son, that i Js one,
‘who can earu several bundred dollars'
a day-by waking tables and chain
move around the roor,”—Washington
‘Star. :

She Had a Past, . '
Bacon-—-What's that old yellow hen!
cackling so for? 1 understand , sho
hasn't Iald an egg ln & yeur!
Egbert—Lhat'’s right. She's living He!
the past!—Yonkera Statesman. \:

( Mollycoddles. q
Flrat Chauffeur—War {5 absurdly,
sentimental. ~ |
Second Chauffeur—Yes, they actually
go back and bury the dead.—Chicago
Tribune,

H ; His Status

“Well, my litte man’ inquired a,
visitor pleasantiy, “who are you?"

‘“?'m the baby's brother!’ was the iu
genuous reply.—Truth Seeker. § ;

—— j ;
A Sympathizer. \

- Willle—Had er serap vit! sls? Dat'\
nothin’, Why, I can’t get along with;
her myself half the tine.Cleveland
Reader,

t. !

A Literary Catastrophe,

“fear about Perking7 Pretty tought
‘No. — What?’

H “The peor fellow ‘dropped inte thy

‘vernacular, bumped against a- hart

word ond split his infinitive.”--Life. |.

\"
. Gaze, For Instance, on This One,
> Phe Ostrich—Don’t you: find it Dard

work to .plek up a ving. when the! a

weather ig like this?
The Kangaroo--Yes: keeps me onithe
lump. Chicago. Tribune =~ |
apr neneeliniees
of

on the ceiling...
Papa (busy reading)—-Well,istep on ik
vand don't bother.’ fue. Hoston Trans

Under Difficulties. |

: singe _—
Aa ete dodges an aeroplane, :

‘And the wireleul nidddeares rift ee
f ‘Whitebhe pours: forth: her :

You were twelve

You would have made the fun-

laughed for a whole week after.”
“Caught ona rail tence by a sliver!”
“In the country. Young nian, caught

on top rafl of fence by silver, is li |

grotesque positian, House, highway,
young lady In distance.”

“Madam, ia thia another insult?”
sternly demanded Mr, Howser. |

“And then 1 have all your old love
letters, and you can mate sone ex-
Iracts. They will convulse your audl-
ence with merriment. | was looking
them over yesterday, and 1 got to
| laughing so that’—

“Go on with your ingulta! Your time
Ja short!"

“And the bats and shoes you used to
wear a8 a young man. Every time &
see the word Lulu 1 think of you as
you wero in your tender days.
the poetry you wrote! You seut me
two poems a day for a wiiole year.
poems on my halr, eyes, chin and feet,
and every poein was u foot long. And
then when we gut together In. the
moonlight and you beld my Illy whlte
hand—oh, Mr, Bowser, you can ‘make
It funny, awfully funny!"

“Woman, hare you Gnisbed?- 1f 50
[ want'to tell you that the train tor
your wother's leares"—

. Struck For a Lean,

But there came a ripg at the bell.
Mr. ‘Bowser went down the ball aud
opened the door, and a wan staggered
in and leaned against the wail and
said in a silly way: ‘

’ “Bowsher, foo er Shakespeare club,
you know.”

“Yas, “a

“You goin’ to lecture f'r me.”

‘ODint

“Millon dollars a minit,”

“Um!”

“Lend me ten. I’m busted.”

Mr. Bowsm took the man by. the
erm avd led bim outdoors and dowa
the steps to the gate, ‘Then he beaded
him up the atreet and kicked him.
thrice and let bim go, and the "Hise

| and Vail” was iulahed forever. :

. Prepostercus,
Claney--Ol'm after o ticket -ter. Onl-
CaEO, :
Ticket Agent—Do you wont an ex-
cursion ticket, one thet will take you.

there and buck?

Clatey—Phat's the sinse of me payin’
ter go thera an’ back wihin Ol'm here
alriddy?—Hotel Register.

His Riso and Fall. ~

“My husband was a very high strung
jperson.!”

"Yes! I've heard he was. hung op
‘Pike's penk,”—Leslie’s Weekly. —

They Grow Better.
. “Ob, beautiful are little girls
. .. And goodly to tha aight!" ‘
“ - So John &, Saxo wrole years aga
And John qa. Baxe waa right — ;

"+ Quite beautiful are tittle inte -
{ And pleasing ta the view. -
:4 Their rosy cheeks ahd clustering court

an

i Ike to eO.. Don't yout.
Yas; beautiful are: itite girls,

Ce ee ag,
re prettier :
a pomeryille Journal

eer

And yet the dullest prig - ce :

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"The Miner

Print Shop —

It Is the Home of

Look for the Sign -

Oppoilte Government Office

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