Christmas pressure leads to abuse Home is where the hurt By CRIS LEYKAUF IF BEING abused is the price for keeping the family together at Christmas, some women are willing to pay it, The number of women fleeing to the Terrace Transition House to escape abuse increases as the stress of preparing for Christmas builds. But those numbers drop right off during the holi- days. Typically the transi- tion house is empty on Christmas day, though one staff member remains, just in case, In January and February, as Christmas bills start com- ing in, the number of women coming to the shelter climbs. “Most women want to try and keep the family together at Christmas,’’ said transi- tion house coordinator Deb- bie Scarborough. The transition house has been open in Terrace since the 1970s. It provides a safe place for women and chil- dren to stay, usually up to a month, They can come from all over the country, though most are from the sorth- west. Last year there was one women who stayed at the shelter on Christmas Eve. But she opted to spend Christmas and the holidays with her family, Two other women sought refuge on Jan, 1, Then for the next week the shelter was empty. “Stresses are high before Christmas because of all the commercialism,’’ said Scar- borough. ‘“‘People feel in- adequate if they can’t supp- ly their children or partners with presents.” That stress is felt by both men and women, Add to that the freely flowing al- cohol which accompanies the start of the holiday sea- son, and it’s a dangerous combination. “Women opt to stay here to avoid the violence,’’ said Scarborough. Som ZR 600 A BIT OF CHRISTMAS CHEER. Debbie Scar- borough sets up a small Christmas tree at the Ter- race Transition House. The house is a refuge for women and children fleeing abuse, so staff try to it RS make it as home-like as possible. However, the house is usually empty on the holidays, since women try to keep their families together at that time. Traffic increases after Christmas when the bills come In. How do staff at the transi- ‘tion house respond to the women they see fleeing this pre-season stress? “We validate their feel- ings,’ said Scarborough. And for moms who are feel- ing pressured to buy gifts, staff tell them that support and love for their children are more important than buying gifts. If buying children gifts is the woman's top priority, then staff respect that, she added. ‘“We’re supportive. We brainstorm on what her options may be. When you’re at an all time iow you can’t even think what your options are,’’ As for the abuse, Scar- borough says women have a tendency is to minimize it, Women tell her ‘‘it’s only when he drinks...’? So Scar- borough and the other staff ty to educate women on what abuse is, whether its physical, emotional, sexual or even financial. Staff at the transition house don't tell women to leave their partners, or for placed on hope and on new beginnings during the holi- days, said Scarborough. With the new year comes the promise of new begin- nings. And there’s pressure on women to try again. “Stresses are high before Christmas be- cause of ail the commercialism,” says transition house worker Debble Scar- borough. “People feel inadequate If they can’t supply their children or partners with presents,” that matter tell them they have to do anything. Women who've been abused need to gain back control by making their own decisions. Christmas is a hard time to try and get that control. There’s a big emphasis i? 2) sap ws co eg JAG 340 During the slow time at the transition house, staff manages to keep busy, said Scarborough. They catch up on the latest violence litera- ture and videos. Then in January and Feb- mary, the post-Christmas reelity sets in. “All the cheery time is over and we're back to reality — bills and pains,” said Scarborough. ‘“Women tried to make Christmas good. They walked on ice and it stil] didn’t work — their partner hasn’t stopped abusing them.” Over the last few years the numbers of women and chil- dren using the transition house as a place of refuge have been climbing. In 1995, 281 sheltered there. In 1996, those numbers were up to 314, And this year’s total will be above last year, says Scarborough. That’s despite a new transition house in Kitimat, which has been open justa year. Staff at the Terrace Transition House can be reached 24 hours a day by calling 635-6447, The Terrace Standard, Wednesday, December 17, 1997 - A3 Your Christmas donation guide HERE ARE some ways to help out this Christmas. kkkkk The Salvation Army hands out hampers containing all the fixings for a Christmas dinner and toys. Donations of non-perishable goodies for hampers are always appreciated. If the food isn’1 used at Christmas, it will be banded out ai the January food bank. kkkkk If you'd like to contribute a gift to those Salvation Amy hampers, you can drop one off at the Skeena Broadcasters office, the corner of Lazelle and Emerson. The Salvation Army is looking for gifts for chil- dren ranging from newborn to about 16 years old. Toys and gifts should be new and unwrapped. Particularly in demand are gifts for teenagers. Some ideas for teens are games, thick sweatshirts, bath gift sets for girls, fleece outerwear like gloves and vests, kh kkk The Terrace Anti-Poverty Group is delivering toys for children again this year. Anti-Poverty has teamed up with KMart and the Ter- race Co-op. Both stores put up trees decorated with lags that list a child’s age, first name and gender. Terrace Anti-Poverty is now combing through the ap- plications it received and is matching them with the donations. For people who'd like to buy gifts, Dec. 19 is the cut- off date to get those gifts back to the trees. Or they can be dropped off at the group’s new offices, at #6, 4717 Lakelse, next to Video Update, in the Gobind Mall. The staff at Terrace Anti-Poverty is also trying to make this Christmas a bil of a cheerier one for parents by including small gifts for adulls. Those gifts can be dropped off at the group’s offices this week. kaikki Other local organizations are looking for donations. The Terrace Child Development Centre’s Tree of Lights is now lighting up the Skeena Mall. This is the centre’s 11th Tree of Lights. The money goes to help the centre deliver programs for special needs children. The centre offers therapy, education and support. It also sponsors prenatal programs to ex- pectant mothers, Costs are from $2-$50 for individuals and $10-$100 for businesses. tka kk Local charities also appreciate donations of time. Terrace Anti-Poverty is looking for volunteers to help wrap donations of Christmas gifts and to deliver them. The Salvation Army is looking for people to help aut with its Red Kettle appeal. All that’s required is the ability to ring a bell and to thank people. To volunteer call the Volunteer Bureau at 638-1330, or Christine at the Salvation Army thrift store, The Volunteer Bureau is looking for people to help older people and disabled persons with minor winteriz- ing projects such as sealing windows against winter drafts. Volunteer snow shovelers are also necded to clear snow for seniors. * 599cc Case-reed liquid-cooled engine * FasTrack Long-Travel rear suspension with torque sensing link and extra travel tunnel. * 339cc can-cooled engine * AWS V front suspension * FasTrack Long-Travel suspension * Standard electric start and purple hocd on DLX ' Draws will be hald each Friday until Friday, December 19. Entries are avaliable from any cashier in any department at the Terrace CO-OP. Enter Often! Photo Not Available rear Photo Not Available Dec. 12 Winners $100 Michael Moleski Rebecca Collins Henry Holleufer Ursula Radocay Bill Keenleyside $250 Nov. 28 Winners Dec. 5 Winners Brenda Quinn $100 Shally Friesqn Jackie Collier Ted Wyatr Jacob McKay Jean Essensa Pater Zvatora Frank Lanary Conchita McCauley Doninie Gagnon $250 Peter Leeson Dorothy Hippisley David Cabbs Larry Brealey Brought to you by Terrace CO-OP & Terrace CO-OP Builders And These Co- ‘ae a tee tee. POWDER SPECIAL * 599cc Case-reed liquid-cooled engine « 37” Ski Stance » 2” deep lug track « Snow West Magazines Sled of the Year Dec 19 5 winners of a $100 Gift Certificate each, 1 winner of $1000- CASH PANTHER 550 * 550ce liquid-cooled engine ' « FasTrack Long-Travel rear suspension with fibreglass overload springs BEARCAT WIDETRACK * 550cc liquid-cooled engine « 20” X 156” Track Whatever yout preference ne CAT Neid Enterprises hi has the night s sled for youl What Snowmbilings All About? 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