The Terrace Standard, Wednesday, April 12, 1995 - Bt

‘INSIDE
“COMMUNITY
EVENTS B2

ON THE STREET.
STEPHANIE WIEBE

Banks run by
carrots and beeis

WAS WIDOWED last year.

If you’ve never suffered the

premature, sudden death of a

spouse — and | sincerely hope

you haven't — you can’t imagine what it does
toa person.

Well, maybe you can. But, like childbirth

and root canals, the difference between im-

agining the event and /tving It Is like the dif- '

ference between sceing an earthquake movie
and feeling the ground actually shift bencath
your own fect, .

Regardless, it happened to me. Afterwards,
one of the more mundane details I had to deal
with was paperwork, most notably bank
papers.

There are three credit lines involved here,
’ My husband was a great belicver in credit,
though his financial ideal was merely to have
credit, not to actually use it, the way some
people keep fine china locked in a glass cabi-
nel.

The agenda was fairly straightforward. I was
to notify the companies about my husband’s
death, and thoy were to cancel or transfer the
' eredit accordingly. -~

In that process, I uncovered a shocking
secret. All the evidence clearly points to the
possibility that our country’s major financial
institutions are being run by vegetables.

Yep, that’s what I said: vegetables, Brussel
sprouts and breceoli, The fact is, your pre-
cious credit and careful invesiments are in the
hands of plant-life dressed in three-piece suits.

Now, the people at your own neighbourhood
bank may seem perfectly competent and effi-
cient, and I believe they are. But their profes-
sional cousins, the ones sitting in head offices
back cas!, more closely resemble botanical
life-forms set much lower on the food chain:
Something akin to a turnip in basic skills and
sensitivity.

The fact Is, your precious

credit and careful investments

are in the hands of plant-life
dressed in three-piece sults.

How did I find this out, you ask? Well, I

spoke wilh them on the phone, 1 wrote letters.

and they replied. I filled out forms. _

Here is how the three banks took the news
of a credit-holder’s death. Bank #1 immedi-
- ately froze the account (which was joint, by
the way), and withdrew all available credit
from the surviving bolder (me). Two phone

calls and one death certificate later, the ac-

count was closed.
Perfectly simple. Simple, that is, until
. several months later when they sent my late
husband official notice that his credit limit
was being raised. See? Vegetables. Utter veg-
elables,
Bank #2 was slightly more confused. It took:
two phone calls, a letter, and a death certifi-.
.cale to get the message across. Then, the

tumip on the other end of the phone told me -

that my husband’s access ta that credit line
would be ‘blocked’,

_ “Blocked?” 1 repeated, struggling to wnder-
stand how this term could be applied to the
situation.

Yes, his access to the credit line will be
blocked,” she replied, just to clarify the mat-
ter for me.

A moment of silence before I gathered the
Nerve to respond,

“Well, if he shows up and tries to use that
credit line, please let me know.’' Veggies, I
tell you -- carrots, asparagus, and acorn
squash.

To my great relief, bank #3 was most
sensible and efficient. A phone call, a letter
and a dealh certificate quickly settled the mat-
ter, Then the company vegetalion sent my late -
husband a letler to personally inform him that
“his credit line was closed, and furthermore,
“the bank looked forward to serving him in the
future, ‘‘should his financlal needs change.’

Cabbage and beets. You read it here first.

Green eggs,

THE GOOSE which lays the
golden egg of the 1990s isn't a
goose, and the ege is green, not
golden. But that egg is definitely
worth its weight in gold,

Emu eggs are worth an asion-
ishing $400-$500 each in British
Columbia, says Terrace emu
farmer Alan Webber. And tasty
omelets have nothing to do with
that figure.

When they reach three months
of age, a pair of emus can sell for
up to $3,600. A pair of three-year

old proven breeders retails from ,

$15,000 to $36,000.

A foolish flight of fancy? Not
quite. But why are people willing
to spend so much money for a
six-foot, .feathered, flightless
bird?

From all appearances, emus
look to be the cash crop of the fu-
ture. ;

“Emus are the fastest growing
agricultural business in Canada
and B.C,,"” says Scott Sager,
president of the Canadian Emu
Association.

The number of emu farms in
B.C. has grown from three to
over 40 in the last three years.
There’s even an cmu conference
and auction in Chilliwack, early
next month.

But it
tendency to idly snap at fingers,

which endears them to B.C, farm- -

ers.

Emu meat and byproducts can .

make a farmer weallhy. Emu
meat is a low fat, law cholesterol,
high protein alternative to beef.
Emu farmers gel approximately
$7/lb live weight for meat birds.
For a 14 month bird, the typical
age for slaughter, that works out
to approximately $800-$1,000,
says Webber,

isn’t their friendly

greenbacks

B.C. emu farmers must send

their birds out of province to be
slaughtered, but that situation,
could be changing soon. There.

are plans afoot to build an emu
slaughter house in the southern
half of the province, and Alberta
is looking at options as tell.

The industry would have to

grow substattially though, be-.

cause a slaughter house would
need to process 150,000 to
200,000 birds a year to be
profitable, says Webber.

Emu byproducts aré also valu-
able. Their leather is used for
purses, wallets, jackets, cowboy
boots and many other products.
And emu oil, garnered from a
layer of fat on the bird's back, has
an astonishing range of uses. It
has been used in conditioners,
shampoos, eye cream, lip balm,
body lation, and is said to relieve
muscular aches and joint pain.

So, with emus polsed
to peck thelr way into
North American
markets, will cows be
cast aside?

Even their eggs shells are valu-

able. The shell is a beautiful,
lightly spackled hunter green,
with the hint of the blue enamel
layer undemeath. It looks very
similar to a tough, shiny arborite
counter-top. Artists use dentist
drills to remiove Jayers of enamel
on the egg to design pictures.

So, with emus poised to peck
their way Into North American
. markets, will cows be cast aside?
Not necessarily. There are

ABIRD IN THE HAND — Two of these baby emus will be warth
about $3000 in three months’ time. This fellow is just a week old.

Theatre to burn tomorrow night

LEAVE YOUR MATCHES at
home if you plan to attend
tomorrow’s apening of
Firebugs, Daniel Baraswell’s
latest production. The atmo-
sphere at the Terrace Little
Theatre is a bit combustible
these days.

Firebugs is an unusual play
with a surreal quality, set in no
particular time or place. It can
be best summed up as ‘‘a live-
ly look at arson,”’ according to
producer Betty Barton.

Gottlieb) Beidermann, the
play’s wealthy main character,
has invited two firebugs into
his ho:ne.

““You can describe him as
naively optimistic,’’ says Rus-
sell Sangster, who plays one
of the firebugs. “‘He refuses to
believe he is in imminent

“danger.”

Sangster won best actor at

the Skeena Zone Drama Festi--

val for his role in Firebugs.

Barnswell also received a
special merit award at the fes-
lival for the directorial chal-
lenge the play presented.

**Firebugs is one of the most
difficult plays to do in terms
of the approach a director can
take with it,’ says Sangster.
“It’s not a straightforward

play. Lid .

“The audience can look at it
very superficially, or they can
go deeper and look at the sym-
holism and class struggle,”
says Barton.

The play boasts a large cast
for a local production -— 15
actors in total. Jim Branch
plays the part of Beidermann,
with Catherine Croucher as his
wife Babette. Glenys George
is the other firebug and Anne
Silsbie plays Anna, the maid.
The remaining actors make up
the chorus of volunteer
firefighters, who act as the
guardians of the city.

Firebugs opens Apri! 13 at
the Terrace Little Theatre,
Tickets are $12 at Carter's
Jewellers, A wine and cheese
party with the actors will fol-
low the play on opening night.

' See City Scene for a complete
list of dates and times.

—

SECTIONE
CRIS LEYKAUF —_
638-7283 |

CAMERA SHY — Alan Webber, a Terrace emu farmer, with the
proud mama, She had 13 eggs in this first breeding year.

definite disadvantages to emu
farming.

Emus must be kept indoors in
the winter, since Australia is their
natural stomping grounds. If they
happen to escape from their pens,
say goodbye, because they can

run at speeds of 45 mph. Emus

also require substantially more
watching over than cows during
hatching season.

When the females statt laying,
they produce an egg every three’ *

days, as long as the farmer is
there to remove the eggs.

On the upside, a proven breeder
can Jay 20-50 eggs in one year,
compared to one or two calves
per cow, Those numbers look
even better, when you consider
emus lay their “golden’’ eggs for
30 to 35 years.

In the wilds of Australia, emus
lay an average about 8-10 eggs a
year, And it’s the males (for a
change) who watch over the eggs,
keep them warm, and take the
parenting role.

In captivity, the eggs are kept

wamrm. in special incubators, with
regulated heat and humidity, and

take 50 days to hatch. At three
months of age males and females
are paired up.

“But it’s very difficult - to
determine the sexes of young
birds,” says Webber, ‘‘At that
age, their blood must be. sent
away for DNA sampling to pin-
point the sex.’

Webber’s female emu has pro-
duced 13 viable eggs already this

_ year, her first year as a mom,

The first chicks have already

: hatched, and two striped baby
t "emus have adopted Webber as a
‘surrogate ‘father, following him ~
around their indoor pen, making
peeping noises.

‘Fatherhood agrees with Web-
ber. He plans to invest in a few
more emu breeding pairs, so he

_ean then sell young male/female
pairs.

So far, Webber is Terrace’s
only emu entrepreneur, but the.
birds are quickly growing in
popularity in the northwest.

Just remember to watch your
fingers when you see large |
ostrich-like birds in your neigh-
bour’s back yard.

1 SPIT IN YOUR CUP — Anna, the mald In TLT's new play

Firabugs, spits in the wine

glass of her employer, . Mr.

Baldermann, The new play is full of surprises for audiences.

eT

Samy ee geet po ane pom an