PAGE 2, THE TOWNSMAN, Thursday, September 1, 1977

Bill Smiley:

The boys
came.

THIS is being written from a
hospital bed, where [| am in

traction and under heavy

sedation. Don’t worry. I
wasn’t in a-car crash. I just
had a five-day visit from by
grandboys.

It seems that my daughter
was moving and it was going
' to be awfully difficult with
the boys underfoot and it was
a great chance for Gran and
Grandad to really have a
good visit with their favorite
people untrammeted by the
interventions of parents.

What can you say?
“Sorry, but we like to play
golf in the afternoon, spend a
quiet evening, and get up
when we feel like ix in the
morning, during holidays"?

Of course you can't. You
burble someting like: ‘No
problem, dear. We'd love to
have them. I'll be a real
treat.”’ And then you hang
up the phone, look at your
better half, and mutter
mournfully, ‘Good Gawd,
-the kids are coming.””

They came, they saw, they
conquered, And that’s why
I'm writing from hospital,
As soon as I get ont of
traction, they're moving me,
permanently, to a place
called Autumn Daze, a home
for chronic grandfathers to
eke out their last few months,
exchanging senile horror
stories about grandchildren.

Oh well, it may not be so
bad. My wife says she'll
come and visit me regularly,

seasons. That means once in
March and once dn
November. She promised to
bring me a drink on each

occasion, because my nerves -

ate shot to hell, too, But
that’s a long time between
mickeys.

It isn’t that my grandsons
are bad kids, They’re not.
It's just that they are three
and a half and one and a half
years old, and their favorite
sport, indoors and out, is
tormenting the tiving
daylights out of each other,

First few days weren’t bad
The Old Lady has a way with
them. She can change a
diaper on one and carry on
an incredibly complicated
conversation with the other
without getting a hair out of
place. She can sit at the
sewing machine, with one on
each knee, and actually sew,
as they try to poke their

fingers under the needle.

When she's cooking, she
plops them up on the counter
beside the stove, where the
older one asks 84 questions,
all beginning with ‘‘why,’*
‘and the litile one opens the
cupboard doors and bangs
his eye on them and shrieks.
During this period, my
role was 4 fairly passive one.
All 1 had to do was get them
their breakfast. Nothing to
that. 1 give them each a can
of yoghurt and half a

banana. For dessert, } opena.

can of peaches and get the ice
cream out.

It may not ‘be your.

standard, unimaginative,
cereal breakfast, but the boys
go for it and seem to thrive
onit.

/
—

and are in a great mood,

there's not much for me to °

do, Except ‘let them play
around, on, and over me,
break up eight fights over
whose ball or shovel it is, and
serve as a trampoline when
they line up at the far end o
the living room, run as hare
as they can, and hu:
themselves head-first int:
Grandad’s lap, almost it
variably knocking heads
together, with subsequent
recriminations, howling, and
both of them on my knees
being comforted.

But before you know it,

lunch is over and it's nap.

time. No, 2 goes down
happily with a botile. No. 1
requires six stories, If I read
the one about Flicka, Ricka

and Dicka one more time, I*il.

20 out of what is left of my
mind. .

Bui it works. He gets
groggy. Just as he’s drifting
off, No. 2 hurls the bottle out
of his crib, leaps up, rattles
the bars, yells for action and
both are wide awake ready
for More Fun And Games
With Grandad.

Afternoons in the
backyard are comparatively
peaceful, except for one
thing. For some misguided
reason, 1 have only one lawn
hose. Did you ever see two

boys with only one hose.

between them? Older is
stronger. He wrests hose
from Younger and squirts
him with ice-cold water.
Younger bellows, runs to
Grandad, soaking from head
to foot, and jumps up to be
loved and petted.

Older forgets hose and

é

has picked up hose and
gléefully squirts Grandad.

Grandad yells again,
unprintably, Younger drops
hose and runs, square into
square corner of picnic table.
Great welt on forehead. Gran
will be furious with Grandad
for not watching boys
properly, -

Those were the good days.

- Came Tuesday, and Gran

was committed to a golf
tournament. Dubiously.

‘“Afe you sure you can
cope?”

“Who me? Course ] can
cope, No sweat. I can handle
these two with one head tied
behind my back.’”

“Well, maybe... but...”

“Gawn, away wid yez.
It'll be child’s play.”

And it was. Six hours of it.

‘During which; eight fights,

were broken up: the boys ate
‘all four of the chicken legs:
I'd prepared for the three of

_
a seh

AUGUST 29 - SEPTEMBER 13
4621 LAKELSE

-

NO. 1

ACOs! Pe cx Famke wen! te
tt bat 3 ASD Weed 27 eT Se el
ee ee ee oe

us; we went shopping and I
Jost one for 60 panic-filled
seconds in the maze of the.
supermarket; the Younger
discovered how to unfasten
the buckle of the seat-belt;
the Older started yelling for
his Mommy when | smacked.
his ass for clobbering his
little brother with a ping
pong bat, which for some.
reason unknown to man or:
God, he had found behind
‘the car seat.

My daughter walked in
with a cheery “‘Hi, Dadl’’
and found me on the phone
trying to call the police-
department, the fire
department, anybody.

She looked at me, shook
her head, took the phone
from my shaking fingers,
and called an ambulance.

Sehr a EE EH PN 20090 MP COPS PE CoD BP 200 IW ce

' with

except during the golf, And then, of course, when starts to'climb gate. Grandad [4
skiing, fall and sewing they’ve finished breakfast  vells. Meantime, Younger =
2 3&6 4 9
SEATTLE TODAY 00 ROMPER ROOM. HERE'S LUCY
9:30 KAREENS YOOA PRICE 15 RIGHT .
WHEEL OF FORTUNE FRIENOLY GIANT iv) JEAN CANNEM SHOW
. MON AMI
ITS ANYBODY'S GUESS MR. DRESSUP 30 DEFINITION LOVE OF LIFE
SHOOT FOR THE STARS SESAME STREET FIRST IMPRESSIONS ‘YOUNG & THE RESTLESS
CHICO & THE MAN 30 | WoT. HANDS. SEARCH FOR TOMORROW
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES SUMMER ‘T] | * 60 NOON NEWS HOUR EYEWITNESS NEWS
DAYS OF OUR LIVES :30 NOVI: AS THE WORLD TURNS
‘WILD KINGDOM! 00 "The Bravecios”*
THE DOCTORS DEATH VALLEY DAYS 30 GUIDING LIGHT
ANOTHER WORLD ALL IN THE FAMILY 60 ALL IN THE FAMILY
EDGE OF NIGHT 30 ALAN HAMEL SHOW MATCH GAME
THE 3 O'CLOCK MOVIE TAKE THIRTY 3:00 DINAH!
~All the Way Hore’ CELEBRITY COOK 3:30 | ANOTHER WORLD
ITS YOUR CHOICE 4:00 SEASAME STREET
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NEWSERVICE ROOM 272 §:30 ELECTRIC COMPANY
NBC MIGHTLY NEWS NEWS . 6:00 NEWS 700m
= __ SHOWCASE “77 5:30 ONGE UPON A CLASSIC
SEATTLE TONIGHT, “The Things | Never Spict” 7:00 | GRAND OLD COUNTRY THE MACNEIL LEHRER
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MATCH GAME PML 7:30 =] FISH WODEHOUSE PLAYHOUSE
COMEDY TIME BARNEY MILLER 8:00 CTV MYSTERY MOVIE TO BE ANNOUNCED
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30 TOWARDS TOMORROW “Manel”?
POLICE WOMAN 00 MICHEL LEGRAND SPCL. J
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TONIGHT SHOW HOLLYWOOD THIRTIES 30 _ TENAIS HIGHLIGHTS
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“Gun Bait” “The Deadly Drean
L TOMORROW SHOW. SIGN OFF.

or)

Saguenay
Syndrome

MONTREAL (CP) — One in
40 Quebecers from the
Saguenay-Lake St; Jean region
may carry a gene which can:
lead to a syndrome’ causing
retardation, brain malfor-
mation and partial paralysis,
says a Montreal neurogeneticist
who, along with her husband,
made thediscovery,

Dr. Eva  Andermann,
speaking Wednesday. at the
Fifth International Conference
of Birth Defects, said all the
carriers are probably
‘descendants of a couple from
‘France who married in Quebec
City in 1657,

A high incidence of the
syndrome—known medically as
agenisis of the corpus callosum
sensorimotor
heuronopathy—was revealed in
1975 by Dr. Andermann and her
neurologist husband while they
were on a holiday in thé
SagueriayLake St. Jeanregion, |

' Most known victims of the

syndrome live in a triangular

; area bounded by the Saguenay:

River, Quebec City and Lake St;
Jean, Most of the area is within
the provincial riding of
Cisrlevoix

AS peopie move from the
Saguenay-Lake St, Jean region,
chances of the disease ap-
pearing decrease considerably,

_ Since both parents must be
carriers of the defective gene to

produce a diseased child,