The Terrace Standard, Wednesday, June 14, 1995 - AS THE DEADLY HIDE bt T'S A MISERABLE, devastating disease," says Terrace physi- cian Sharon Lee. "It's not an indication of moral weakness or being _ soft in the head. It can hap- pen to anyone." She's talking about an _ epidemic affecting more _ than 3,600 people in the Greater Terrace area right now; a disease that leaves its victims weak, bewil- dered, or even dead. _ Despite its devastation, Lee says clinical depres- sion is a diagnosis many people are reluctant to be- lieve. "It's much easier to “accept a clearly physical diagnosis — diabetes, high blood pressure or some- . thing like that." It's no surprise people might deny they suffer . from a disease commonly . viewed as a shameful per- - sonality flaw. Often, victims of depres- «Sion refuse to eyen ac- ~ knowledge their symp- . toms. Some seek temporary » relief in alcohol or drug abuse. Others believe re- - covery isa simple matter of willpower, or “pulling . one's socks up”. .. Perhaps that's why an es- --timated 80 per cent of those afflicted go without medi- - Cal treatment. ~The ones who seek help “often do so because of the _. bodily aches and pains that closely mimic a long list of other diseases. The head- _aches, fatigue, or digestive upsets which plague a de- pressed person can also be flags for a thyroid condi- tion, a viral illness, or a number of cancers. The variety of symptoms —and the fact that there are several different types of depression — make this an easily disguised illness: hard for doctors to diag- nose, even harder for pa- tients to understand. “People may not complain about being depressed per se," Lee points out. "Their complaints may appear to have nothing to do with the depression." Justas the symptoms vary, so does the impact of the ill- ness. Some bouts leave a mild mood disturbance; oth- ers inflict a crippling an- guish. Some are so severe as to result in suicide. There are an average of 12 suicide deaths reported in the Skeena Health Region each year, most of them be- lieved to be caused by acute depression. Government re- ports say the true count is even higher, as some suicide deaths are mis-classed as-ac- cidents or drug overdoses. Not every depression is fatal. "Suicide is the worst symptom of the illness,” says Lee. "Like any other ill- ness, depression covers a wide spectrum of severity." What determines the de- gree of severity — or what sparks the illness in the first place — is still the focus of research. It's believed that depression is triggered by several factors: a person's biology, social factors, a psychiatric state, or a com- bination of these. The latest news suggests the disease is closely tied to low levels of the chemicals which serve to transmit in- formation between nerve cells in the brain. Some research points to the possibility of a lab test on the horizon to measure thase chemicals in key portions of the brain. "But at this point," Lee says, “biological testing for depression is still an in- exact science." At the same time, she notes, treatment is highly effective, particularly drug therapy. "Regardless of its origin, antidepressants in general will help depres- sion, The majority of people will be helped promptly." Indeed, studies say as many as 75 per cent of de- pressed patients respond. quickly to the first medica- tion they take. With contin- ued treatment, more than 90 per cent fully recover. Despite its record of suc- cess, the medication often inspires as many false no- tions among patients as the disease itself. "Some people are quite happy to be taking antibi- otics for pneumonia," Lee says, "but suggest they take antidepressants and they get quite twitchy.” . Their fears are un- founded. Antidepressants won't change a patient's personality. They are not tranquilizers or stimulants; nor are they addictive. What that means for the thousands who suffer to- day, is that depression is a highly treatable disease. "Help is available," Lee says. "You'll be feeling ‘much better, much sooner, so why be miserable?" Q) i" WARNING SIGNS —™ _hormal activities. or excessive sleep. lessness, a * Fatigue: Loss of energy or joss of interest in * Sleep disturbance: Restlessness, insomnia, ¢Chronic pain or complaints: Headaches, backaches or digestive problems that don't re- spond to treatment; irritability. *Appetite changes: Sudden weight-loss, a changed interest in food; or weight-gain. *Emotional shifts: Undue anxiety, persistent feelings of guilt or shame, feelings of hope- *Suicidal thoughts: Feeling like a"burden" to others; recurring thoughts of death. aa ~ ONE MAN'S FIGHT FOR LIFE “.. real name, When itcomes to Gary Reynolds' breezy banter last spring. Maybe you sat next to him at his son’s hockey game, or chatted in the line-up when he stopped for milk _ on his way home — still, you'd never have known. A dark, well-dressed man in his early forties, Gary su- pervises a busy Terrace office. He's quick to smile, friendly to talk with. . . But last spring, Gary's easy-going manner became a ». mask. "Every person I'd meet, I'd think, ‘Oh, I wonder what ' they'd think if I were dead.” Gary Reynolds is not his Ve never have guessed the thoughts behind t.2 devastating illness he then battled, he'd just as ~ $00n remain anonymous. - Last spring Gary became "I wonder what they'd — - think if I were dead.” — pensable in those roles. "I felt I was of no value to any- body," he recalls. "Basically, ] saw no future.” Clearly, he decided, his life made no difference to the world, So, quietly and carefully, Gary planned his own death. “My thoughts were all Logical and practical,” he explains. “I wasn't like some demented fool listening to voices in his head. There was a logical, ongoing discussion inside." Finally Gary could bear it no longer. He took a coura- geous step that saved his life: he sought medical help, . Many victims of depression are unable to seek treatment because of their intense shame,» Soon Gary had embarked on a course of antidepres- sants..He found a support group, and began to read up on his disease. He took some one of the estimated 45,000 Canadians who battle clinical depression each year. . On the outside, he looked the same. He went to work, cheered on the hockey games, and greeted his friends downtown. .. ;."Ikepta lot of it inside, It's embarrassing to talk about, You - build up walls, you put up a front so that you fit in socially.” ~ -Inside,Gary's viewpoint was twisted by an invisible dis- », ease, Where others saw Gary as a capable, respected pro- , fessional, Gary saw himself as worthless. That's a telltale "symptom of acute depression — an overwhelming sense of uselessness and futility. Others saw a loved and loving father, husband, and ; -_ friend. Gary could not shake the sense that he was dis- — time off work. "I was taking medication and doing the headwork, too." In time, he began to see things differently. co Today, Gary knows he beat a serious, life-threatening dis- ease. He also knows it may strike again someday. "But one © of the benefits of having gone through a depression is that you learn to recognize it." . He now keeps tabs on his state of mind. Reports of suicides in the daily papers catch his eye, reminding him that his family needs him to stay alive. He refuses to keep firearms in his home, wary of the impulses that come with despair. - And every day, he continues to learn, about himself and about the devastating disease that nearly killed him. 0 _ derstanding. O \ distinct grief HAD HER HANDSOME, 24-year-old son died from cancer, Terrace store cashier Sue Waller would have no qualmsabout using her real name in the newspaper. » But the 1990 death of the bright young pilot was a sui- cide, and Waller feels her family has already suffered more than enough from the misunderstanding of others. "Had he had an accident and died, I'm sure it would have been different." . . Waller has mourned other close family deaths, but this felt different from the start. Her strong sense of tragedy and disbelief was made worse by other people's fear. "I was aware of people going out of their way to avoid having to speak to me," she recalls. Others simply stared in silence. "One woman whose son was in the military at the same time as my son never even acknowledged his death,’ shesays. Before, the two women had talked regularly, finding com- mon ground in their sons’ growing careers, Now their ongo- ing conversation simply stopped. a The sudden silence of a friend was something Waller would grow accustomed to. "It really hurt, because it made me feel like my son's image had been daiag 2d.” She was right. Her son's name had been tarnished, as is often the case in a suicide death, oe - Few people spoke him asa gentle, promising young man who died ofa terrible disease. She was more likely to hear whispers of "What a stupid thing to do", or "He always. was different’; or questions about her family's stability. Waller's story fits in with grief research. A comparative study of parents who lost sons by suicide and those who lost sons in car accidents showed that immediately after the death, the accident survivors had more positive sup- port, and fora longer period, than did suicide survivors. This does not mean one grief is worse than another. But. talk is good medicine —a primary healing tool — and few want to hear about the pain left by a suicide. The head- shaking whispers that haunt a suicide survivor can block the natural grieving process, prompting many to put their gtief “on hold" for years. a Terrace resident Linda Vandale holds her grief in a flat _ gtey envelope. "I write because it's the only way! can deal with it,’ says the 42-year-old mother of three, sliding a stack of verse across the table. oo, Vandale's poems ask her brother Lyle the same painful question again and again: Why? He never replies, Fifteen years ago, Lyle committed suicide. cr "They say time heals," Vandale says. "But it doesn't for me as a suicide survivor, because | still don’t understand.” ' Vandale agrees that the anguish of a suicide death is made worse by the accusing silence of other people. “People don't talk about it," she says. "They don’t know what to say. So nobody says anything.” SO mo Over the years, Vandale has found some healing in her poetry. Someday, she hopes, as we learn more about de- : pression and suicide, she will also find peace through ur-