which evokes an image of strong, coal-blackened men emerging tired from
the depths of the earth. Most of us have a vague idea of what mining is
about: raw minerals extracted with great difficulty for a variety of consumer uses.

Ultimately, everybody uses products manufactured from mining resources. Not
many of us understand the specifics of the mining process, and even fewer are aware
of the mining which takes place high above the earth’s surface: skyscraper mining.

Skyscraper miners do not wear standard mining gear, but rather three-piece suits
and wingtips. The gold they seek does not come directly from the earth, but is created
in their pit on the seventeenth floor of some big city office building.

To a skyscraper miner, the mother lode is on paper —— that is, their richest vein
lies in the buying and selling of mine projects.

Take the case of the theoretical Northern Nasal Mining project, for example. The
Nasal project is owned by Fingertip Investments, which is ‘a joint venture of
Aditagain Incorporated and Deep Diggers Limited. Fingertip stocks are low, but
steady. Some skyscraper miners buy a few shares and rub their gold cards for luck.

To get things going, Fingertip con-
ducts a few "test drills" in Nasal,
announcing the outstanding potential of
the mine in a carefully worded press

release. "Recent holes tested produced
DRILLING FOR 9.3 feet of 5.37 ounces and 8.4 feet of
6.41 ounces in zone B." While this means
nothing to regular folks, the skyscraper
GOLD ON THER miners read this and salivate all over
the page. Fingertip stocks rise 45 cents.

The skyscraper miners who bought low

SEVENTEE! N i i now browse eagerly through Hawaiian
condo brochures.

When a large company called Mega

FLOOR Overdraft Enterprises (MOE) hears that

. the Nasal project has some real dollar-

making potential, they want a piece of

the action. Word on the street is that

Fingertip Investments has a cash-flow

problem. So MOE buys 20% of Finger-

tip’s interest in Nasal. Fingertip stock
shares shoot up 50 cents.

Before the legal papers are typed,
MOE sells half of its 20% to a firm
pee called Currly Investments for more

“money than you'll ever see. Now Nasal is owned by the Fingertip joint venture, Mega
=... Overdraft Enterprises and Currly. Fingertip stocks go up another 20 cents. The
“skyscraper miners dance joyously across the seventeenth floor. A few sell their

_ shares.

Excavating costs are high and Nasal seems not as rich as originally predicted. In
essence, the Nasal cavity is nearly cleaned out. The Fingertip joint venture is in dire
financial straits, so like a vulture nibbling at war casualties, a sleazy company called
Larry’s Investments and Escort Services saves the day with an investment of a few
extra bazillion dollars. The Nasal project is now under the direction of the joint
venture, along with Larry's, MOE and Currly. The stocks take a 30 cent dive.

At this point, the skyscraper miners who sold their shares high are rolling around
‘on the office floor, kicking their feet in the air with glee. The ones who didn’t now
chew Rolaids and develop severe facial tics. *

The saga continues. A press release states that MOE has purchased 5% of Currly
for a sum greater than the national debt, thereby adding 5% of Currly’s 10% of the

M ining \mi’-ning\ 7. the process or business of working mines. A word

by Stephanie Wiebe

B.C. Mining Week /Terrace Review — February 28, 1992 18