Bert TTR ES

INSIDE.
COMMUNITY
EVENTS B2

KATHY FLORITTO

Urban legends
gone awry

HE NEXT time you hear a story
that has been passed on from gener-
ations past, you might want to con-
sider that of Lawnchair Larry. A
mere 15 years (July 2, 1982) since Larry’s big
event, the tale has become an urban legend.

Larry tied helium balloons to his lawnchair
and, accompanied by only a bottle of soda water
and a pellet gun, signalled his pals to release
their grip on the tethers.

Up, up and away went Larry. For 16,000 feet
he was the idol of the couch potato set —
travelling in space without moving from his
chair. Whata guy!

He was spotted by Delta and TWA pilots, so
his flight was, indeed, confirmed. Larry and his
lawnchair had made the history books.

But enough was enough. Our Larry was no
hero, Wilh his trusty gun, he began popping the
balloons and gradually, he returned to the place
from whence he came...well...close. He got a
little wel.

But in the version currently making the
rounds, the tale has grown MUCH taller in the
telling.

In the current version, his bottle of soda water.

has become a six-pack of Lite beer. His 16,000
fi flight has mysteriously diminished to 11,000
fi. The current version mentions his altitude
control (a pellet gun to pop ballocns), but it
claims that he did nol use it In fact, he did use
it. That’s how he descended, ;

The new story presents a preposterous tale of
pursuit and rescue over the Pacific by a helicop-
ter and the Della and TWA pilots who spotted
him are now, supposedly, from United and
PanAm,

His military service in the US Army in Viet-
nam has been replaced by a tale of failing an
eye exam and washing out of the US Air Force.
And, for some unknown reason, the friends
holding the tethers have become a Jeep.

Let’s face facts, even if you make it to
heaven, most of your friends and rela-
tives won't, so why not make them as
comfortable as possible in the infernal
hereafter?

The story of Larry Walters is true. The
Legend of Lawnchair Larry is, in all likelihood,
based on a 1981 episode of the old TV show
“Chips.” .

Using this urban legend as a base, ] wonder
what will become of the following, also true,
Stories...

Sometime after the first lunar landing, ads be-
gan appearing in major newspapers, offering
plots on the moon for sale. Most people chuck-
led and forgot about it. Some people chuckled
and bought. Sales haven't been brisk, but
they’ve been steady, One new title-holder, ob-
viously taking the responsibilities of ownership
quite seriously, writes:

“T have a deed for some land on the moon,
but I suspect I’ have to homestead for 6
months and improve the land to make my

ownership legal.

It’s not bard to improve land on the
moon....just fill in the holes!”’

We'll be hearing about him. in a few years, no
doubt.

Not to be outdone by Moon Marketing, Inc,
another enterprising group has been subdividing
quite a different location. Here's their ad:

“Luxury lots in Hell available now!"’

Purchase 200 acre lots in Hell for yourself or
your friends, only $16.95!

For $16.95 you get a handsome deed, suitable
for framing, for 200 acres in any circle of Hell
you select! Let's face facts, even if you make it
to heaven, most of your friends and relatives
won't, so why not make them as comfortable as
possible in the infernal hereafter?

Just let us know which sin you think the
recipient will be condemned for! Are they
Proud? Are they Lusty? Greedy or Lazy?

You tell us what they do wrong and we do the
research. We'll arrange for 200 prime acres
where they will etemally reside! What other gift
will give for so long?"

Can't wait for the legends on this one to start
making the rounds! :

By SALWA FARAH

TERRACE STANDARD.

The Terrace Standard, Wednesday, July 23, 1997 - B1

COMMUNIT

SECTION B
CRIS LEYKAUF
638-7283

Marriage made in the Marines

- PERSEVERANCE IS one

of the qualities that a U.S,

- Marine is trained in.

And that’s what it took
Terrace resident = Sgt,

Richard Blower to win the

love of Lance Cpl. Tara
Simmons.
Earlier last month, on June

7, Tara finally said, ‘‘{ do’’

. to Richard.

The two met last year at
Camp Pendleton in Califor-
nia,

Strangely enough, it’s the
slow bureaucracy of the Ca-
nadian armed forces which
is responsible for the
couple’s meeting.

In 1990 Richard tried to
sign up with the Canadian
forces, But he grew im-
patient with the bureaucracy
and the time it took to join,
So he signed up with the
U.S. Marines and got ac-
cepted in a matter of days.

**It took me three days to
join — a month later I was
pone,”” said Richard adding
the fact that his dad’s an
American citizen certainly
helped speed the process.

Richard soon was scrub-
bing clean floors cleaner,
doing push-ups and sit-up;
and getting yelled at ali the
time.

**It was an experience —
I'd think to myself ‘ok,
they’re yelling at me but I
didn’t do anything,’’’ he
laughed, remembering his
time at Loot camp.

Boot camp proved to be
live up to all of Richard’s
expectations, including the a
severe hair cut and loss of
identity.

*fOne of the first habits
they broke me of was saying
‘ch’? — that was the only
thing they made fun of,”
said Richard about this Ca-
nadian trademark,

Tara has fonder memorics

TERRACE’'S RICHARD BLOWER met his wife Tara Simmons while he was teaching an anti-tank assault unit
in the U.S, Marines. Tara was also a Marine, working in administration, It toak Richard three weeks to con-
vince Tara to go out on a date with him. :

of her time at boot camp.
She joined the Marines in
1995.

“T actually didn’t mind
boot camp,” she said.

Tara is originally from
New Jersey, and followed
her father's footsteps in
joining the U.S. Marines.

“¥ didn’t want to go to
college, so [ went to the dif-
ferent recruiting offices — ]
checked them out to see
who had the cutest guys, ”
she joked.

Tara didn’t want to work
in combat, so she chose to
do administrative work. for
the Marines.

She was working alt Camp
Pendleton when Richard

Natalle Zavagila

showed up to instruct an
anti-tank assault unit in the
use of missiles, demolitions,
mines and other taclics of
anti warfare.

He was just one of 25,000
olhers at the camp, but they
noticed each other.

Richard affectionately
referred to his future wife as
a P.O.G. — meaning Posi-
tion Other than Grunt -—- in
other words, administrative
work.

While it would seem that
the odds of finding a hus-
band are high in an U.S.
Marine camp, Tara took her
time.

After three weeks of refus-
ing Richard, Tara finally

agreed to go out ona date,

Their first outing proved
to be an eventful one. Hav-
ing spent the evening watch-
ing the sun sect, they
returned to the car to dis-
cover that they were robbed,

*“Well that was about it
for that date,”’ Tara joked.

But Richard and Tara beat
the odds. Marriage between
U.S. Marines is not com-
mon, partly because there
are not enough females to
go around, they explained.’
Most guys don’t’ want a
huge woman who hauls
potato sacks, beats dogs,
drives 4x4’s and chews

_ dip,’ Richard said about

most other female Marines.

Tara Sims

Richard explained that
Marines live in an environ-
ment that breeds force and

teaches people to take
punishment.

It’s necessary training for
the tough lifestyle.

While in active service,
Richard was stationed in
Hawaii and travelled all
actoss the Pacific taking
part in shows of military
force,

But now the couple are
living in Terrace, and
they’re expecting a child
next month.

Tara is trying to adjust to
living in a small town, and
Richard is currently looking
for employment.

Lo a Ventura

Pageant is this Saturday night

THE MISS TERRACE Pageant wraps up with a
big show Saturday night in the REM Lee
Theatre,

The three finalists from the talent contest last
week wiil be on stage. And there will be per-
formances featuring all six contestants.

The night starts at 7 p.m. and tickets are $10
al Erwin’s Jewellers in the mall and at the door,

Here are the remaining three candidates for
this year’s title.

Natalie Zavaglia

Natalie has graduated from Caledonia and her
plans for the future include going to bible col-
lege, studying journalism and eventually bec-
omning a missionary.

During high school she volunteered for the lo-
cal cable station, Since graduation she’s
primarily been involved with her church youth

Friday is deadline

for gardeners

GARDENERS TAKE note, You have two more days to
enter (he Terrace Beautification Socicty’s gardea contest,
July 25 is the new deadline — extended from the 21st
due toa lack of entrics in the home residential category.
As of late last week there were only 17 entries —~ includ-

ing the business and industrial category,

“People often think, oh, my garden's not that good. So
and so’s is better,” said Chris Hansen from the society, ex-
plaining why some people might be reluctant to enter.

Hansen is also looking for more entries from people who
live in mobile homes, and group entries from apartment

blocks. You can pick up your entry form at cily hall.

group.

Natalie entered the Miss Terrace competition
because of the opportunity for personal growth.
She also wanted to meet new people. She think
it would be an honour to be an ambassador for
the cily.

She hopes the contest will teach her more
about her potential strengths and abilities.

_ Natalie is sponsored by the Terrace Shopping

Centre,

Tara Sims

Tara is going inte her grade 12 year at
Caledonia. She’s planning to become a pediatric
oncologist.

In addition to her academic studies Tara is
also involved with the Terrace Volunteer
Bureau and helps out at Terraceview Lodge,
And she teaches Sunday school at the Salvation

Amy,

Improving her public speaking skills and
mecting new people are why Tara entered the
Miss Terrace contest.

Tara is sponsored by Air B,C,

Lola Ventura

Lola entered the Miss Terrace contest because
she thought it would be a good learning experi-
ence and a wonderful opportunity to meet new
people.

She’s going into grade 12 at Caledonia and
plans to attend college, then universily when
she graduates,

Lola hoped being involved in the contest
would allow her to learn more about her com-
munity and what she do for the town.

She’s sponsored by Overwaitea Foods,

about window decorating?

contest is on again.

biggest event of the summer,

curred in the early 1900s,

Windows get facelift

IF GARDENING isn’t your thing, how
The annual Riverboat Days window

Local businesses are being asked to has.
create a window display in honour of the

Displays can be based on any theme, as
long as its an event that would have oc-

Usually 20 businesses take part, but this
year organizers would Ike to see 30

entries, The prize makes it worthwhile —
a year’s membership with the Chamber of
Commerce, worth up to $800 depending
on the number of employees a business

Judging takes place July 29, and entry
forms are available at the Heritage Muse-
um park or call Mamie Kerby at 635-
2508,

Judges will include the newly crowned
Miss Terrace and someone from a Ter-
race pioneer family, -