.... ff -an amazing amount of physical and mental abuse, while the misery of a hangnail has
rie: pushed:many over the edge. The practice of buying a new hot water tank; for example, has
‘cm gone unrecognized for centuries as a means of effective psychological torture. If espionage
cone experts ever found out about hot water tanks, national security wouldn’t be so secure.
- While a diamond may be forever, hot water tanks are not. They get old, they rust, they
“ develop leaks, and inevitably, some poor schmuck has to fork out quite a few hard-earned
“\~ dollars to buy a new one. pe
; '. There's nothing glamorous about buying a new hot water tank, Generally, when you need a
~. new one, even the luxury of shopping is limited, because there’s a major flood.in the vicinity of ©
* the old one, and your spoiled self-indulgent family insists on a little warmth in the shower.
Time is tight. |
Now, with all due respect to hot water tank suppliers, this is not a fun purchase. You
. cannot wear a hot water tank, you cannot drive it, eat
it or even show it off to your friends. You can’t spend —
the last two weeks of July basking in the glow of your

new hot water tank, nor can you redecorate it. |

The Way | I S €é I ft = You can’t even play with it, like you can a new ;

7 | I t’s not the big things in life that drive people mad, it’s the little ones. People have survived

vacuum or stove. A new fridge holds fascination for
everyone in the family, and a new washing machine
will attract temporary interest for the otherwise laun- -
dry-allergic. Nobody plays with a hot water tank...

You can’t relax on your new hot water tank. You
can’t lean back and appreciate the sound or beauty of
it, you can only enjoy the hot water it delivers —
except that you had the same hot water out of the old
one, and it was paid for, so that enjoyment is greatly
diminished. No one is interested in your new hot water
tank, except maybe the guy you bought it from, and his
interest is fading fast. oe

I don’t think a new hot water tank adds much to
the value of your home, either. You never hear anyone _

_ walk away from a real estate pitch with,."Wow! What a
_” great hot water tank that place had —— let's buy it!"
by Stephanie Wiebe Only those tortured souls with an experienced dread of
replacing old tanks will even notice. |

Even close friends won’t care about your new hot

. water tank. If you buy a new car, dishwasher, house,
painting or even a freezer, conversations are sparked and a general discussion usually follows.
But go ahead — just try opening a conversation about your new hot water tank. You won't get

far. .

There's something inherently wrong about a major purchase this dull. It’s a feeling which
goes along with any expensive, more or less unseen, boring replacement purchase. Like auto
transmissions, dictionaries and taxes, you're paying for something you feel like you've already
got. It just seems unfair. 7

The frustration of this ordeal is capable of snapping even the strongest human spirit. "So,
Agent 44, you won't talk, We have shoved bamboo under your fingernails, starved you, and
beaten you with whips. Perhaps we should discuss your hot water tank." :

"No! Please! Anything but that! Give me the whips and bamboo, but stay away from my
hot water tank!" OO

"Ts it an old one, Agent 44? A little rusted, maybe?"

"No, please, I'll talk — I'll tell you anything you want to know!"

The worst part, the most torturous aspect of the whole thing is, once you determine you
must purchase an expensive, boring new hot water tank, the government has the nerve to tack
GST onto the price. Kind makes a cold shower look soothing, don’t it? |

Terrace Review — March 20, 1992 25