4 The Terrace Standard, Wednesday, June 18, 1997 - B1 TERRACE STANDARD INSIDE SECTION B COMMUNITY EVENTS B2 OMMUNITY-= JUST A- THOUGHT KATHY FLORITTO Backyard science CAME ACROSS this on. the weekend and thought it was too hilarious not to share. It's purportedly a bona fide letter from the Smithsonian to a wanna-be scientist who apparently contacts the Institute on a regu- lar basis. Hope you find it as funny as I do. Palcoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20078 Dear Sir: Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled ‘*211-D, layer seven, next to. . the clothesline post. Hominid skuil.’’ We have given this specimen a detailed exam- ination, and regret to inform you that we dis- agree wilh your theory that it represents . “conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago.”’ Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the ‘'Malibu Barbie.” , It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you mmay be quile certain. that those af us who are familiar with your prior wark in the field . were loathe to come to contradiction wilh your ‘findings. However, we do fecl that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modem origin: 1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient ‘hominid remains are typically fossilized bone. 2, The cranial capacity of the specimen is ap- : proximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto- hominids. 3. The dentition pattern evident on the “skull” is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the ‘‘ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams’’ you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This lat- ter finding is certainly one of the most intrigu- ing hypctheses you have submitted in your his- tory with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that: A. The specimen looks like the head of a Bar- bie doll that a dog has chewed on. B. Clams don’t have tecth. It is with a degree of melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in its normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating’s notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results, Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation’s Phylogeny Department with the concept of as- signing your specimen the scientific name “‘Australopithecus spiff-arino.”’ I, for one, fought tenaciously for the accep- tance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated,and didn’t really sound like il might be Latin. However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the mu- seum, While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting ex- ample of the great body of work you scem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has rescrved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon nextin your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard, ‘We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation’s capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the ‘‘trans- positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a struc- tural matrix’’ that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently dis- covered take on ihe deceptive appearance ofa rusty 9-mm Scars Craftsman automotive cres- cent wrench. Yours in science. Making fresh food affordable By CRIS LEYKAUF A GARDEN isn’t just about having tresh vegetables — to Nancy Morgan a garden is also about getting ahead on her grocery bills. Morgan is one of cighl families taking part in a new ‘community garden project in Terrace. The garden has been organized by the Ter- race Anti-Poverty group. It’s for people who don’t bave access to any garden land and could use help with their bills. The city donated the land — a fenced corner lot at Greig and Apsley. Then volunteers from Anti-. Poverty recruited donations of top soil, plants, tools and | lun:ver, They and the gar- dencrs built raised beds and now the plants are sproul- ing. ; Morgan has two beds in the community garden — the first garden she’s ever had in ber life. In the Woodlands apart. ments where she lives with her two daughters, there's: _ no space for a garden. Morgan moved to Terrace from Kitwanga nearly a year ago because of a rental ‘shortage there. Now she’s ‘ou Social assistance. “This garden helps me a lot to get ahead. F can’t af- ford most vegetables.’’ She says the first month was a lot of hard work, get- ting the garden plots ready, but it’s been worth it. In her two plots she’s, practicing intensive garden- ~ ing. She’s fit tomatoes, in corn, more. A tee-pee structure in the middle supports growing strawberry plants. Anti-Poverty has also Students are all that’ s needed PARENT ORGANIZERS of the city’s first dry grad have lined up door prizes, games and plenty of fun stuff for the June 27 party. Now they’re hoping that Caledonia’s 221 graduates shaw up. “It’s always a lille Tisky organizing the first one,’ says parent Joset Graham. As of late last week only 32 tickets had been sold. But Graham thinks a lot will be bought at the last minute. Traditionally, students have had a large party in the arena with canned music, following the graduation ceremonics. That party also had a no liquor policy and Kinsmen supplied security atid drove grads home. This year students are ac- tually getting more out of praduation ceremonies. They’ve already had a for- mal banquet and spring prom, On June 26 is an awards ceremony and June 27 is the dry aftergrad. ‘We knew the word dry would be controversial,’’ acknowledged Graham. But the community support for the concept has been very good. Another thing that’s dif- ferent this year is that the parly is just for grads — no dates or frieuds from outside the grad class. It’s the last time they'll be together as a big group,”’ said Graham, explaining the reasoning. The arena will de decorated in a fantasy forest theme and there will be plenty to keep grads ac- cupied all night. A huge dinosaur will flank each side of a. mock-bar, staffed by the RCMP and firefighters. There wil] be muisic, karcoke, a light show, gaming tables and.a-coffce . have ‘prizes, ; bar with separale entertain- ment. — ‘Kitimat Dry Grad has cucumbers, . onions, carrots, lettuce and , been teaching the gardeners different. techniques for growing vegetables and nutrition and cooking tips. “It’s interesling to watch the plants grow and learn about them,” she says. ‘And there’s a whole group to'share secrets with.” One of those secrets was how to make a natural bug repellent —— mix. onions, garlic, jalepeno peppers and a bit of dishsoap. “Bugs hate it.”’ Morgan’s two daughters, age 9 and 12, both have small sections in a chil- dren’s plot. Martha is grow- ing corn, strawberries and watermelon while her sister Milla-Ann has strawberries and cucumbers. Morgan also recruiled her seven-year old niece 10 the garden and she bas a small plot. Her niece lives downstairs from her, and Morgan says sometimes she misses out on nutritious food. The benefits of the com- munity garden will last beyond the summer. Gar- deners will learn about can- ning and preserving, so they _ can éat fresh food through- out the winter. Morgan wants to learn how to make and preserve tomato sauce. The communily garden is about more. than — food though. “People arc getting to. know each other,’ says ‘Morgan. She likes ihe sense of camaraderie between the gardeners. For example, they’ve de- cided to put a smoker in one. corner of the garden, to have smoked fish. “More is going to come out of this place than you’d expect.” DRY GRAD ORGANIZER Joset Graham says everything is coming together for the community and parent sponsored party, on June 27,.This big dinosaur will flank both sides of a mock bar. Grads can expect Plenty of other surprises in the arena, decorated in a fantasy forest theme. PR gE aes BE 8 gs ve . NANCY MORGAN has planted com, tomatoes, lettuce and more in her two small plots at Terrace Anti-Poverty's community garden. This is a trial year for the gar- den which was designed to help low income familias. Morgan says having a gar- den will help her get ahead on her grocery bills. Bar crowds line up A ROWDY BAR has been tamed and the transforma- tion is translating into line-ups every weekend, GiGi’s, in the basement of Terrace Inn, once had ke repulation of being one m the roughest bars in own, Over the last four months that image has gradually changed, and so have the crowds. “Now you sce people in suits standing beside people wilh an earring in their nose,” says Tony Abiad, He's one of the people behind a total renovation of the bar — new carpets, dance floor, stage, service and live entertainment provided by the band Dance Express, with which Abiad plays, “Being barred fram the Terrace Inn is like being barred from paradise.” Along with the renova- tions have come a big em- phasis on making the bar ve donated a bizarre game called human foozball — organizers aren’l sure how it will work but supposedly ils been a success in the past Plus a dunk. lank, tarot card readings, a Cal Guin- ness book of recards contes- is, and a local artist doing caricature skeiches. Added to all’ this are plenty of food and drink, cooked up by’ parents. and served by Rotary. Club waiters. — : Many of the games will and there will be three door prizes — a- mountain - bike «and. twa mini-stereo units. -In order: to put on the event parents raised about $6,000. Flowever thal won’t cover all the costs, so tickets to the event will cost about $25 per grad. . Graham was- worried stu- dents. would balk al the price, but (hat docsn’t seem to bean issue with “them, What: students’ ‘are ‘con- cerned about is bussing. “The dry grad event has been organized so thal. stu- ‘dents’ will be bussed after the grad- ceremony. to. the arena. They have from 9:30- 11 p.m. to grab a ride on the safer. bus, If they miss the bus, “You fight, you're they don’t get in. barred for life. Being bamed from the Terrace Inn is like being barred from paradise,’’ Word of the changes went around town pretty fast and the line ups started about one and a half months ago. Now the bar Js trying to capture more of a mid- week crowd, with events like Retro-Wednesdays, featuring disco music, . “It's nice to have a place to go out that feels like the big city.” ' Students have said they'd rather be free to drop by on their own. But Graham says the party is not organized for casual drop-ins. And she. says there’s plenty to ac- cupy sludents all night and up ull 7 a.m, Graham is still tooking for volunteers for a few events. She needs someone to take ‘pictures, enterlainers for the coffee bar, a team to. help decorale and. a clean up crew for the next morning. She can be reached at 638- 1347. i