qeaeneete

‘Kiddie: “ahovis are getting
better all the time .° ~

We've got a naw. one, ~ We
can’t take ,-all. the credit,

however, as one of our renders °
week ‘about .
and’.

wrote’ last’
Terrace’s “Clown-cil, ”
appears on our ‘editorial page
today.

Sé- we've come “up: ‘with
“Uncle APs Clowz-cil”.
Picture -it. . Several. dozen
kids’ in the | audience
screaming - “yea! until a

cameraman threatens to -

‘Strangle the little beasts,
UNCLE AL

' Then Uncle A] comes’ on,

while: Percy Pursesnatch

tinkles* the piano, “More

“yeas”. 7

“Hi there, all you little
kiddies out there in television
land. ’'m your old Uncle Al:
bringing» “Clown-cil”, your
merry-making friends!”

In the meantime, the
“elown-cillers” are all holding
hands (except one nasty ane
who gets getting slapped
every time he tries to join in)
and they are singing, “ring-

around-the-table-pocket-full-

of-innuendos!"

Then they. ali fall down.
That is-except for Uncle Vie.
He was the guy they wouldn't
let join in on the fun, ©

“Ha, ha, you lose, ’' titers,
clown-cillor McBunny rabbit.

They all titter. ©"

GETS BACK *

But Uncle Vic gets back at
the nasty children. He j jumps
upon the clown-cil table and
yells, “I’m the king of the
castle, and you're the dirty
rascal! He pirouettes around
the table pointing at all of
them. -

“Ah...you're full of peanut-
butter, " says clown-cillor
Edna Fuffenphetfer.

“Yah, yah, yah,” screams
the audience of kiddies,

“Aren't they just. great
gang!” yells Uncle Al; “Oh
jfook. There is Uncle. Vic.
talking to Eddy the Editor.
Let us see and hear what they .
are talking ubout.”” -

* (Camera zooms in. Uncle

Vic has Eddy the Editor.

cornered), -
a ae Vie, is Sry In

tke. ba ab
Says to sete
' “Well -you ‘shouldn't have

kicked their sandcastle down. ..

That was not ‘nice of you,”
replies Eddy.
‘Don’t pick on me and I'll

give youa juicy good for your

newspaper.

“Oh, goody,” titters Eddy
the Editor. “I like little
goodies!"

‘ THE‘ScaoP'
“Here’s the scoop, poop,"
says Uncle Vic. ‘When they.
weren't looking I secretly
changed ALL the: bylaws
around so when they try to
enforce the old ones, I'll take .
the gold stars away from their
nameplates on their desks!!’ _
“What about their cen-
tennial pins,” asks. inquisitive .
Eddy the Editor. :
~ “Heh, heh," titers . Uncle
Vie, “I've dipped the ends Inte
poison and they’ Mall ‘drop

dead!"

“Ha, ho, you little devili
you," Eddy the Editor tells

Uncle Vie.

“Aw, come on out and

play,” cry the clown-cillors.

“Our game isn’t finished yet,"

“Aw. sometimes he plays

[Som etim es.

by Ron. Thody

See ace ecu e ee 7

Jaycettes
get ready
for. Spring .

The Terrace. Jaycettes ‘have
had an active winter starting’,
with a bowling social. attended
by Jayceés,:Jaycettes and
‘guests . ‘at. Barney's. Bowl in
Januarye::

A booby prize aiid best bowler’
prize were awarded: to - the
skillful ‘contéstents followed by.
refreshments: and: dancing at:
the ‘home’ ‘of. President | Micki.
Bralii. :

In February,. the Jayceties
‘were happy to’ dgsist . at’ the
‘annual Chamber of Commerce: -
‘atallatlon with, a. coat check:

mwAlso. in: : February “thie
‘Jaycettes raise funds for their

‘projects. by having a ‘bake sale)’
at Safeway,’

--Plang are’ now underway : ‘to
make ready for the annual
Provincial ; Jaycee Conventia
to be hosted. by the Kitirna
Jaycees’ ‘in, Tate: May: ia tha.
‘Aluminum: City. :

The next ‘general esta vil,
» held. March, a

~ COST OF MARRIAGE
The department of. align i
“Indoneala recently - announce, .
‘ ‘that the price af getting marriei
me from 26 conte, to9
“cent...

f

_—

of

TERRACE HERALD, TERRACE, BC.

‘dirty mutters | clown-cillor”
- Lloydie Jumpesyit."*:
_° SYeal!: Seream the kids,
.. “Shaddup,”. “eurses:; the
| sameramans: . .
be “BRIBE ‘EM’ » foe”
“Bribe.. ‘em. all
nade ps,!? says the producer,
Jack. °
. sewhoe”
camerainan.
. “Well; give ‘em to-the: brats
in. the ‘dudience, , “and give the
clowr-cillors one, too.” >.
“I want a new broom to play:
with,” .pouts. . clown-cillor
Gordy: Rolly. me
“He: wants. to “sweep the
town. “clean,” ‘laughs - clown-
cillor Ewy Cliff... :
- “TE: you're. nice; Gordy
Rolly, Plt give you your gold
star back, ” ‘says Uncle Vic.
“Aw. che's ‘playing
favorites, " SAYS ‘elown-cillor
MeCiown.
'“Yah,” yells the est of the
clown-cillors... *-
. “¥ea," hollar the kids.

“Blah;” ua mutters Eddy the
Editor. ...

_ “1 give youra gold star too, ©
Eddy, .if-you'll print what I
want yo ‘to print, hey Eddy;
howdja like that...your’ own
great big’ gold star for your
objective in depth reports
which I Rive you, hey Eddy?”

. BLEEP ____...
“Bleép, bleep.” (That was a
beeper cutting off Eddy the
Editor’s replly). ~
“Unele Ted. Bells at the

Schoo! Board gameroom gave -

me TWO gold stars: and a
raspberry. (he makes funny
noise) lollipop for being a good
boy, so‘who needs your old
gold star. Give it to some real
estate developer who needs
it, LT ied
Editor.

_ “PIL (bleep, ‘bweep) you,”

says Uncle Vic. “You're being .

naughty." -

“Now that's not. a nice 2 thing
to-do,” is it children,” says
clown-cillor Fuffenpheffer.
. “Alright,” says Uncle Vic.

“We'll play ‘Skeena’ Bridge is .

falling. ‘down.

““That’s ‘a read dud, on
clown- eitlor

comments -
MacBunny rabbit, ;

“Yea,” scream the kids,
. “Yech,” " yell the ‘glown-
cillors. .° me

“But, honestly ‘and truly
Uncle: Cece said hé was going
to build a ‘nice, new. one that

won't fall down," says 8 clown:
cillor Jumpsuit.” ;

. “WILL, TOO," .

+ “It wills it wilt! " says Unele.

‘Vie, crying. | ;
“EH give "Eddy the Editor
the real poopon it if you don’t

stop picking .on: ime,” replies:
teed Vie * ally wile “

"(Eddy the Editor puts: on his
trench. coat. and. hat . with

press" written on it sand

leaves.-. - :
Offstage you can hear: “And:
this lime I'll check on it first
and 1 don’t want any old gold
star anyway. an
But,’ by ‘now clown-cil has

‘beginning io altack each other
‘ -with rubber: baseball : bats,

“Rolly who has a. ‘purple, plastle
with .

pipes up the
inch and 20-inch watetlines! mo

: yells" Uncle Al:

. aaa,”

continued “Eddy the ~

‘forgetten him and they. are

except. for. clown-cillor Gordy

curling broom.

; “Yea,” cream the kids,
“Join us | tommorrow,
kiddies, when Uncle Vic shows
his plumbing tricks with six-

““Yenaaadsaaasaana

Muffle the background -
noises of screaming, sobbing .
and: shouting and take your
places ladies and gentlemen. ; .
The daily auction continues.

‘Quiet: now, the Auctlonesr.
speaks. .

“Here I have a shiny sliver *
-missle! Brand new.,.never~

been used...although missiles’.
just like this: one have been.’

successfully proved for a

- couple’ of , wars, Wat am.
bid?” “A ve ne

What's that I hear? A

dimpled “but charred small’.
brown arm with three tiny.
fingers: still attached? A babe

y's head with a fragment of a’ _-

mother’s dirt and blood en-
crusted breast still sucked

Ly view:

By Nadine Asante

close?
WHAT PALTRY BIDS!

“What kind. of -paltry bids
are these? What else am I bid?

“The life of a volunteer
doctor - his voice torn from -
shredded throat as he stopped
to touch a sightless child?
That's a little more - like
it...especiaily a volunteer."

; “Anyone else with a bid?
4-3 Look again at this. smooth, ‘
. efficient toy of -war ladies:

- and gents and make your bids,
*. You sir?”

“Who made that offer ofa-
whole village? You madam?
With your stock in a munitions
factory? Or you young sir

directions.

' your financial interest ‘in’ a
chemical plant?. Or was it that
middle-aged Canadian who is |

sick of reading about the war |

in Vietnam?
. “Alrighty ‘now. . Here - is

_ “another item ’on the’ block: A
~. . bomb. Not much to look at you

say? . But it.-has untold
potential believe me. ~
"This bomb,’ ladies and
gentlemen, is’ guaranteed to
bring about .burning flesh,

- bubbling boiling bleod and the
Stench of death for a radius of
“miles. ’ :

“Look carefully ‘seer The .
‘easing breaks on contact and

hurls | burning. jelly in all
- Now ‘how’s —
that..can you beat it? It
really clings to theskin, Come.
now, your bids.

“Who made that whispered

bid?. ‘What's that? Was it a -

bid? A member of the Voice of
Women you say? A Peace
Council donator. for research

on peace? A mother who has |

taken’ her child on a peace
march?.; A. Quaker ‘making

artificial limbs for ‘war-torn. -

-children?- An ordinary

someone who has written’ a
letter of protest against. the |”
coritinued Canadian. material. triumph ° over evil: feel- the

Ce ‘weight. of our ‘Footsteps?

support of the Vietnam war?”
. “Come ‘now, don't whisper,
you'll have to speak louder

than that if-I am to take any

notice of you.

“Speak | up. ‘now, some

“sensible bids for this bomb

because. we still have the
defoliating ‘chemicals to
auction’. off, _ today
everyday,
-ATIS. UNCEASING —
And sa’ this - diabolical
-auction continues day after-
day, month after month and -
- decade after decade. Our own

Canadian — correspondents
Slessinger. and Cunningham

“show us Feuwes rat cod us*
“reports ofthe misery.
“/ mocent ‘vietims.. and - ‘what, &

do we-write? |

‘ about” ‘it, it ts too-horribte.?? |

. “don't do this bor me. vt fa ds too-

“and ‘ ,

we'do? .
‘How many letters of protest

‘ How. many marches" foe.

Or: “do: ‘we turn away. in
distaste and ‘say, “Don't talk.

‘A slanteyed ‘mother’ holding:
her dead child cannot. say,:

‘horrible. ”

In the 26: years since a the end’
of the world’ war two we
haven't forgiven the Germans -
for their massacre of -six:
million Jews, because we are
sure the German nation knew |
what was going on.

We know what is going on..
Who is going 'to forgive us? ;

Dine Out!

| Fast take. out

Canadian & Chinese Foods

Open Mon. thru Sat. 10 am. to1 am, :
Sunday 11 am. to 10 pm,

“RESTAURANT

4642 Lazelle _

Any baker who kneads the dough
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— ore ~~

[ering March 7,8,9,10

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