oA a -

"friend of mine recently graduated. While this accomplishment is commendable, a single
- graduation does not usually’ merit a full page in a magazine. Gus* was not elected “miost

likely to succeed” in his graduating class, nor was he valedictorian. As a matter of fact,

i» Gus barely managed to get through, and when he did, I think he ate his diploma. —

_ Gus is a dog, now an alunini of basic dog obedience. He is not one of those cute, fluffy "poster"
puppies, who incite otherwise normal people to tie ribbons in their fur or wear plaid doggy- jackets

~~” “on public outings. Gus has a charm all his own. He is a large creature, one of those mixed breeds
technically labelled cariinus extremus humongous... Bs _ oe

It seems that nobody has informed Gus of his unusual size. He is completely unaware that his -

.<° puppy-like exuberance doesn’t match his mastodonic girth. A spirited: adolescent canine of huge
v? proportions, Gus has an appetite for plastic jugs, barbecue covers and small imported cars.
vc.» Gus joined the household following a rather expensive theft, to fill the position of guard, dog

‘and beloved pal. At a young age, he exhibited a wild, rebellious streak, seemingly unaware that _

. large items in the vicinity of his daily rounds were not
light snacks. Gus occasionally. brought home tasty odds:
and ends from the neighbourhood, household goods,
mechanical tools and lightweight appliances, much to the.
dismay of his owners. It seemed that Gus, their hoped-for
deterrent to thieves, was himself a thief. | .
_- Now, Gus’s owners are kind, responsible people, not
_ the type to encourage his bone-crushing exuberance and |

canine crimés. They erected a fence to keep Gus's antics .
.~... in their-half-acre backyard. Not good enough, said Gus,
- “as he plowed through the gate like a semi-truck, The gate
~ was repaired. Gus crashed through ‘it again, this time
dismantling. the sutrounding boards to underline his
_~ annoyance. Evidently Gus has strong. opinions about
". fences. a | oo co
"Tn an attempt to tame Gus and perhaps discourage
his unacceptable manners, he was enroled in basic dog
_ obedience along with the usual household pets, exclusive

_. /breeds and "show" specimens. I imagine Gus stood out
Le . among his classmates. | os

ar eeeeneeemasmeemeee . | As it often goes in families, while Gus’s owner put

by Stephanie Wiebe —_._-. forth an admirable effort, Gus had little interest in doggy

—_ _, academics, and subsequently failed. He wouldn't sit and

he refused to heel. His owner was crushed, both emo-

‘tionally and physically (Gus weighs a fair amount more

than his owner). But Gus's owner is not one to give in easily to canine hooliganism, and Gus was
- immediately re-enroled. _ Se |

. After a trying course, Gus’passed his exams. It was nip and tuck for a while, and his owner

: wonders if Gus may have graduated due to the sympathy and exhaustion of the instructor, but
_ Gus is officially a basic dog obedience grad, This was cause for celebration among family friends,
- "but Gus took it in stride and snacked on a few recessed garden lamps. His tired but optimistic

owner sighed and enroled him in a more advanced course. | .
- Gus feels differently about himself now. You can see it in his eyes. He hold his head high, as

he drags large tools and small appliances home to his frowning master. When he knocks down
_ visitors with the panting, overwhelming enthusiasm of a brontosaurus in heat, it’s a gentler fall

than before. Like they say, it’s amazing what a little education cando.
And his exasperated owners? Theyre talking with the fence specialists, looking at skyscraping ©

heights of strong'chain link and galvanized steel posts. Gus listens to these discussions with little

concern — as a matter of fact, he’s looking forward to the new construction. Some new chain link
ought to make a nice light snack. co mo . -_ Z

*Name has been changed to protect Gus, who is a juvenile. _ By

- Terrace Review — April 24, 1992