PAGE 6, THE TOWNSMAN, Thursday, November 3, 1977

Bil Smiley

I’m for

conscription

By BILL SMILEY
A WHILE ago, Defense
Minister Danson sent up a
trial balloon suggesting he
would not be averse to con-
scripting young Canadians
into the armed Forces.

I thought it wasn’t a bad
idea, Guys my age always
think it isn’t a bad idea to
conscript the young. “Give
‘em a bil of discipline. Put
some backbone in them,"’ we
huff. ,

Many other nations have
conscription schemes under
which young men must serve
from one year to two in the
armed forces, then are listed
in the reserve, and go back
once every couple of years
for a few weeks for a. re-
fresher course.

Switzerland is the classic
example. It has a cracking
good army and a large, well-
trained reserve, although it
has never been im a war, as a
nalion. [t doesn’t have much
use for a navy, for some
reason.

In Brilain, used for many
years to asmall regular army
of professionals, and swarms
of volunteers in time of war,
the National Service, as it
was called, was introduced
after World War Il and was

very unpopular. It has since
been cancelled, as the need
for bodies in the services
shrank with the shrinking of
the Empire.

It was pretty well the same

in the States. That infamous
thing called The Draft was

suffered in war time, but
when it was used to train
young men to go and kill
people in a senseless war
thousands of miles from:
home, for no logical reason,
it met with calumny, chi-
canery, and plain draft-
dodging, along with a deser-
tion rate that was a national
scandal, .
That’s mot quite what
Barney Danson and I had in
mind. | wouldn’t mind seeing
a modest form of conscrip-
tion in which everyone was
called up, except of course,
your sons and daughters, and
mine. .
What I'd like to see would
be more like the Dutch con-
scription system, in which
the troops can have long hair
and beards, belong to a
union, elect their own NCOs

and wear civvies when not on
duty.

Conscripts would be well
paid — about $100 a week —
would get one week off for
every three weeks in service,
and armed forces kitchens
would have the best food in
the world, olitside of four-
star restaurants.

The usual perks, of course,
would remain: free dental
and medical service, duty-
free smokes and booze, free
travel on leave.

One more thing I would in-
troduce. § would get rid of
the arrant sexism that exists
in our present armed forces.
Women would share the
same jobs, the same pay, the
same privileges, and the same
barracks, as the men,

Women would have the
same number of senior of-
ficers, based on the propor-
tion of females in the service,
just as the French Canadians
have now.

Women would be given
maternity leave, with. no
blight on the old escutcheon,
just as jady school teachers
are now, With one dif-
ference. They would have a
built-in baby sitter when they
went from the swaddling
clothes phase back into
uniform.

Just to make it fair, men
would be given paternity
feave, although possibly not
the six months granted
women. Free day-care ser-

vices would be provided for
the children of parents who
were both in the forces,

Medicals would be a little
more lenient. I'd admit any-
body who: could see his or
her hand before his/her face;
did not have venereal dis-
ease; was missing no more
than two limbs. This would
absorb about 94 per cent of
our young unemployed.

But this would cost mil-
lions, you will exclaim.

Of course it would. Bil-
lions in fact. But what's a
billion these days? How
many billions are we now
throwing off the end of the
dock to these same people, in
the form of unemployment
insurance, welfare cheques,
reform schools, jails, psy-
chiatric treatment, and edu-
cation? -

I guarantee you we'd
break even. And look what
we'd gain. We could close up
two-thirds of our institutions
of higher learning, which
would be no great loss. We
could cut unemployment
payments to the bone. We
could trim the fat off the
obese, and bolster the health
of the badly nourished, with
good service grub. We could
absorb all those dentists and
doctors who now’ have to
make $100,000 a Year to sur-
vive. ;

In five years, we could
have an armed force that
would make Guatemala
quiver in its boots. At the .

Present, the only nation we
could lick is Iceland. Without
Greenland.

But [ am never one to try
to foist my opinions, how-
ever brilliant, without some
solid backing. That’s why I
did an informal survey with
some of my senior.classes.
They chought it was right on,
after I'd outlined my ideas.

“‘Wow!"" was the reaction
of Elvira, back in Grade 12
after an unsuccessful atlempt
to establish a career in wait-
ressing. ‘You mean we'd all
live together in them there —
whadda ya call them, sir —
barracks?’”

“Ya mean I'd get a hun-
dred bucks a week just for
drivin’ around in a tank or
goin’ for a cruise on one of,
them big ships?" queried Joe
Muffraw, who is 20 years old
and has never been away
from home or held in his
hand more than a 10-dollar
bill in his.life.

“Who gets to be officers,
and how much do they make,
and are they fed better?”
asked Christopher, the class
whiz. ‘Sure sounds easier
than four years of college
and no job.”’

That’s just a sampling. [
asked for a show of hands
from those who were unal-
terably opposed. Not a hand
was raised. But of course,
they were not sure what unal-
terably meant. .
© The Argyle Syndicate Ltd.

_Qne last stage fling for Andy Williams

OTTAWA (CP) — Andy
Williams, a boy from W
Lake, Iowa, here to launch
his first cross-Canada tour—
which he says will also be
his last anywhere before
easing into semiretirement.

He flew to Ottawa Sunday
night from Los Angeles,.now,.
his home, and after a
sleepless night was tired
and still unshaven when
interviewed about his future
plans. .

He will open his Canadian
tour at the National Arts
Centre Tuesday night,
appearing with Buddy
Rich’s 16-piece band and his
own back-up singers. The
tour, running to Dec. 4, will
take the show to Hamilton,
Ont., Winnipeg, Calgary
Edmonton and Vancouver.

But will be interrupted in
Hight fo Lenon ferglaad te

n land,
be host at the Miss World
page t in the Royal Albert

, one of the world’s
biggest auditoriums, a
space so vast as to daunt
many a soloist, big band or
chorus. ;

For Williams, however, it
will be a return engagement

and should be less of a trial.
Since his first appearances
there, new accoustic baffles
have been installed to make
show sounds more
manageable.

Willams made his first
record album in 1961, Danny
Boy, quickly followed by

‘Moon River, Days of Wine

and Roses, and Call Me
Irresponsible. He now
counts his record sales
around the world at more
than 35 million.
PLANS TO RETIRE

He apparently feels he has
earned the privilege of
taking life with more ease.
When he announced in
September his plans to
retire at the end of this year,
that was, he said in the
interview here, ‘‘when I was
tired, in the midst of a hig
tour.” .
Williams intends simply

touring : :
work in recordings, TV
Shows, and an annual six-
week ement
Caesar’s Palce in Las

8. .

le of course grumbles at
the poor quality of sound

at’

that emerges from the
average home television set,

When people learn they Joud-speakers in home TV

can get

tter sound and sets,

television will be

whatever high fidelity isfed insist that manufacturers forced to serve the public
improve the quality of the demand, he said,

-Hold a fitness party

into studio microphones.

Give your family, friends and
you a break this year. Entertain
this Christmas season with par-

ties that sway gently from the -

traditional cocktail party, open

house or elaborate dinner.

Everyone, it seems, is be-
coming more fitness-conscious
by the day. Festive parties with
rich foods and endless drinks
don’t much help the cause. Soa
party centered around a fun sport
in which children and adults alike
can participate, will be a guar-
anteed success. .

The sport you choose to high-
light your party depends on your
friends and your locale, Skating
is probably the easiest and least
expensive for all concerned. But
cross-country skiing, snow-shoe-
ing, and tobogganing are other
good possibilities,

In keeping with your theme of
havinga “fun but fit" party, serve

foods that have ‘tots of taste
appeal but are jam-packed with
nutrition.

_ Drinks should be hot, but to
keep out of the kitchen serve a
limited selection. Hot bouillon
spiked witha little sherry is lowin
calories and does wonders for
warming the tummy. And hot-
mulled wine is not only fitting for
-the occasion, but is a favorite
with most people. — ;

For the children and teetat-
allers in your group, have a

steaming pot of hot apple cider
nearby,

Serve help-yourself-foods like
cheese fondue, make-your-own
sandwiches and a selection of,
cheese and fruit,

Choose a crispbread instead of
a conventional bread for your
party needs, Crispbread is a

NORTHERN

WD.

4624 Greig
635-5257

TOY & MATTEL
DOLLS

in Scandinavia and is used there
everyday for open-faced sand-
wiches. Becauseit is naturally dry
it can be arranged on platters
hours in advance with an array of
sandwich toppings and will be
“fresh” when it's time for your
party. Conventional bread, on-
the other hand, dries out quickly.

Choose a few varieties of
crispbread so your guests have a
greater selection. Ry-King, for
example, comes in three varieties
— golden rye, light and wheat.
And since it is made from whole
grain flour and has no added
preservatives your nutrition and
fitness-conscious friends should
be delighted.

If you find yourself short on
ideas, United Biscuits (Canada)
Lid. can help you out. They have
a free booklet giving numerous
ways for using crispbread, Write
to them at 2141 Jane Street, Suite
204, Downsview, Ontario, M3M

crisp, dry bread which originated

wee eee UP OETA ESTER Oe eRe wes