Ad - The Terrace Standard, Wednesday, March 8, 2006 | & TERRACE . TANDARD » . ESTABLISHED APRIL 27, 1988 PUBLISHER: ROD LINK ., ADDRESS: 3210 Clinton Street Terrace, B. C+ v8G. 5R2 - TELEPHONE: (250) 638-7283 - FAX: (250) 638-8432 — — WEB: www.terracestandard.com — EMAIL: newsroom@terracestandard. com - - This bear don’ t dance > THERE COULD be trouble brewing | for the north- west sometime next year as part of the run up to: the 2010 ‘Winter Olympics in Vancouver/Whis- ‘ter. It’s not about the cost of the increasingly, eX- _ pensive games or how the northwest can get its __ Share of the promised economic benefits. die, better known by northwesterners as the Ker-. Rather. it. concerns Ursus americanus Kermo- ; mode bear,:a genetic offshoot of the 1 more com- : - mon black bear. a ae A “Relatively. few people have ever’ seen a. Ker-'| mode but it has. ‘been adopted by the northwest’ _as the symbol, for.our area. It’s used by. the City | of Terrace, in. tourism marketing and B.C. Liev-. . "tenant-Governor: Iona Campagnolo was so taken: with the off-white: bear she’ Ss. included it in. n her . Official coat of arms. But others also have their eyes on our Kermode. _ It’s -been: virtually bear-napped and: its name | changed to. Spirit Bear by the provincial g govern-., ment and environmentalists for their own purpos-— “es in setting aside a large tract of the central. and “ northcoast as a conservancy area. The provincial _. government is so taken by the Kermode that it, ~-wants to ‘make it B.C.’s- official animal. And. so it ‘When: Vancouver/Whistler was chosen as the lo-- ne should.’ : a Where. the Olympic trouble spot comes in con-. cerns the selection i in 2007 of a games. mascot. cation for the’2010 Winter Olympics this newspa- ‘per promoted the adoption of the Kermode as the symbol. for the. games. ‘There was no better choice. to establish the ‘province and’ the’ ‘northwest as a _ unique part of the world. As it turned out, others thought otherwise and the inukshuk, a decidely un-British Columbia symbol was chosen instead. Now there’s a move afoot to make the Kermode the 2010 mascot. Done properly and with dignity, this could be a worthy tribute to our Kermode. In announcing the plan to make the Kermode B.C.’s official animal, in her, speech from the | throne Feb. 14 Lieutenant-Governor Iona Cam- " -pagnolo said “it is a powerful presence anda thing of wonder that lives in a magical land of beauty. “grace, and unbridled potential.” Given the provincial government’ s intent in° . this regard, ‘the mascot campaign must take those: words to heart. And the 2010 Winter Games of-' ficials must include northwesterners i in any con- sideration as to their plans. - Done wrongly, the Kermode as a mascot stands to be treated as one of those strange: creatures which jiggle and bounce as they prowl the side lines and bleachers at sporting events. .. FRONT OFFICE: Darlene Keeping, Carolyn Anderson aN Ay That cannot thappen. Simply put, this bear don’ t dance. | Be re PUBLISHER/EDITOR: , - Rod Link ADVERTISING MANAGER: Brian Lindenbach - - PRODUCTION MANAGER: Edouard Credgeur , NEWS: Sarah A. Zimmerman ; COMMUNITY: Dustin Quezada. NEWS/SPORTS: ‘Margaret Speirs : _CIRCULATION SUPERVISOR: Alanna Bentham © . ADVERTISING CONSULTANTS: Bert Husband, ‘Susan Willemen AD ASSISTANT: Sandra Stefanik — PRODUCTION: Susan Credgeur _ SUBSCRIPTION RATES BY MAIL: $57.94 (+$4.06 GST)=62.00 per year; - Seniors $50.98 (+$3.57 GST)=54.55; _, Out of Province $65.17 (+$4.56 GST)=69.73 : Outside of Canada (6 months) $156.91(+10.98 GST)=167.89 | , - - MEMBER OF BLE. AND YUKON COMMMGTY RENESPAPERS ASSOCIATION, CANADIAN COMMURITY NEWSPAPERS ASSOCIATION AMD B.C. PRESS COUNCIL (werw-_bcpresscouncil.org) Serving the Terrace and Thomhil area. Published on Viecnesday of gach week af 3210 Cito Street, Terrace. British Columbia, VG 52. @ Black Press _ Stories. photographs, Mustrations, designs and iypestyies i ine Terrace Senaard ase ine propery of the cony- right holders, including Black Press Ltd., its Busiration reoro services and advertising agencies. Reproduction in whole or in part, witnout water permission, is scecifically prohibted. Authorized as second-class mail pending the Post Gitice Department, for peyment of postage in cash. Special thanks to all our contributors and correspondents for their time and talents : way of Tears” —[ SNOWSHOES? CAN ice FISHING wUrT?” BE AN Ice BLOCK INUKSHUK? - | MONTREAL ACROBATS 1 AND . 7 _ AVRIL LAVIGHE?? ~ You D THINK VANOC- coud awe p, HAVE Come uP wote: SOMETHING. REPRESENTATIVE ~ oF VANCOUVER, FOR | ASKi-D00? THE CLOSE OF THe OLNMPICS... } fo. WELL, TWN TeteD XN \ _ But DURING THE: REHEARSAL Poe f Tae ‘DRUG ADDICTS WOULDN' v STN oN FORMATION, “THE. PANWANDLERS keer GOING: INTO THE STANDS. AND THe, CAR THIEVES: TRIED BOYS POSSESS ‘a greater _«propensity for rebelling against, . “and engaging in conflict: with © authority than girls who are . more likely to try to avoid con- ~ flict and work to preserve har- “mony. : _ For many boys, rejection of |. female authority in particular Might be due to a developmen- ° |. _ tal need although they are often ‘very unskilled about how. to - accomplish this goal. The fol-.. lowing story describes:how ag-. | "gression can unfold i ina typical _ home. fe Dad has just woken up five- : [year-old Sam, and has asked - _ Sam:to dress.for school.’ Five _ minutes later ‘Dad «discovers Sam playing with his Lego. In ‘a stern voice Dad tells him it’s time to get dressed. | ; Ten minutes later Dad finds Sam in the kitchen in his paja- ~ mas looking for breakfast. “Dad ~ - erupts! This might become ‘the ~ “second time this week that he is late for work because of Sam. He marches Sam back to _ his room and ‘orders him to get ‘dressed. Dad stands at the door repeatedly barking at him to hurry up. Sam ever so slowly dresses and makes mistakes. Dad is furious and threatens to take away his favourite toy. Sam cries and gets dressed i im- ‘mediately. - - While Dad. may have won this Particular : ‘battle,’ Sam is winning the war..Sam has dis- covered a special way to get . . power when he refuses to’ obey Dad’s orders. 7 ders and demands makes Sam’s, : refusal to cooperate useful for showing Dad who's in charge. Sam doesn’t like being c or. BARRY MacDONALD © dered and reminded about what a IGUEST COMMENTS to do, so deciding what he will _ do in his own time makes Sam feel a cut above Dad. Until Dad is ready to step outside. of the power struggle - and teach Sam‘to be coopera- tive, he'd better not expect to get to work any earlier. When we understand how we inad- vertently feed undesirable be- ‘haviours, we can reassess our approach to discipline: > | At puberty, misguided boss- “iness, or lawyer’s syndrome ‘- where boys convincingly ar- gue.to prove who’s boss — only become more challenging. Increased testosterone lev- “els can propel a boy with mis- guided power to become overly aggressive and potentially vio- lent unless taught more socially harmonious ways of living. ‘Youth violence, explains : Dad’s repetition of his or: Garbarino in, Lost Boys: Why ‘warming signs; he says, are a s). | _ lack of connection, masking of. |-. emotions, withdrawal, silence, . rage, trouble with friends, hy- . per-vigilance;. and cruelty. to- ‘ward: other children and even animals. - However, we should be care- : ful not to label all aggression as | “anti- social and recall that often among men aggression can be highly valued and prized: be- haviour as expressed in the fol- * lowing comment, “He’s really: “aggressive with that account . and getting great results!”* Aggression is also part of cu- . riosity, exploring the -world and trying. new things — in short, asserting: oneself i in: potentially : positive ways. For many boys, the chal- lenge is learning how to ex- press themselves in acceptable ways that.don’t infringe on the’ rights of others. For parents and - teachers, it’s learning how to. co-opt the aggression for con- structive purposes. Some boys may know that> they are transgressing, and that they will get caught eventually, but they want to appear as if they are in control. When heels are dug in, adults need to pull back to avoid es- calating the situation. We risk _ provoking a new confronta- ‘tion by insisting that children do things our way - one that is often more -unpleasant than the original. Is it worth it? Insist- ing on. doing things his own way can be the boy’s method of _ showing he is. ‘the boss of him- Our Sons: Turn Violent ae How We Can Save Them; “i * The often a boy's attempt to achieve justice as he perceives it.” self, which can be productive for him on one level. . When we get ensnared in counterproductive arguments and power Stnugeles, we have “=| Bringing up boys is complicated to ask. ourselves what the boy os is.really leaning. Eye rolling, - muttering, and smiling at in-. ©: opportune moments are meant © - to provoke us and also to save ~ face. Don’t get hooked. ; | ‘Adults must look also be- yond boys’ unconstructive be- haviour :to teach a vocabulary for’ emotions. For many boys, and men, anger is one accept- ~_ able emotion: — the funnel _ through. which all feelings are channeled. “Once a boy gets comfort- ‘able using words for what-he . ‘is experiencing; hurt, anxiety, ‘ frustration, ” . and shaine, for example; he can. . “J begin to deal with it, and help.‘ himself. Say ‘something: like,’ “Sounds like you may be frus- disappointment, trated,” when boys bark, “This assignment is stupid!” ‘When he hits another per- ‘son, rather: that automatically _assume the worst, help him to» find words, “Hitting is not okay so I suspect that something must be really upsetting you to react in this way. What’ Ss going on?” As you try to guide boys toward more socially positive choices, remember to let them save face.and maintain their in- tegrity. . The preceding is 's from Boy . Smarts — Mentoring Boys for — | Success at School, by author . | and parenting/teaching expert ©: Barry MacDonald of Vancou- _ ver. The book offers 100 guide- lines for parents and teachers ° to help‘boys be successful a at schol and life. | - MacDonald was recently in . Terrace meeting with parents and teachers. * THE NICKNAME “High- implies we’re ‘helpless. We can't do anything to prevent losing young women along this 450 miles of Yellow- head. Fate rules. Nonsense. Even if a serial killer is responsible, fate didn’t _ have a hand in this. Their dis- appearances aren’t accidental. They chose the actions that tT placed them in harm’ s way. By ’ choosing the risky behaviour, - _ they set themselves up. for the consequences. - What we must try to dois figure out why they chose to -hitchhike, why they discount-- ‘ed the risk until hitchhiking seemed an acceptable choice. Police consistently warn against hitchhiking.. None- theless every weekend people thumb at Thornhill highway ~ intersections.: Whether these’ missing women were run over, dragged __ off by.a predator, or kidnapped and transported elsewhere be- fore being murdered, we may never learn. We need to figure out why young women persist in hitchhiking any highway, and especially Highway 16, given its recent history. Until we unravel their mo- ‘THROUGH BIFQCALS CLAUDETTE SANDECKI tives, we must teach young- ‘sters (a) never to hitchhike or walk highways alone (b) never to get ina car with a stranger (c) always to file with a trusted friend or relative a “travel plan” . with an ETA (expected time of arrival) and (d) to value’ them- selves, to know they are worthy of love, respect, and caring, and too important to their families to willingly expose themselves to harm. ' After drilling into their heads that hitchhiking can be a dead end trip, if a hitchhiker (or anyone) fails to arrive where and when. they should, their ‘absence should immediately be reported to police, even . . _hews media. The sooner police and the community can begin ’ checking, the more likely they ‘to remember . are to be rescued. Even a first- hand witness to a highway ab- duction would be ‘hard pressed color weeks later. I don't know more about these missing women and their families than what I've learned from media reports... But af- ter watching Oprah interview ‘two young women Feb.. 24 I wonder if any of the missing women might have been driven by internal turmoil similar to that confessed by Oprah's two guests. Both admitted to having low self-esteem, to feeling unloved and unlovable. One had been sexually molested by a close, | as 12 and 13 providing sexual © relative when she was a child. The second had been teased mercilessly by school peers be- cause of her stringbean height. Both have had unprotected sex with multiple, spur-of-the- - moment sex partners though neither enjoys sex. They feel no emotional attachment to any man they might be with; both seek sex from almost any male a car make or Girls and hitchhiking don’ fr mix available. Psychologist — Dr. Robin Smith. analyzed these two wom- en’s promiscuity as an endless “search for love and acceptance to lessen the pain they feel from being molested or teased. or from being abandoned by their - father. Either their father was physically absent from their | home, or emotionally distant. _Dr. Phil maintains a father — needs to tell his daughter that she is okay as she is, lovable, and deserving of respect. . If Dad doesn’t confirm she is a — worthy individual, she will fall ‘prey to the first male who sweet talks her. ‘Studies report one in four fe- . males will be sexually abused. - or molested. The incidence of - physical abuse, too, is unac- - ceptably common. Terrace has girls as young favours in exchange fora warm ~ place to sleep because their “home” can sometimes be a - scary or unhealthy place with . verbally, physically or sexually abusive parents, or environ- ments where weeknight parties are the norm. Will they hitchhike some day to escape a painful past?