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‘Honesty Is Best -

Abby

If You're Old Enough
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By Abigail Van Buren

© 1980 by Universal Press Syndicate.

DEAR ABBY: Some years ago, I ‘wae raped and became

pregnant. I gave birth to a baby boy, but under the | :

circumstances [ couldn't bring myself to raise him. My best
friend — I’l] call her Minnie — was happily married but -
waan’t able to bear children, ao ashe and her husband
adopted my son. That decision worked out well for all of us. I
visited them often and watched the boy grow up in a fine
environment. . '

Here's my problem: In Minnie's eyea, the boy is now old
enough to understand the circumatances of his birth,
adoption, etc, and they want to tell him the entire story.
They think he has the right to know all the facts of hie birth,
including the fact that I am his mother and hia father was a
rapist! .

I have always felt that honesty is the best policy, but in .
this instance, I don’t think the boy needs to know all the
facts, Because ofthis disagreement, I am no longer
speaking to Minnie and her husband. ; :

1 would like your opinion. ; _ ,
WAITING IN SARATOGA
e .

DEAR WAITING: Honesty is always the best policy.
You don’t say how old the boy is, but he should be told \ +

‘only as much as he can comprehend. Very young

children can understand “adoption,” but the other
details of his birth should not be disclosed until he is
sufficiently mature to handle them. (P.S. I question
the wisdom of telling a child his father was a rapist.)

DEAR ABBY: I am married to a physician. We recently
attended a medical convention where there were about 3,000 .
physicians present. ’

Maybe it’s because lately we have all become ao weight
conscious, but I was really shocked by the number of fat

. physiciana I saw there. More than half the doctore were
visibly overweight (my formerly svelte hushand included).

Have you any statiatica dealing with physicians being ©

overweight?
JOHN'S WIFE.

DEAR WIFE: In a survey of 900 family physicians,
sponsored by the American Academy of Family
Physicians, 62 percent of the M.D.a wha responded
said they wanted to lose weight. More than one-third
of that group wanted to lose more than 10 pounds, but
89 percent said they had not followed a specific
weight-loss diet in the last six monthe. -

(P.S. Two-thirds recognized the necessity of con-
trolling their sugar and cholesterol intake, but only a
little more than 50“percent said they themselves
followed that advice.)

Physician, heal thyself?

DEAR ABBY: Melvin graduated from high school at the
top of his claes last June. He waa offered a acholarship to a
very fine university, but he turned it down to go to a local
college. Everybody thought he was crazy. He admitted to me
he didn't want .to go away to college because he gets
“homesick.” ’ ;

We sent Melvin to summer camp when he was 11, and he

came back after one week so thin and pale he didn’t lock like
the same boy. He said he got so homesick he couldn't even
sleep or eat.

Melvin is not an only child. But he is my youngest and
haa always stayed very close tome. ‘

He doean't have many friends and has never asked a gitt
for a date on his own, but he has dated girls when someone
fixes him up. He reads a lot and doesn't mind being by
himeelf-all the time.

I want Melvin to go away to college this fall, but every
time I bring it up he begs me not to talk about it. I think it
would be good for him to go away, but how can a mother

_push her son out of the house when he begs to stay?

MELVIN'S MOM

DEAR MOM; It's not uncommon for an 11-year-old
to be homesick, but when he reaches college age he
should have matured sufficiently to overcome it. If
Melvin has not been evaluated by an expert, he,
should be. Don't push him out of the house, but do
insist he have a frank talk with a doctor.

a

~ Your Individual -

“Horoscope

_ .FGORFRIDAY, -
 SUNE 6, 1980
ARIES 7 ve a a
(Mar. 21 to Apr. 19) Vé °
You may fee] unappreciated
at work. You're overly

sensitive now. Use time ‘by
yourself for new inspirations

about Investment projects... °
TAUR tee - -
(Apr. 20 to May 20) O4eg?

Partnership rapport, ‘but

friends are touchy and easily’
. ,offended. You may tire
quickly of the soctal scene.’

Enjoy privacy,
GEMINI ... ;
(May 21 to June 20) <

_ Anew work assignment. |
_ Take this chance to show-your -.

originality. However, keep

‘personality out of business .

dealings for success,

CANCER 7
‘(June 21 to July 22) ec

‘It may be difficult to ¢
concentrate on work. Avold - -
daydreaming. Anew romantic |
introduction, but inwardly ©

you're feeling withdrawn...

LEO. -
(July 23 to Aug. CESS
In romance keep your feet

on the ground. You tend
towards wishful thinking. A

‘close ally has an interesting

business suggestion. ,

(Aug, 23 to Sept, 22) MP My

Doing something different
together will please a
romantic interest. How about

. a short trip? The p.m. doesn’t

favor social life,

LIBRA
| (Sept. 23 to Oct. 29) SB
. Problems.at work may be —

the catalyst you need to come
up with a new mone

idea, On the job, the
atmosphere is touchy.

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) "LAKE
You may take up a new

hobby. Don't be afraid to try
new things. Romantic
interests need special

GITT. Rory ee Hint
(Nov. 22 to Dee. ay ge?

Find ways to titilize wasted
space at home. However, you
may not be In the mood ta do
anything too costly. A relative
may be moody.

’ CAPRICORN i
(Dec, 22 to Jan. 10 Wo ke’

Watch for crossed-signals re
travel. Meet new friends with
cordiality. Don’t brood about a
work problem, The p.m, finds
you domestically inclined.
AQUARIU:

(Jan. 20 to Feb, 18} are

Neither a borrower nor
lender be.:A new career
opening is financially
promising. Still, you're
warned not to overspend for
pleasure.

PISCES
(Feb. 19 to Mar. 20) MEX

An element of deception ~

possible. See . things
realistically. Fire up your
spirit with travel plans.

‘Romance iffy in the p.m.

HERMAN

"He's put dravy in his water. pistol.”

.

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Yesterday's Cryptoquip — ERRATIC CROWDS WORRIED
MUSEUM CURATOR. | —_
, Today's Cryptoquip clue: G equals A

The Cryptoquip is a simple substitution cipher in which each
letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals 0, it —
will equal O throughout the puzzle. Single letters, short words,
and words using an apostrophe can give you clues to locating
vowels, Solution is acconiplished by trial and error.

By Stan Lee and John Romita

*

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