6 Wednesday, November 7, 1990 — A Supplement t to the Terrace Review This page is ‘supported by: Terrace entennial Lions in m recognition of Drug & Alcohol Awareness Week | Someone to talk to.. cont’d from pg. 4 what to do." Of course not. He always knows what to do. Ever hear your mom say, "I’m scared. | don’t know what to do." Of course not. Mothers know everything. Sometimes even a little too much. So what’s a kid supposed to do? It’s tough being a kid and I guess you've just got to be tough to survive. I guess you just necd to have a little faith in yourself, and even when you're a little scared, and give it your best shot. Of course jt helps to pretend that you’re under control... And bad things only happen to kids who aren’t in control. But life would sure be a lot easier if I had someone to talk to. 1 mean really talk to. A good listener... Someone who under- stands, I talk to my friends, of course... But most of the time, I feel like I already know a lot’ more than them. And they won’t say it, but I think that sometimes they’re a~ little scared too... When they don’t really know what to do. So how about it Mom? Dad? Can we talk? Maybe it’s cool and you just forgot to say if. Or maybe your so busy being grown up that you’ve forgotten how hard it was to ‘get there. Maybe if we talked, we'd find out. Alcohol is the drug choice among secondary school stu- dents.. One in five B.C. secondary school students use alcohol at least once a week. 33% said they have con- sumed more than five drinks at once in the last month. 30% of students had used marijuana in the past year. 19.3% of students has used marijuana in the last month. 1.6% have used “‘crack’’, 1.2% have tried a hallucino- genic drug. Youth Health Survey. | 25% said they: had been drunk at least once in the last month. 28.5% had smoked in the last year (more girls than boys). 20% smoked more than 10 cigarettes a day. 15.1% have used bar- biturates or tranquilizers in the last year. - 6% of students had used cocaine in the past year. * Source: Substance abuse Preven- tion: Policies and Programs for School Boards, Colleges, and Universities. A survey of 15,000 students at 151 schools. Prepared by Shannon & McCall for BCCLEA. Substance abuse; national problem Substance abuse by. youth is a national problem. A com- prehensive school health and guidance program, such as Lear- ning for Life may be part of the solution. However, responsibili- ty for addressing the problem must be shared through col- laboration between schools, sup- port agencies, community organizations, families . and various levels of government. A‘ co-ordinated effort must be made to encourage healthy lifestyles among children and youth. This page is is supported by: Braid Insurance Agencies Ltd. ‘in 1 recognition of Drug & Alcohol Awareness Week Communication.... What is it? How do I do it? Contributed by Lynn Hughes RPN, Counsellor/Training Con- sultant with Northwest Counselling Centre Both the parent and teen here are "communicating", but their com- munication is “hidden”. Their dilemma isn’t all that unusual. Many parents, and teens, think about what they would like to say, but never find the courage to say what they really think. Obviously this creates a problem for every- one, but the teenager often suffers the most. All parents possess some communication skills, even though they may not have had a lot of practice in using those skills, but most teens are only beginning to learn. When communication is lacking, though, both the parent and the teen are left trying to guess what the other might be thinking. Alone, they try to interpret all those little "hidden messages". Parents might have some tuck. After all, they were all teens at one time. But the teens themselves are poor mind teaders and often interpret those hidden messages wrong. For example, a teen might feel he is unworthy of his parent’s confidence because he is not included in some of their most basic thoughts. This might lead to a poor self-image and this in turn might lead to some sather bizarre behavior. Permissiveness might be inter- preted as. not caring. Friction between parents might tell a teen has to take this he has done something wrong. These things too can lead to prob- lems for teens and cause them to reflect the wrong message back to their parents. Obviously, someone has to find a way to bring those hidden mess- ages out into the open. Someone has to begin the process of com- munication. Who will it be? All young people struggle for independence but at the same time have a yearning for a parental connection. This yearning, this need to be loved and understood, is the parent’s opening. It’s the place where praise and recognition for a job well done -- or gentle, constructive criticism for a situ- ation poorly handled -- can open the door to understanding. To do this, though, some parents may have to change the way they think. This can be difficult. Why? Perhaps there is a fear of rejection. Or it might mean having to shed our need to "control" our teens lives. The need to try to mold our teens into what we want them to be. The belief that unless our teens accept our values, they will fail. In short, it means change, and that can be frightening. But someone initiative for change and it may as well be the adult. Following are a few basic ideas that might help: : First, parents can help their teens... But they can’t control their lives, - Think about the purpose of This page is supported by: Skeena Union Board Of Health in recognition of Drug & Alcohol Awareness Week your feelings and actions, Are they for control? To get your own way? To prove you're smarter? Or are they to try to understand so you can offer some meaningful guid- ance? ‘ Listen quietly to what your teen has to say. Don’t interrupt. You don’t have to agree in order to listen. : Accept each individual as a separate human being. This will allow you to help your teen in making his or her way to adult- hood. - Parents are perhaps the only constant in a teen’s life... Every- thing else seems to change daily. So even though your own life may change, you must not move away from the position of care. : Parents are people too. Some- times you need a helping hand. If communication with your teen has gotten beyond what you feel is within your power to repair, there are people who can help. Don’t be afraid to ask, : And finally, don’t give up, As in music, io communicate you first have to learn the notes. They may sound sour at first, but with a little practice you ensure fewer mistakes and better harmony in the future. A scene from SQUEEZE video, a series of short, high-impact Skits focussing on the pressures of life common to young teens. Sehr cee gts rt ME an : ee ees at 1 SRE nal OR PE a ee Pe ET iE ER i nl 2 oe rune rm gah naen