BEER in the LAKE (>

By WILLIAM REPKA

OME OF YOU might be sur-
prised to know that there
are 22 pints of good Cana-

dian beer at the bottom of Rice
Lake.

You would be surprised if
you knew that they belong to
Ernie who has no more use for
beer than he has for his right
leg, eye and arm combined.

We wouldn’t have even heard ©

about it, except for his loud-
mouthed brother-in-law Sam
who still can’t completely un-
derstand how it happened.

Sam dropped around for a
visit and told us the story.

“We had just finished the
last of Ernie’s two dozen, when
Ernie said — ‘Let’s go fishing!”

Sam told us, as he took the
third pint out of our fridge and
thoughtfully opened it.

“I suppose Ernie didn’t like
me calling him my rich brother-
in-law,” continued Sam reflec-
tively, “and telling everybody
how much money he makes,
and how stingy he is. What
really gets him going is when
I tell him he should get rid of
that Communist union of his.
All you need to get an hour’s

lecture on democracy, and how:

stewards and executives are
elected, and how staff are paid,
is to mention Ernie’s union and
Nikita Khrushchov. Oh, he gets
hostile! He even says I’m like
Barry Goldwater. Imagine!.

“Anyway, Ernie likes an ale
and when nobody else will have
one with him—he just puts up
with me.” Sam plunked his

TRAVEL

A holiday story

bottle on the table to show
that it was empty.

“When Ernie said ‘Let’s go
fishing,’ I knew he was mad at
me for that crack about his
union, but I knew there was
a perfectly good new. case of 24
pints in Ernie’s cooler — and
who ever heard of going fish-
ing when there was_ beer
around?” Sam pulled another
bottle from my fridge.

“We argued the point for a
while,” he continued, “and I
finally agreed to go if Ernie
would let me use his brand new

_rod and reel, while he used the

old one with the snarled up
line.

“I think Ernie was put out be-
bause I also took along his new
case of beer. And he was peev-
ed when he had to get the rain
water out of the boat by him-

self, but I couldn’t leave the

case for fear that Ernie might
just take a few pints and leave
the rest at home.

“Anyway, while Ernie start-
ed the motor, I opened the
case, and took myself a pint—”
at this point he quickly slipped

‘another from the fridge—‘‘and

then I got one out for Ernie

for all the work he had done,
and to ease his mind...

““Anyway, the case was start-
ed, and we went fishing.

“After we had been trolling
for a while, I guess Ernie
was feeling pretty full, so he
stopped the motor, and stood
up and was testing the wind.
Either because he was wobbly,
or because I shifted just a little
bit — oops — over the side he
went.

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“Now, I just couldn’t help
laughing, and as I reached over
to help him in, I accidently
knocked the brand new fish-
ing rod overboard.

‘J had grabbed Ernie’s foot
as he went over, and hung on
to it. Ernie is not much of a
swimmer, and with me a bit
foggy, he struggled —while I
just hung on to his foot—and
laughed — _ he-he-he-he-he-he.”
Sam has a high pitched,
squeaky, laugh. E

“Anyway, I finally dragged
Ernie out of the water — and
if you had seen his skinny
frame with those wet clothes
sticking to him with his hair
plastered over his eyes — well,
you'd have laughed too. When
I held the tire on my stomach
(it was sore) and laughed and
laughed some more — Ernie
couldn’t even get a smile on his
face.

“I. know I. shouldn’t have
done it, but I told him — he-he-
he-he — I told him that his
fishing rod. had gone over the
side.

““The brand new outfit?’ he
shouted and he looked as if he
was going to cry.

“Well, that did it. I laughed,
and shook — he-he-he-he-he-he.
He looked too funny for words.

“And, then, of a sudden, 1
thought he was going to hit
me. There was this look came
into his eye.

“Then the look changed. And
this is. the part you’ll never be-
lieve: I was just reaching for
another pint’—he looked sug-
gestively at my now beerless
fridge — ‘‘when he did the
strangest thing — he walked
over to the case, lifted it up,
and threw it over the side of
the boat.”

-“Can you imagine that?” said
Sam, still horrified at the
thought.

“Anyway, that was the end
of that fishing trip. Sort of
spoiled my day. In fact it
spoiled my whole summer think-
ing about it.

“Imagine! A full case!”

tant item: .

vertisers.

dazzle of the boss’s press.

for you.)

“There is no such thing as an independent press".
there is not of you who dares to write his honest opin \
and if you did you ‘would know beforehand that it wou
never appear in print. I am paid $150 per week for keeP
my honest opinions out of the paper I work for. Others
you are paid similar salaries for similar things and any ° ta
of you who would be so foolish as to write his hones | 4
opinions would be out on the street looking for another 7 q

“The business of the New York journalist is to fav :
at the feet of women and to sell his race and country " ‘
his daily bread. You know this and I know it and wha ql
folly is this to be toasting an independent press.

“We are the tools and vassals of rich men behind a | j
scenes; we are puppets: they pull the strings and we dan jy

That was said more than a generation ago. It i
truer today when newspapers have grown into larg® .
employers of labor dependent in the main on giant

it
This quotation should be clipped after you show !
around; it is an eye-opener for those blinded by the fr

side

J. $, Wallace

MONG those who answered the Want Ads this colum

ran weeks ago were A. T. MacFarlane of Ottawa, Jim

Doherty of Victoria, James Hall of Winnipeg, Dr.
Johnston of B.C. and Tom Smith of Vermilion, Alberta, be
with proper pride lists himself as an 89-year-old Commu!
Although this was not in the covenant, all received copies
of Hi Sister, Hi Brother because they took such pains e
supply the information asked for. Here is the most impo

John Swindon on retiring as editor of the New york :
Tribune was given a banquet by his fellow journalists |
One of them proposed a toast “to the independent pre
and here is how Swindon responded:

jons

ing

s evell i”
gcalé i”

A

(Dr. Johnston points out it can be found, with other
important ones, in Great Quotations edited by- Geore
Seldes and published by Lyle Stewart, New York. If it ue it I
in your library any progressive bookshop will order © |

You and HEREDITY ©

UADRUPLETS occur only
O once jin about 65, million

births — but one out of
every 90 births on this con-
tinent means twins! Twinning
is, for many families, an here-
ditary process. What else is a
matter of heredity? Much of the
talent and intelligence your
child will have is determined
by his heritage, though it’s
highly unlikely he will inherit
an exact replica of your nose—
one physical characteristic that
isn’t passed on as a unit.

The factor of heredity is a
matter of body chemistry. Each
parent has 24 chromosomes, full
of hundreds of clear, jelly-like

_particles, called genes. The

genes determine whether your
child will be fair or dark; blue
or brown-eyed; left-handed or
right-handed; even color blind
or tone deaf. It’s possible for
every couple to achieve any one
of about 300 million different
gene and chromosome combina-
tions — thus accounting for the
sometimes amazing differences
between two children in the
same family.
Old wives’ tales to the con-
trary, there’s no connection be-
tween genes that determine ap-
pearance and the genes that
create personality. Protruding
ears don’t denote stupidity. A

October 2, 1964—PACIFIC TRI

large mouth doesn’t indi
generous nature, and 4 1 we
chin isn’t a sign of mor

_ness. t ng

W tha

Doctors now kno neti

“Blue Baby” doesn’t 19 ove!
disease. The condition eA |
— prenatally —only nnetl
baby’s blood carries an nd ly
ed chemical substance? og
as the “Rh factor” — i a
mother’s blood lacks t ; 0
stance. With precaull?
possible or _ being ~ the
there’s little danger 1 4
“Rh positive’ baby, # oie
slight chance for a 5% a
There is still no WY of ’
the sex of your child "pet
there ever likely 10 ict
are, however, some Fi ah
you can make wil ey
amount of certainty: 1g eg

S

chances are 3 to ! ¥ ef | A
will also. be dark. Wega

Fa 0)!
If you’re counting & 4
tic inheritance from / gnc 3

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ancestor dating
200 years ago.

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