. Teens have a ‘solidarity’? that

final segment, these same teens

Teens and drinking

jin Terrace — part Ill _

drunk.this weekend’. We know
exactly what each other’s talking
about. And no one is really go-
ing to say anything.’” —

But you need more than an
empty house if you’re going to
have a party. — you need money,
too. .“‘Sometimes people will
share and go half and’ half,”’
says Brenda. ‘‘But it’s more like
you have your own money and
you buy your own bottle. The
people who are really into their
booze, they never share.”

‘So why party? Spending the
whole week looking for an emp-
ty house, trying to scrape up the
cash, looking for a runner — it
sounds like a lot of work.
Wouldn’t it-be easier to just stay.
home?

It’s peer pressure, say some
parents. But the kids: disagree.
“I think peer pressure jis way
over-rated,” says Brenda. ““‘I
think: it’s a bunch of garbage,”
says 14-year old Eddy. “I don't
‘even think it exists,’” says Deb-
bie. “I don’t either,”’ agrees

The first installment of this
series began with a description
of a “‘typical’”’ week by a group
of local teenagers. In the sec-
ond, the father of one of these
teens explained how teens have
the “upper hand” when it
comes to organizing an event.

parents haven’t — parents work
from the. isolation of their
homes while teens organize in
confidence as a group. In. this

explain how the partial truth is
better than a lie and how, from
their perspective, parents should
react when they discover the
whole truth. -

by Tod Strachan

While no real solutions are
presented here, reading between
the lines may provide some
clues. For example, a teen’s
typical routine may not be exact-
ly what parents think, and per-
haps it’s time that parents had a
little solidarity of their own —
get to know the parents of the
other teens in the group. On the

peer pressure,”’ says Cheryl.
“Ever.” ,

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Brenda. “‘I’ve never experienced —
- with Brenda’s approach. She

says that if she is allowed to go.

drinking then you’re out of the
house,’ then it does... You'll
make sure you don't. get
caught.” :
What Is the truth?
‘But how do you avoid being
caught? According to Debbie,
“The best way to get away with
something is to tell the partial

truth,” She explains that you
simply say, ‘‘Her-parents will be

out for a little while and: we're
only going to.have a few friends

" over.”? It doesn’t matter that ‘‘a

little while’ means the whole

‘weekend and ‘‘a few friends’

means 20 or 30 teens.
Brenda says that another way

. jg the casual approach — you

hardly see your parents. You.
simply say, “Hi Mom, Hi Dad.
I’m going out tonight. This is
where I’m going and I'll: be
home whenever your curfew is.”
She continues by saying you can
then go to your party, come
home by curfew, ‘Your parents
are probably asleep” and no
one’s the wiser. You follow the
same routine the next day, she
says, ‘And you hardly see your
parents at all... Unless you
get caught and then you’re
grounded.”

But Debbie has a problem

~ you hardly. see your parents.”?--

 Jieve the party-routine has no

Vifes 8 7

other hand, maybe the parents’
discipline, or lack of it, is forc-
ing their teen into isolation. .

Inspired by the Skeena Thea-
tre Arts program and the stu-
dents, parents and teachers in-
volved in it, these stories aren’t
fiction: they’re. based on an in-
terview with four local parents
and five of their teenage chil-
dren aged 14 to 16. They weren't
hand picked, They were volun-
teers who provide a cross section
of lifestyles, and what they have
to say is important. Because if
these kids are right, on any given
Friday or Saturday night, about
three-quarters of their school is
ata party somewhere in town,
and about half of those are

confidentiality the names of
people interviewed for this series
have been changed in the story).

Lookin’ for a home

These weekend parties aren’t
difficult to plan. All you need is
a home where the parents will be
out and a “runner’’ (bootleg-
ger), which these teens say are

outs. A&W and McDonald's are
two gathering points they name.

“You make your plans on the
phone in the evening or Pine
Grocery at lunch,” says 16-year
old Brenda, a Skeena Junior
Secondary student. “(While
you're walking home,’’ says
Cheryl, another teen. Or, “Even
at school during class,” says
15-year old Brenda. ‘You don’t
just say , “We're going Out to get

@ ‘Yes,

oT

admits that peer pressure does
exist, ‘‘In what you wear, what
you say, how you act.’’ But not
at parties, ‘‘I see people at
parties who are new, younger
kids,” she says. ‘‘And they say
‘Oh, can I have a sip?’ But.
nobody asked them — nobody
pressured them into it. It’s for
themselves — they want to. ex-
perience it for themselves.’”
Others agree with this final
analysis. Teens drink, ‘“To have

drinking (note: for reasons of |

' ple who are expected to drink

plentiful at downtown hang-—

out, her parents ‘set a. ‘curfew,
“Usually it’s a ridiculous cur-.
few,’’ and they wait up until she
gets home. Byt Brenda has an
answer for: this problem.
“Okay. Then you just say, ‘Hi.
I’m home.’ And you go to bed
and they go to bed... maybe
exchange a few words. Then,
you get up the’next day, say, Hi
Mom. Hi Dad. I’m going out.
What time do I have to come
‘home?’ .And over the weekend

So why party? Debbie finally

fun... because they want to,”
says Cheryl, ‘‘they like the
taste.’”

Pressure from both sides

But as the discussion contin-
ued, it became apparent that
teens may not fully understand
just exactly what peer pressure
is. Cheryl talks about shy people
who want to loosen up, OF peo-_

because they’ve been doing it for
so long. Some people drink be-
cause ‘“‘everybody else is doing
it,”? says Eddy.

‘Yegh,”? Brenda agrees. “But
you wouldn’t continue for that
reason.’” Is this true?

But for whatever reason, ~
many teens are drinking at un-

‘ supervised parties on weekends.
‘and how do they see this affect-
ing their home life? ‘If your
parents say go ahead and drink, |
then it doesn’t really affect it
that much,” says Andy, a
15-year-old. But, — “If your

But, admits Brenda, teens do
get caught from time to time.
And although she seems to be-

effect on her home life, getting
caught:can. “Then you end up |
spending the weekend in con- -
froniation with your. parents,”
she'says. And that can mean the
loss of freedom, a teenager’s
most prized possession, and
have a marked effect on home
Crime and punishment;
freedom and restriction —
So what’s the solution? If the
parents do their job, and keep a
rein on there teenager’s free-
dom, these teens believe their
lives would be pure misery. But

if teen has too much freedom

say some parenits, the cost of the
trouble they may get into coul
be far too high. ;
Debbie says her parents re-
strict her freedom and keep a
close eye on her freedom — but
she manages to go to parties
anyway. Cheryl talks - about
friends who have all'the freedom

they want, not because they're -

not loved, it’s just that they're
trusted — and they’re some of
the ‘“‘straightest’? kids she
knows. an
The parents who are listening
to their teens discuss these issues
are left with an age-old dilemma
_— every kid is different but they
all face the same dangers. Par-

ents’ ‘therefore have to’ make”

-tules and play judge and jury
too.

- Walking a fine line

“You want them to grow,”
gays Eddy’s mother. ‘“You have

to.’’ She says that kids are going .

to do things like go to parties,

up)

EVERYONE: WELCOME!
Dollar

“and if you don’t let them go -
‘now, they’ll just do it later. ‘‘It’s -

‘a really: fine line we walk,’’ she

- explains. ““You guys are.every-
thing to us... It’s scary.” a

' To make her point, she tells
the story of a teenage daughter ~
of a friend, ‘‘She was brought -
up super strict. She wasn’t al-
lowed to go out. She wasn't: —
allowed to date. Nothing... and.
now: she’s pregnant. The first
guy that came along and said ‘I -

- love you’, that was it, she wasa ~
pushover. _ pe oe

“And that’s a warning to -
parents,”’ she says. ‘We have to"
let you make up .your minds .
about certain things; so we're
changing the rules all the time. —
But we don’t want to change
them too much because we don’t
want to see you blowing your
lives, Being a parent, I think, is

‘the hardest thing in the world. |

It’s really difficult.”

Establishing a contract.

So how do the kids feel about _
this? They know what’s going
‘on. As far as their own lives are
concerned, they probably know _.
more about what’s happening —
than their parents ever will:
Would they handle things differ-
ently if they were the parent?

In general, the teens who -
talked to the Terrace Review
would offer more freedom, but -
at the same time more rules as
well — and there would be no
exceptions. And with these free-
domié and rules, they would also ©
set punishments in advance: — |
much like a contract,

When it comes to handing out:
punishment, however, they all
agreed that there’s a great dif-
ference between the teen who .
comes out with the truth and the _

continued on page 5

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