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The way
I see it...

by Stephanie Wiebe

Only a few weeks left before
the income tax return deadline.
On that subject, I thought ’'d
share with you some information
I’ve received about those tax
dollars we’re sending in every
year.

You know all that money the
goverment takes from your
paycheque, the money that keeps
this country moving, supports
programs to benefit all, and pro-
vides every citizen with basic
necessities for a decent life?
Well, according to the National

- Citizens’ Coalition, our tax dol-

lars are not all heading into educ-
ational, medical and social prog-
rams.
A list of grants endowed
between 1985 and 1988 shows
that the government gave out
$24,450 to study the "Fool as a
transitional figure in the historical
development of westem civilizati-

on." Heck, they could’ve saved
that money, and just asked me.
: About $13,500 went for a study

called "Yard Art: the social value
of lawn ormmaments". Gee, now
why didn’t I apply for that one?

I see lawn ornaments all the time,

and they’ve affected my life
greatly. Someone used'a $20,483
grant to study "The wife’s role in
food shopping for the family".
Had I only known they wanted
this information... And to think,
T actually cut out thirty-cent
cereal coupons.

If I'd known they wanted

“people to study idiotic, stupid and
_ unimportant subjects on the

taxpayer’s payroll, I'd. have
offered my own expertise. I could
study the social lives of slugs for,
‘Say, (en grand or less. I could
-examine the ramifications of
being shut up in a house with
two sick children for a week -- I
would’ve done that one for just a
few thousand. What about the
emotional toll taken by long
winters in the north? I’m an’
expert on that one. For a mere

"Our tax dollars are
not all heading into
education, medical and
Social programs."

seven thousand dollar project,
they only had to ask.

The federal government allo-
cated $10,320 to translate the
book If It Weren’t for Sex...I’d
Have to Get a Job, truly a Cana-
dian classic that should be avail-
able to all citizens. The Coalition
list doesn’t say what language it
was translated to or from. And it

_ only cost us $619,000 to put out

a newsletter about bananas, pub-
lished in the heart of banana

_ country — the French Riveria.

Here I am, writing this column
every week, as a sociologic study
of life in a small northern town,
and has the government sent me
a penny for this valuable contri-

bution to Canadiaif'tife?”’ They ~* *

must’ve forgotten.

I’m so proud to pay taxes to the
Canadian government for these
useful programs and studies. It
makes me want to sing "O
Canada" and wave sparklers
while standing naked on the roof,
a feat that I might get a good size
grant for if I take notes on the
verbal reactions of passersby. Or
what about the word "passersby"?
[I’ve always thought it sounded
funny, that it should be
“passerbys" — maybe [ could do
a Study about that, too. Five
grand oughta cover expenses.

Think about this when you're
filling out that income tax return.
Have a glance at the amount
you’ve paid, are paying or will
have lo pay. And remember that
this is National Citizenship week
~— maybe someone will get a
grant to find out exactly what it
is that people do to celebrate
such an occasion.

Kinda makes you get all teary-
eyed and patriotic, doesn’t it?

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fSports
Community news
Arts & Entertainment

OUTRIDERS OF THE CIRCUS appeared in downtown Terrace April 7 to notify the

Northwest that the Big Top is coming in a couple of months. Behind the makeup
and above the steamship-sized shoes are Terrace’s own Jake Terpstra (left) and
Ed Martin of Kitimat, flanking Ed's wife Doreen.

Photo by Nancy Orr

Send in the clowns —
-Shriner clowns, that is

The clowns were out in
numbers on Saturday, April 7 to
recognize the contribution that.
Canada Safeway provides by its
corporate sponsorship of the
Shrine Circus in our area.

Eric Johanson, Terrace
manager of Safeway, was pre-
sented with a special T-shirt by
the local club of Giza Temple by
Terrace members Bill Reynolds,
club coordinator, and Jim
Macintosh, club greeter, with
Leon Dumstrey-Soos of
Kitimat, .

The circus this year will be in
Kitimat June 23, with elephant
rides and a brand new two-ring

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circus, presented by a new com-
pany, Cardin Shows, which has
replaced the former Tarzan Zer-
bint Shows,

Behind the hoopla and clown-
ing of Shriners world-wide, in
the true tradition of clowns are
the two faces of comedy and
tragedy. The Shriners combine
their notoriety for fun and high
jinks with a serious commitment
to crippled and burned children,

According to Jim Macintosh,
who has been the local hospital
representative for over 10 years,
proceeds from the circus go to
support their many hospitals, in
Montreal with its emphasis on

arthritis, and in Winnipeg as
well as the longer established
Shrine Hospitals in Bellingham
and Portland. The latest project
of the Shriners is a new wing in
the Children’s Hospital in Van-
couver,

“We don’t forget our local
hospitals,’? said Macintosh.
**Last year, we were able to sup-
ply ECG equipment, including
two ‘‘Crash Carts’’ equipped for
emergency response which were
worth more than $2,300 each.”’

With the Shriners, free trade

in good humor and good works
has had no boundaries. .

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