Page 4, THE HERALD, Friday, August 11, 1978 Because it is undoubtedly a sensitive area, I have heen waiting for years for some other newspaper or commentator to bring the subject . So far, however, there has been nothing but silence, I am referring tc the fact that when it comes to advertising and commercials, men have no genitals, whatever. . From the time we were kids, nasty little boys used to grab dolls from the chubby hands of little girls to carry out the inevitable investigation which produced the finding that male dotis had “nothing there’. Female dolls tended to have some vestige of a “bust” and otherwise were fairly faithfully reproduced even to drinks and wets - but not the male counterpart. , Occasionally, it would be announced at- Christmastime ona national news program, that this oversight was being taken care of, and true- to-life male dolls would be on the market, Maybe - but if so, they never caught on too well, and I have never come across one, other than in some dirty joke novelty store. Recently, night after night, - whenever work permits me the luxury of watching evening television, I find myself sitting through one commercial after another, dealing with some article of - to use a favourite advertising euphemism - “feminine hygiene.” Since almost as far back as I can remember, body deodorants to conceal a woman’s natural “perfume” - have been huckstered on radio, TV and in magazines and newspapers.Occasionally an area of offending perspiration would be discreetly referred to. (Nearly always, though, it would be suggested that the source of feminine “embarrassment” was in the region of a woman's armpits. At an early age I once worked as a trainee in _ yarious Woolworths stores around New York, and found myself submerged in a sea of dress OTTAWA OFFBEAT By Richard Jackson Ottawa, - There’s nothing so terrifying to an MP coming up for re-election than a con- stituency aroused, And in Fat City there is only the one con- stituency that counts. The public service, - In Ottawa-Hull, the National Capital Region, comprising some seven ridings, lives the largest single concentration of public servants in all the and. There could be something approaching 100,000 of them, counting the public service proper, the crown corporations and ofher federal agencies, not to mention the consultants, supply houses, support services and allied enterprise all depending on the public purse. Count their wives and-or girls, their relatives and close friends, social and business associates, and the MP in Fat City is looking at perhaps as many as 300,000 votes. It’s more than enough toimpress your anxious- to-please MP in the run-up to an election. In fact, it’s enough to intimidate him. Am. intimidated they truly are. Ever since the Trudeau government brought in Bill C-28 to keep some semblance of control on public service salaries, perks and privileges, there has been political terror in Fat City. Not that Bill C-28 is all that outrageous. At, isn’t. ; In fact, it’s sort of sense-making. ; . It proposes preventing the public service from leading the national pay parade so that everyone else has to play catchup and inflation goes hopping and skipping towards an ultimately worthless dollar. It provides for a public service lockout to counteract public service strikes. It bars membership in public service unions to executive types drawing down in excess of an annual $33,350. And it generally takes the pay, pension, perk. and privilege bit out of the public service mouth. To say the public service is furious is a gross understatement. To report that the public service has sworn vengeance is simply to state that it has put every Liberal MP in Fat City on notice that it is out to “get” him. ; The unions have declared political war. And as in any war, all’s fair: harrassing the candidates, letters to the editors, signs on lawns, group demonstrations, pressure on the party and Prime Minister, even running public service candidates in opposition to the Liberals. The Conservatives -- slightly sneaky —- while making government restraint their party theme song, sing a different tune about the public service. After all, the Tories hold two of the seven Fat City regional ridings. . . frightened-out-of-his-wits What, then, can a Liberal MP do? Bill C-28 now is in limbo, in a Commons Committee, gathering dust until Parliament reconvenes, shoulda Fall election campaign not intervene. How to revive it — or appear to revive it? Organize a special committee, of course. A Liberal caucus committee, To “study” Bill C-28, work it over, and present it to Parliament as an “acceptable alternative’ to the tough legislation now in the works. The caucus committee, made up exclusively of Liberals, mostly from Fat City ridings, will water it down, soften it up and make it easy, even tasty for the public service to swallow. In time for the election, this Fall or next Spring. Sox in Advertising shields to order in various half-moon and crescent shapes and sizes, and a host of other paraphernalia I had no idea was on the market for women’s comfort. It was then I learned that women lived in an ‘almost perpetual flood of perspiration, body odours that needed concealing, legs that needed constant shaving by razors, depilatory creams or abrasive gloves; that they, had “busts” (but never breasts) that required padding or building up with a weird and wonderful assortment of ‘falsies” and padded bras that needed “‘up-lifts”’ “separations” and were measured in “cup” sizes. ‘It was just around that era, too, that daring experiments with new types of products for “feminine hygiene’ appeared on the New York market and were advertised in such ways that most male youths were no wiser after reading the advertisements - usually in such magazines as the Saturday Evening Post, Colliers and Liberty - than before. When, in discussions on the playground at school, the topic got around to such things, the boys eyes would fairly bulge in astonishment at the realization that “girls” bodies were capable of surviving such applications, insertions, and cevices, and some of the more modest among us would blush whenever a girl came near us and the thought flashed through our mpinds, On the whole, advertisements for female products of an intimate nature were master- pieces of concealment. One associated mature females with half page and full page ad- vertisements of women diving into swi pools, riding astride beautiful horses, or on the backs of motorcycles. Even now, - most of the time, one could easily assume the product is somehow an item to do with butterflies, birds, or Summer fields of woathrng OS Only Women Have Geni flowers. Even the matter of brassieres, if we ware to believe some of taday’s more daring TV ads., is linked with transformation into the wings of a dove- of a seagull, soaring into the skies. Young men, growing up today, in their teens, must be just as perplexed as we were, at their age. Perhaps more so - for then we never had to contend with the mystery of products described as having some connection with “light days” or “heavy days’ - and beautiful young women soaring off the inevitable diving board - but this time, actually being photographed from “daring” angles in closeups underwater. (In the old days the closest the diver ever got to being “geen” in water was a closeup of a head shot showing wet hair clinging to her neckline). | So much for the female advertisements, without going into the more crass commercials for “panty hose” with non-transparent “panels”, and other non-specific but obviously understood: by-the-purchaser special features. . Although women’s rights advocates keep in- sisting men get all the best paying jobs and, are presumably, thus wealthier than the ‘girls” competing for them, there are few - if any - products advertised for men that would lead one to believe they possess certain physical ap- pendages not found on women. ; “~ How is it there are no TV and few, if any, newspaper and magazine advertisements for “Jockstraps” - in various colours, fabrics, and styles? Nothing about “uplift” or “shaping” or “‘cleavage’’ or freedom of action. No men shown leaping off diving boards, or riding a horse or motorcycle with a “Warner Bros.’’ or ‘“‘Master’Form”' athletic supporter for instance. How come there are no ointments, salves, soothing creams or lotions specifically designed for men in those ‘‘sensitive” areas. Or powders or sprays that will prevent embarrassment at “It’s no use telling my wife to save money for a rainy day — she never shops in the rain.” Criminal Injuries Awards IN June For B.C. Shows Ugly Side of our “Beautiful” Land! The widow and three children of a man stabbed to death in his Prince George home by a young man whe is apparently mentally un- stable have been given the maximum total awards payable under the Criminal ies Compensation Act. ‘Criminal injuries com- pensation ia payable to victims of crime and their . dependents. The scheme is administered for the provincial attorney-general by the Workers' Com- pensation Board, The family of the Prince George man will recelve an award of $7,500 and support payments of $355 a month. Several lifetime pensions and a total of $78,777 in lump sums were awarded to crime victims during June. Most of the awards covered the coat of medical and, dental treatment and compensation for the victim's pain and suffering. A Victoria man, paralysed in a shooting incident two ears earlier, died from ronchitis as a result of the crime. Compensation of $377 a month to his widow and child will be paid and $1,141 funeral expenses. A Keremeos man slope his car after a man Ww some clothing at the wind- shield. He was then attacked and beaten by one of the two men who stepped him. His injuries, have led to brain damage and the victim now has loss of memory and needs constant supervision. He has been given a $7.5 lump sum award and monthly payment of $390. A woman who was the victim of an armed robbery received $11,154 which, in addition to money she had previous! been awarded, ught her award to the maximum amount payable, $15,000, Only one child survived an attack by her father, who beat her mother and their three children, then set their Delta home (on fire. The ° father was Iter committed to a mental hospital, The child was ewarded a mon- thly pension of $65 until she is 18. Awards were made to several victims of muggings and purse snatchings, A Lillooet man, aged 53, received $1,636; a 71-year- old Burnaby woman who was knocked down and had her purse snatched was awarded $502 and a Vancouver woman aged 65 received $1,600 for her injuries In another | purse-anatching incident. : Awards were made to various women who were raped. A 45-year-old woman was raped and beaten by a man who forced his way into her car and made her drive to a secluded place. Her compensation award totalled $3,548, A Prince George schoolgir! was awarded $2,016 and in two separate incidents where women were threatened with knives then assaulted and raped, awards of $2,202 and $1,560 were made. In another tase, an award of $4,800 was made to & woman who was 560 distressed alter being raped that she had to spend time in a psychiatric ward. Funeral expenses were awarded to the relatives of an elderly man who was attacked and killed in a Vancouver hotel, Funeral expenses were also paid to the family of a girl, found award for funeral expenses. Pensions will also be paid to compensate his family for the loss of child support payments he had been making since his divorce from the children’s mother. Five victims of © un- provoked attacka in or around beer parlours and clubs received awards. One shot dead near her former longshoreman Chilliwack home. recelved $12,000 for the in- Aman who was stabbed to juries that have left him with a considerable weakness in one leg after a fight in a Coquitlam club. death by a man later com- mitted to a mental hospital was the subject of another TERRACE/KITIMAT daily herald General Office - 635-6357 Circulation - 635-6357 Published by Sterfing Publishers PUBLISHER - Laurie Mallett EDITOR - Ernie Senior REPORTER - Donna Vallieres REPORTER - Jim Morris CIRCULATION Pat CIRCULATION Joyce KITIMAT OFFICE - 632.2747 Zelinskl . - Fish 692-2747 635-6357 Fublished every weekday at 3212 Kalum Street, Terrace, B.C, A member of Varifled Circulation. Authorized as second ciass mall, Registration number 1201. Postage paid in cash, return postage quaranteed. NOTE OF COPYRIGHT The Herald retains fult, complete and sole copyright in any advertisement produced and-or any editorial or photagraphic content ouvblished in the Herald. Reproduction is not permitted without the written permission of the Publisher. those “critical” times - such as a apecial date, or on the dance floor, or ... well, you know - the wa the ads. would have us believe is the case wi women? : In most close up photographs, showing men in suits, slacks and swim trunks, one would believe men are all virtually ‘sexless’ - possibly eunuchs. Body contours are flat - just like the male dolls little girls played with when we were kids, so long ago. Men- so the ads would seem to suggest - aren’t even bothered by such things as those horrible sounding “hemmorroids”. All the Preparation H ads. we have suffered through - generally portray a seated woman, with a large bulge in front, and the suggestion that, the product “shrinks painful tissue” leads the in- nocent male to imagine a proper application of the product she is praising would shrink that unsightly “bulge”. An And the same is true for most constipation remedies, This - not only on television com mercials, but in page after page of womens magazine we generally discover lying around dentists and doctors offices, - is enough to con- vince most males that women are a sickly sex, _ with all sorts of “‘intimate’’ problems, from acid indigestion and irregularities, and various weighted days, suffering from all kinds of per- spiration and odour and bodily supportive problems not visited (thankfully) upon mankind. How many other males, I wonder, beside me, . go to bed each night, thankful of not having to suffer the multiple afflictions nature has bestowed upon the unfortunate opposite sex? The other question, I have found myself asking, occasionally, is - ‘Am I different from all those men in the advertisements?’ The ones that are all so trim, flat stomached, flat hipped, athletic - never requiring patent remedies and obviously, without genitals? _ _POPE PAUL VI - Since the death of His Holiness Pope Paul V1, several days ago, the news wires have been tapping out item after item on the facts surrounding the birth, growth, elevation to the Pontificate, death and burial of the man whom the Roman Catholic world revered as Christ's Vicar on Earth. Following the historic funeral on Saturday, the presses and wire services will, for the next few weeks, be similarly occupied.with news stories surrounding the election of his successor. The massive media coverage is a solid in- . Gieation that religion is still front page news in the Year of our Lord.1978....and, undoubtedly, jwill remain so, for some considerable time, —.. It is also proof of the esteem the whole world: - atheist - Communist and _ theistic - denominational alike - holds for the office ‘of Holy Father and, for the man Paul, himself. Named for an even more famous Paul - one who travelled long, perilous voyages ‘‘in jour- neyings often” two thousand years before, throughout the then known world, Paul the Sixth broke tradition by his “‘journeyings often’’ while in office, and travelling even farther than that most famous ‘‘citizen of Rome” - St.-Paul, though by more rapid and comfortable transport ‘at.an advanced age but without suffering the misfortunes of the Biblical apostle. as So holy is the office of Pope-(the word means ‘Father') it is the dream of most of the world’s 500 million Roman Catholics to at least see the supreme Pontiff once during their lifetime. This hope is not confined to member's of that Church, since the Vatican is host to many heads of state, as well as famous personages who are non- Catholic. oo . Last year Skeena MP and Minister of State Iona Campagnolo - a non-Roman Catholic - travelled to Rome for an audience with Pope Paul. Terrace’s Father Jordan at one time visited the Vatican City where he “among many. thousands” at least had a glimpse of the Holy. Father. The magnetism, the respect and awe, - the “charisma” that the succession of popes has brought to that Office has not been matched by any other the world has yet known. With such a tremendous following, therefore, goes tremendous power and equivalent responsibility. Power that can be used towards the alleviation of suffering and poverty and injustice. Power that can be applied towards bringing peace between Jew and Arab. Power that can be directed toward the melting of nuclear swords into peaceful ploughshares. Power that can burst the prison bars where thousands are kept ‘n torture and solitary con- finement in the name of politics. And niuch, much more. . The HERALD joins the many millions of mourners around the world in paying tribute to _the memory of Pope Paul VI whose reign of office has produced such a tremendous response from every imagined corner of the globe. E.S. ang Coly, Fa Sm), Or hasa SUPER, | ‘Mb’ For you! .