™ card all th’ lessons we iver learn- i Pat Morrissy th’ ither day. has jist graduated from takin’ a post-graduate course in wan of } thim high-toned universities, an’ THE OMINECA HERALD, FRIDAY, MARCH 2%, 1925 ——— s 7 ae 5 : , Pat O’Hooley° Was Not Convinced BYLH,HOLDEN (Copyrighted, 1928, by 1. H. Holden, Cereal, “Dn thinkin’ we'd have t? die- ed in our youth—an’ some we didn’t learn—if the scientists an’ noosepapers could make good th’ dope they bin broadeastin’ late- ly,”? said Pat O’Hooley toa select bunch of eronies. ‘““Ye see, science has bin makin’ sich won- derful strides in th’ past dozen years that nobody knows jist * where he’s atapy more. M ivery dav they trv t’ rob us of a @ truth—or fwhat we fondly ima- # cined wasatruth—an’ I’m afraid t’ open me mouth in public fer fear of bein’ called a dummy. F They better let well enough alone an’ pay more attintion.to th’ They were ® alroight t’ live by whin I was a jad; an’ I’m thinkin that a lot of m these would-be reformers could tachin’s of th’ past. benefit by practicin’ more of ’em “T had a big arguminot wid Mr he’s full of strange new idjees. Ye should here him go on! ‘'Ye'll have t’ bYe’re a back number. loaded wid barnacles, whin you was.a bye.’ *“*T don’t catch yer manein, sez I. ‘* Well,’ sez he, ‘ye was taught a lot of twaddle about th’ Golden ‘ve heard that koind of talk be- Rule savin’ mankoind. Ut’s not] fore. - We'll carry on somehow. Almost Pat doin’ ut. Fer cinturies we've bin tryin’ t’ pull ourselves up morally by tuggin? at our boot straps. We've bin tachein’ th’ theory of benevolence, of education, an’ of environment. We've bin build- in’ hospitals an’ homes; improvin’ instruments for relavein’ distress. We've bin good-naturedly exten- purpose? wake-minded, physically unfit, lose ut intojrely. | years.’ . ; .| “ ‘Hold onl’ sez I. better than that?” * ‘No ye don’t,’ sez he. jist think ye do. sanitation, medical scierice, an’, din’ our care of th’ wake-minded an’ physically unfit—fer fwhat That they shall grow up, marry, an’ reproduce more an’ criminals fer us t’ look after. If we kape on as we are—tryin’ t? save society—we’re goin’ t’ A strame of" criminal blood is alwavs polluted; ut doesn’t change in a million T kiow "Ye Ut’s a matter th’ blood of th’ people; an’. are swellin’ th’ number’ of crimes daily. Th’ storm signals are up; ‘eurb this, iniquity, . civilization will go down’ in a deluge of cala- mity,’ sezhe, *\'Ob, I’m not wurryin’,’ sez I. 7 ne , | ‘Lakelge Vailey an’ unless somethin’. is done t’|§ d. Cook: was home for the week-end, The dance which was. to have been held: on Saturday last was Wid good governmint an’ ‘« “Th? old, foolish cry!’ sez he. ‘How'can ye have good govern- mint whin yer body politic is rot- ten? How-can ye elect compe- tint min whin. those who can’t think: won’t trust those. who can? Noine out of tin. voters can be stampeded wid a catchy slogan. Most. of thim “are childers men- tally; an” many of th’ politicians they elect haven’t sinse enough t? pound sand in a rat hole. No, sir, Pat,’ sez he, ‘if we are t’ continue a8 a great nation, if we are t? wax strong an’ become super-min an’ super-wimmin—an’ we ought t’ strive fer that—we must tie a piece of catgut on this artery of bad blood an’ Jet ut slough off.’ ‘“‘Arrahl’ sez I, ‘“That’s aisily spoken. Where are ye goin’ t’ begin, an’ where are ye goin’ t’ lave off? If you an’ I were t’ git tangled wid th’ tyin’ wouldn’t we postponed indefinitely, owing to thé weather, 9°” Renew your subscription today. The lowest temperature record- ed during the week ending March 25 was 80 degrees and the bigh- est 44 degrees. , Ed. Michaud has been elected a director of the Terrace Fall Fair Association. , cattle. This is Pat Praises Canada’s Beef A tribute to the excellence of Canadian cattle that are shipped to Great Britain appears in a. . recent issue of the ‘Review of the River Plate’, published in the Argentine Republic. Canadian cattle, thé writer states, are finished on grain and their flesh is of better flavor than Argentine alfalfa- or grass-fed The Argentine beef, he points out, has a splendid ap- pearance, but it does not equal in thickness or flavor the Canadian grain-fed bullocks. The of history that most of th’ crime make a big howl about Liberty? reform “yer: doctrines on society, Pat,’sez he, Ye’re Th’ world is not standin’ still loike ut did few. :hundred families. duce offspring. They have kep Jiver since. among the native-born of this continent can be traced back t’ a Instead of ehloroformin’ th’ parents—as society ought t’ have done—they were allowed t’ marry an’ pro- th’ courts busy an’ th’ jails full Bein’ allowed t’ run at large as free moral agents, these deginerates have polluted V'll sav we would—an’ so would all th’ rist. | As the majority. of accordin’? t’ yer theory—which would Jaye only a handful of super-min, yer skame is loike th’ t| moice proposin’. to put a bell on th’ cat. Yecouldn’t.dout at all, at all,’ *€ ‘There’s a way!’ sez he. ‘* ‘T have no faith in ut,’ sez I, wonders 4 Why? Because he takes Shiloh the minute he feels a cough coming On. He doesn’t let coughs ‘‘run their course’ and become dangerous to. himself and family. . —keep Shiloh handy and ward off a painful cough. Also gives quick relief cough, L and. all throat and bronchial troubles, Atyour draggist, 30c, 60cand $1.20 You do thesame A few drops works. _ in whooping bronchitis, quinsy, croup “If benevolence, charity, and tin- derniss can’t save society; let ut ‘| go t’ th’ divil, where ut belongs! Ye'can’t make a perfect world. Ut’s contrary t’ all known laws. In nature there’s always a strong an’ a wake. Wan dies an’ th’ other prospers; th’ rabbit becomes prey for th’ wolf; th’ plant mold feeds on the mighty oak; an’ th’ ignorance of th’ masses furnishes hands fer th’ builders. If vehad a race of super-min an’ super- ‘wimmen how would ve carry on?’ ~‘'* We'd manage ut,’ sez he, ‘an’ no thanks t’ anybody!’ “I'm thinkin’ ye’d have a purty difficult toime,’ sez I. ‘In order t’ have yer illigint society prosper ye’d have t’ have th’ very men ye propose t’ eliminate. Who would do yer biddin’? Who would kape yer lawyers busy wid foolish litigation? ‘Where would ye git yer aisy marks?’ Who would buy yer watered ‘stock, yer oil shares, yer gold bricks? Ye couldn't expect yer super-min t’ make costly mistakes! Jiow could ye quick skames, whereby th’ coffers of th’ sophisticated are kept full of cash, if ut. wasn’t fer th’. brainless -guys? inno toime. In th’ ind ye’d have t’ '|¢ form a servant clase; thin ye’d have t’ work on their. moinds until.ye made suckers out of th’ whole bunch; by that *l toime ye'd be roight back where ye are th’ people are ‘damaged roods’— |, Ut’s not worth worrying about. | put over suburban lotsales an’ git-rich- Ye'd foind yerselves agin a stone wall) ' break th’ hearts of enough super-min sez I.’ now;. 60 fwhy attimpt th’ impossible?’ — What Are Your Needs? . . j a ok —Look this over and tell us. We will supply your needs at a cost that will surprise you. _-None of these goods are odds and ends and none of them are shopworn. 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