& Wednesday, March 9, 1988

THE REVIEW 9781-2nd St., Sidney B.C.

~ worki
_troublé with my editor who says there will be ab
on this page with a note in its middle: saying I was any 2 and |

p m typing this on ‘Sunday. A religious day is not a . normal

g day for me but, if 1 don’t do it right now, |

‘blank space

didn’t work at.all this week.
This is not true. -

In fact, I’ve been darn busy. Is Lent and I’ve been too busy

giving up things to. worry about insignificant details like pub-
S.

lication dead

TPilbe in deep .

_ Page AS

NT S
‘ELECTRIC aad rELLITE SYSTEMS.

652-01 67

2142 KEATING X ROADS
a In my youth I always gave up candy for Lent. It was tough i (SEABOARD PLAZA)
-@ Sledding for six weeks but the wonderful sense of successful retire early. ;
. sacrifice at the end. was worth it. The loss of a face full of zits Bribes, under $100, by persons hoping I'll write something .
was a side benefit not to be ignored. nice about them will be returned to sender. —-
But now eschewing candy for six wecks or so seems.a bit I will not buy a Rolls.
childish. I'll hold onto the current zit crop and instead stick to Or an Edsel
really meaningful adult sacrifices. Ora kiddy car.
_T have given up sleeping until noon. When the alarm rings al - Or a toothbrush.
11:30 a.m. I arise no matter how much my head hurts. Twill not watch the Olympics on on TV. Nor Ryan’s Hope, Gen-
T imtend. to ‘avoid entering all: lingerie shops. r will not even, > T will not bet the Canucks will win the Stanley Cup this season
‘loiter around outside one, - or any scason.before 2001. :
I will not move to the Cayman Islands. There are plenty of Ca- _—__—T have given up wringing ‘the last 18 drops from liquor bottes —
nadians there already. Neither will I visit the New Hebrides or —_- to win silly bets in bars. |
| Iceland.» I no longer do one-arm or finger- lip p pushups. Or bench press
- mt will not dine at Sardi’s or in Buckingham Palace. Sony Your anything over 450 pounds.
| Majesty, but that’s the way it’s got tobe. T have decided to not buy a 40-foot ketch and sail around the
- Lintend to avoid ingesting chocolate covered ants, candicd San Juans. However, I could be convinced to tag along as crew
‘grasshoppers: and jellied rooster Jips no matter how hungry I for any lady Captain in need. (Arc. lady Captains called
feel. - ‘Captainesses’? J don’ tknow.)
In spite of pleas by my near and dear, chang gliding lessons. = -—- No matter how depressed I become, I will not read books on
8 - will intend to climb no higher than the top step of pruning trees or Hitler’ Ss sexual fantasies. Especially i if they're i in
— cor fortable split-level.

. ‘not accept any offer to replace M Madame Sauv

y ave given up my desire to become a

i vote and wit 7

the same book. .

” Wild | horses, as the cliche gocs, will not drag me to the t rack | will not enter a beauty parlour and ask for a manicure - -ora a _
vi dll aot aot pedicure, #100 9810-7th st. “Mariner
_ «Twill not vote ina municipal election.

| not attend any heavy metal rock concerts.
7 mportant of all, I will take Miss E die
never, during Lent, cal more at one sitting | than Ican Tift.

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