INSIDE COMMUNITY EVENTS B2 JUST A ‘THOUGHT |. KATHY FLORITTO You wanna buy a what? F YOU'VE purchased (or are thinking about it) your first com- puter, you’re very likely confused. If you haven’t actually bought the machine yet, you probably want to make the best pur- chase for the least amount of money possible, But what if you don’t know the difference be- tween ROM and RAM? And all the salespeople tell you is ‘“‘decide what you want to do with it and go from there.”’ You can’t get the answers you want unless you know what questions to ask, yet how are you supposed to know the right questions if you qualify, as I did, for the Computer Dummy of the Year Award?? If the computer monopolizes a corner of your home and it’s installed with programs that are Written just for neophytes like you (there’s that “dummy”? word, again), you’ve already dis- covered that although those computer words look like English, they’re not, Some time ago, a ‘net friend of long slanding sent me the following: “Having worked in a computer company for a few years, [’ve gained an insider’s perspective aid have decided to share my knowledge with the uninitiated by creating the following brief, handy glossary: Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for * ‘doesn’t work."” Beta: Sofiware undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released, Beta is Latin for ‘‘still doesn’t work."” Computer: Instrument of torture, The first computer was invented by Roger ‘‘Duffy’’ Bil- lingsly, a British scientist. In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised himself as a Ger- man ally and offered his invention as a gift to the surly dictatar. The plot worked. On April 8, 1945, Adolf became so enraged at the “Incompatible File Format’? exror message that he shot himself. The war ended soon after Hit- ler’s death, and Duffy began working for IBM. CPU: Central propulsion unit, The CPU is the computers engine. It consists of a hard drive, an interface card and a tiny spinning wheel that’s powered by a running rodent — a gerbil if the machine is a 286, a ferret if it’s a 386 and a ferret onspeed if it’s a 486. Default Directory: Black hole. Default direc- tory is where all files that you need disappear. File: A document that has been saved with an unidentifiable name. It helps to think of a file as something stored in a file cabinet - except when you try fo remove the file, the cabinet gives you an electric shock and tells you the file format is unknown, Hardware: Collective term for any compuler- related object that can be kicked or battered, (Be careful with this one - it kicks back!) Help: The feature that assists in generating more questions. When the help feature is used correctly, users are able to navigate through a series of Help screens and end up where they started from without learning anything. Memory: Of computer components, the most generous in terms of variety, and the skimpicst in terms of quantity. Printer: A joke in poor taste. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. Reference Manual: Object that raises the monitor to eye Ievel, Also used to compensate for that short table leg, Scheduled Release Date: A carefully calcu- lated dale determined by estimating the actual shipping date and subtracting six months from it, User-Friendly: OF or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense only to a programiner. ‘Users: Collective term for those who stare vacantly at a monitor, Users are divided into three types! novice, intermediate and expert. «Novice Users: People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their com- puter, ‘Intermediate Users: Peaple who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it. |. *Experl Users: People who break other people’s computers. It's sald that the funniest lines are those that are true. If that’s so, you should be rolling on the floorby now! If you're not even grinning yet...buy that com- putert! ue ; me coe ee oe Ee lb be TERRACE STANDARD Terrace looks at the 3 R’s" By CRIS LEYKAUF TERRACE IS ON its own for recycling. That’s the word from Wendy Clement, of Kilimai Understanding the Environment The recycling group recently held ils last drop off day in Terrace, and col- lecled a whole semi-load of paper and cardboard to recy- dle, ; “We just did it as a one- year project to raise aware- ness,’’ says Clement. About 200-300 people came out to take advantage of the last recycling op- portunity. One woman brought a truckload of mag- azines, some dating back to the 70s. , “Phe demand and the in- terest is there,” says Cle- ment. **But it’s a need that should be filled locally.’’ The Kitimat-Stikine Regional District is looking Fred Sturby into that question, Directors have asked for ‘expressions of interest’’. from local businesses who want lo set up some sort of recycling arrangement. Under those guidelines, that would in- clude companies and indi- ‘viduals interested in'a wide variely of projects, such as composting, . “It’s not just paper and plastic,’” says Roger Tooms, RD works and services manager. . Companies or individuals have until October 7 to sub- mit these informal propasals . to the RD, ‘‘We’re just trying to get a handle on. who’s out: there and what they can provide,’’ says 'Tooms. This will also let the RD know how much money it might reasonably expect to kick in for such projects. Right now the RD is worried about how much it needs to spend fo upgrade landfills to bring them up to government guidelines. Once that’s determined, it will see how much is ieft for any recycling programs, Those recycling programs are required under the governmenl’s Solid Waste Management Plan, in order to reduce the amount of material going into landfills. Tooms coulda’t say when the public might expect to see a recycling program sect up. . However one applicant -is caper to slart as soan as pos- sible. KITIMAT UN DERSTANDING the Environment (KUTE) recently held its last recy- cling day in Terrace. They collected a seml-trailer load of paper and cardboard with the help of volunteers. Now KUTE or its own recycling depot. oe The Terrace Correctional | Centre is interested in sct- - ting up a camprchensive recycling program, They have land on the outskirts of rectional centre building, next to Hwy. 16 west. Fred Sturby, an instructor at the centre, says they’re mitment. “LT think is long over... due,” says Sturby. He’s hoping for govem- ment moncy to build.a recy- cling centre of at-Ieast 5,000. * around interested in Jong term com- , .$q. ft “And we might have to Stockpile stuff when the market takes a dive,” says ~ Sturby, town, just outside the cor- . If the correctional centre wins the recycling contract, Sturby says there would likely be depots set up town for public drop-offs. Then a contractor would deliver the materials ta the centre. ; The big advantage for the correctional centre is having a “captive” labour pool. He expects the recycling centre’ From meat pies to waterbeds A BARBER’S chair is transformed into aa instru- ment of death in the upcom- ing, one-act play, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, It’s a chair with some mither special features, and director Russ Sangster is looking forward to secing how the audience will respond to it, T’s a perfect backdrop for the farcical black comedy in which aclors’ faces are overly made up, and ges- tures can be larger than life...or death. ‘We're playing emotions big,” explained Sangster, “but playing them well.’’ The setting is London in the 1830s, Sweeney is a bar- ber on Fleet St, and his girlfriend is a meat pic vendor whose store is ad- jacent to the barber shop. The two devise a get-rich quick scheme, which in- cludes a neat aud tidy meth- od of disposing of their vic- tina’s bodies. The lead role of the barber belongs to Daniel Bamswell, and his girlfriend, appropriatcly tamed Miss Miucey, is played by Julie Jacobs. The duo tangle with a health inspector — Jack Heartwright and Miss Min- cey’s apprentice, Cherry Goodenough, played by Lisa Worth. “T’s a fun, physical play,”? says Sangster. ‘‘[t's meant to be lighthearted. *’ And it involves all. the right ingredients — greed, love and murder. This vaudeville style of acting is quite new to the Terrace Little Theatre, but Sangster says the actors have adjusted well. ‘Actors by nature need lo be challenged. They need to explore ‘their own limita- tions,”’ says Sangster, He also credits the comt- munity for helping out with - the play, designing the set, doing makeup and more, : Slace the season of spooks and jack-o-lanterns is al- + _ pow Sas ANNA AND WESLEY (Nancy Stone-Archer and Patrick Mcintyre In real life) en- joy a cup of sherry while deliberating over what bed to buy, They're the main characters in Midnight Madness, one of two one-act plays Terrace Little Theatre Is putting on, starting tomorrow night. most here, Sangster has also wrilien a short preamble to the play which features a zombie, played by Jim Branch, and his good wife, played by Cheryl Spencer, Sangster is sharing the stage. wilh another first-time director — Diana Braathen. Both plays run the sate evening, and that’s meant some compromises on the scl and for rehearsals. “It’s been interesting,’’ admils Sangster, Braathen echoes that sentiment, but both say any difficulties were resolved fairly easily, And some of the com- promises, like a surprisingly’ realistic painled wood Noor. have ituried: into something | positive for both plays. Braalhen’s’ — prodietion, Midniuht Madness, is on the — other end of the draniatic ee ee oe ee a ee ee ee ee very beginning, 1° spectrum, It’s a modern comedy, with undertones of serious drama, about two people who mect again after gradu- ating from the same high school 14 years ago. The play is set in the bed- ding department of a large store. Anna is looking for a bed during a sale, and Wes- ley, the second floor man- ager, helps her test a few mattresses. There’s to hanky panky of course, al- though a bottle of sherry docs play a role, : ‘“T chose this play from a big stack that Gordon Oales handed to me,” says Braathen. ‘This.one jumped out al me right from. the could . visualize the production.’ As 4 first. time director Braathen wanted ta stick to -_ ‘aaa _——" a small production, and since she’s working with a fairly novice crew, that turned out to be the best de- clsicn. “It’s Been an incredible leaming experience,’’ she says. Branthen has been in- volved with a couple of pro- ductions, and says that from the beginning she fell a desire to direct. It's a crea- tive outlet for her. “Well, 1 don’t do music, and ] don’t paint or draw,’’ she laughs. “It's the process of being able to create something in conjunction with the entire cast and crew — something that everyone will enjoy." Opening night is tomor- row, October 3. For ticket information see City Scene lestirays, would keep about four to five inmates employed every day. Currently the inmates are building picnic tables, as well as signs and outhouses for the forest service, They'll keep doing that work, but Sturby secs a recycling program as one which could provide an ongoing, steady source of income to offset costs, and would provide a community service. “We wal to start on this oe Around Town Helping the blind NEXT WEEK, October 7-13 has been proclaimed as CNIB Weck in Ter- race. The Canadian National Institute for the Blind is looking for support from Terrace residents, Canvassers will be in your neighbourhood next week, [f you can spare an hour or two to help can- vass, call Alice Neufeld al 638-7819, Garden fresh FIRST CAME com- munity kitchens. Now the Terrace Anti-Poverly Group Society wants to Start a community gar- den, It’s pretty much like it sounds, A garden jointly planned, grown and har- vested by a group of people. Each gardener pays a small fee to join, which gocs to the pur- chase of secds and sup- plies. The anti-poverty society thinks the garden idea would likely appeal to low income families who don’t always have access to fresh vepela- bles. A garden would provide healthy food in a way thal would allow gardeners to be Indepen- dent, and not forced to tely on charily. “Gardeners would take care of planting, weeding and harvesting. All (hat’s needed is the land, and that’s what the anti- poverty group is asking city council for. Council has referred the matter to its recreation comunittee, | toe Te