Wovember ee 1938

Ssh SE

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THE PEOPLE’S ADVOCATE

Page Sever

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Oe eA yo 86 By

*“Hot Stove’’ beeen Roce ibles

Turn Chamberlain
Loose on Ruppert’s
Murdering Yanks

By “LEFTY.”

FMR. CHAMBERLAIN woula

Sive up his efforts toward dis-
memberine Czechoslovakia and
come over here and concentrate
on dismembering the New Work
Wankees we might be willing to
forgive and forget some of his
past offenses.

Here's the case for breaking
up the Yankees, and a mighty
good case it is, too:

Czechoslovakia is a peaceable
country, harming no one and
threatening mo one. The Yankees
are a murderous bunch of citi-
Zens who constitute a serious
threat to the continued existence
of any manager whose name
doesn’t begin with M.

The aforesaid Yankees have
anschlussed nine-tenths of the
best baseball material in the na-
tion, often without the formality
ef a plebiscite.

They have thrown terror into
the hearts of most pitchers in
the land and threaten to cause
a definite Shortage of copy paper
for a sportswriter’s consumption.

We suggest that an interna-
tional commission be called—
taking Montreal, Buenos Aires
and Jersey City as foreign dele-
gates—to subdivide the Yankee
real estate. If and when such a
body meets we are ready to sub-
mit the following proposals for
an early dismemberment of Mr.
MeCarthy’s nine little angels of
peace:

i. That Joe DiMagzio (herein-
after Known as Lot 1, Section i6,
Township 348-A) be permanently
retired from baseball as an anti-
social threat to league pitching
records.

2. That Frankie Crosetti be
eeded intact Gyith all fortifica-—
tions, defensive and offensive,
left in A-1 condition) to the city
of San Wrancisco. If, as Heywood
Broun put it, he doesn’t like the
American League, why doesn’t
he go back where he came from?

3. That Red Rolfe be given
back to Dartmouth as a visiting
professor of slugging, larrupping
and applied vivisection.

4. That Charles (Red) Ruffing
be traded to St. Louis Browns

‘

for a case of Pilsener and an op-
tion on Freddie Hutchinson.

5. That Joe Gordon, Lou Geh-
rig and Tommy Henrich be neu-
tralized and made a protectorate
under Judge Landis. To keep
these boys active, the Judge
might require that they play ex-
hibition games against full nine-
Man teams from other clubs in
the American and National
League.

6. That Bill Dickey be traded
to the Montreal Canadiens in the
Wational Hockey League and
that Myril Hoag be sent to Oak-—
land in the Pacific Coast League
as a relief pitcher.

The commission could then pro-
ceed to arbitrate the matter of
Lefty Gomez, Monte Pearson,
Spud Chandler and George Sel-
lsirk. If they could arrive at no
decision, the boys might be al-
lowed to yote on their choice of
teams.

e

HIS would effectively solve

the problem of lack of com-
petition which confronts the
majors again next year. Unless
Something drastic is done, we are
willing to venture out on a nice
Strong limb (diameter 2 feet, 9
inches) and predict that the New
York Yankees will win the pen-
Nant again next year. Look at
the prospects.

As everyone beyond the fourth
Srade in Kittyhawk egrammar
school knows full well, the
Yanks have first, second and
third mortgages on Newark and
Kansas City. That’s where they
got Gordon and that’s where they
plan to pick up whatever bracing
material they need next year. And
do you think
league ball in Newark and Kay-—
cee? Well, the two clubs played
eff the Little World Series as
representatives of their respec—
tive loops. Kaycee won, but as ali
the wise guys know, it was just
one set of prospective Yanks
playing against another set of
Ruppert rookies.

Monopoly? Hell, it’s worse than
Kreuger’s Swedish Match Trust.
We just hope it makes a big
noise when it explodes.

they play bush 93

ANS

Bill Weng, 19-year-old Ontario-
born Chinese, 2nd a member of
Western University’s Canadian
football squad. So far as is known,
Wong is the only Chinese holding
down a regular booth on any
team in the Bast, including the
Atlantic seaboard of the United
States.

Hockey League Schedule |

Sunday, Nev. 6, Portland at Spo-
kane.

Monday, Nov. 7, Portland at Van-
couver.

Wednesday, Nov. 9, Portland at
Seattle.

Thursday, Wov. 10, Seattle at
Portland.

Thursday, Nov. 10, Vancouver at
Spokane.

Saturday, Nov. 12, Vancouver BE

Seattle.
Sunday, Nov. 13. Seattle at ‘Spo-

kane.

Wonday, Nov. 14, Seattle at Van-
ecouver.

Wednesday, Nov. 16, Vancouver
at Seattle-

Wednesday, Nov. 16, Portland at
Spokane.

Thursday, Nov. 17, YVancouver at
Portland.

Saturday, Nov. 19, Spokane at
Seattle.

Sunday, Wov. 20, Vancouver at
Spokane.

Monday, Nov. 21, Spokane at
Vancouver.

Wednesday, Nov. 23, Spokane at
Seattle.

Thursday, Nov. 24, Spokane at
Portland. :

Friday, Nov. 25, Seattle at Van-
eouver.

Saturday, Nov. 26, Portland at
Seattle.

Sunday, Nov. 27, Portland at Spo-
kane.

Wionday, Nov. 28, Portland at
Vancouver. ~

Wednesday, Nov. 30, Portland at
Seattle.

Thursday, Dec. 1, Seattle at Port
land.

Thursday, Dec. i, Vancouver at
Spokane.

Friday, Dec. 2, Spokane at Van-
couver.

Sunday, Dec. 4, Seattle at Spo-
kane.

Wonday, Dec. 5, Seattle at Van-
couver.

Wrednesday, Dec. 7, Vancouver at
Seattle. :
Thursday, Dec. 8, Vancouver at
Portland.

Saturday, Dec. 10, Portland at
Seattle.

Sunday, Dee. 11, Vancouver at
Spokane.

eee ee Dec. 12, Spokane at
Vancouver.

Wednesday, Dec. 14, Spokane at
Seattle.

Thursday, Dec. 15, Spokane at
Portland.

Sunday, Dec. 18, Portland at Spo-
aoe Bec. 19, Portland at

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