MONDO ARTIE
EPISODE #6070
"The Sleuth Lips Report"
by
Glenn Lewis

NARRATOR: Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Mondo Artie,

LTS: Light over Narrator
whenever he's speaking

Episode #6070, The Sleuth Lips Report. It is a story of high adventure

and off when he's not

and low jokes, disguised identities and surprising turns, the ridding
of art, e r , urn, the unravelling of the riddle of art. This is the true story.
It is morning, 1979. We are in the hotel room of FBI agent, Lieutenant
LTS: spotlight comes on S.L.2
LP. Grant, known as 'Sleuth Lips' to his buddies. Sleuth Lips is lying

in bed, stays on when
SL is speaking or when

In bed, half awake. He's dreaming of his FBI training,

SL2 has an action

except the instructor is wearing a shark fin bathing cap. He's bothered
by this. It doesn't make any sense.
SLEUTH LIPS 2 turns over without opening his eyes.
SD: Fade in Radio Announcer
RADIO ANNOUNCER:

In England today, it was disclosed that

LTS: spotlight on radio announcer
and oft when finished,

Anthony Blunt, Keeper of the Queen's Pictures, has been a Soviet
spy for over 30 years. Buckingham Palace has declined comment.
And now the weather. Temperatures are normal for the middle
of November. South Coast: wind warning. High 10 degrees, low 5

SD : Fade out Radio Announcer

SLEUTH LIPS 2: suddenly sits bolt upright in the bed, eyes open.

SD: Fade up music Daphne & Chloe
SD: Fade down music. Keep music

SLEUTH LIPS: That's it! There must be a connection. The brother of

low when actors are speaking,
continuing throughout

Art Rat was called Mr. Blunt and he was a radio announcer. It must
be a huge international art conspiracy. I must remember it all, think back.
SLEUTH LIPS 2: He flops back on the bed, closes his eyes and drifts off.
NARRATOR: Now Sleuth Lips seems to have drifted into the Intermedia
building on Beatty Street in Vancouver. It is afternoon in1968.
SLEUTH LIPS: (to himself) This is just the place to look lor draft dodgers.
NARRATOR: He enters the building, peers around suspiciously, a bit taken

FX: door closes

aback at some of the strange-looking sculptures and electronic 'things'
FX: footsteps
He carefully walks through this maze-like environment without seeing anyone,
finally coming to a stairway. At the top is a door which he opens, emerging

FX: door opening

into a very large open, white space. There are a number ol people standing there.
SLEUTH LIPS: Hello, My name is Ian Grant. I'm looking tor a relative ot mine,
Byron Black. He's a film maker, an American. I thought you might know him?
HELEN GOODWIN: Yes, I am Helen Goodwin and this is Gary Lee-Nova

LTS: spotlight on Helen
Goodwin and off when

or Art Rat and this is Gathie Falk and Glenn Lewis. I haven't come across

finished. Spotlight all
actors when speaking

him but there are lots of artists that come to our performances. Maybe he'l

and off when finished,
continuing throughout

attend. If you came to some of our performances you might see him there.
SLEUTH LIPS: I don't know anything about performance. Could you fill me in?

HELEN GOODWIN: Well, lets see. In Vancouver, the Festival of Contemporary

.

Arts at UBC, started in 1961 and every year since. I'll do something there this
year as well. The first Festivals had dance works and a lot of poetry but none
of it had come together into what could be called performance art. In 1965
Ian Baxter probably did the first performance work at the Festival. It was called
Beauty Through Destruction and Disintegration which melted two tonnes of ice
FX: water sounds
by flame, air and rain. At the same time, a number of us, Sam Perry, Al Neil,
Gary here and others did our performances ot dance, music and film together
This was the spark for Intermedia and performance works. Along with Ian, Arthur
Erickson, Abe Rogatnik and Tak Tanabe, I organized the Medium Is the Message,
a multisensory public environment at the same Festival, all based in McLuan
of course. In 1966 at UBC Ian Baxter was wrapped in clear plastic inside a four
room apartment where everything was wrapped up in clear plastic. He was a bagged
man in a bagged place - the ultimate consumer environment. In 67, last year, Michael
Morris did the Beach Party Swim In at the Douglas Gallery which was lined with plastic
FX: wave sounds
and flooded. Hot dogs and cokes were served while life guards gave sun tan lotion

*^y
): surfing music

massages, accompanied by surfing music and slides ot beach parties. It made me
confront pop culture. Are you any wiser now about performance art from what I have told you?
SLEUTH LIPS: Yes... I think I can get a feel for it now. Thanks. They do seem to be
about simple things, don't they? When can I see some of your performances?

• '

4.
GATHIE FALK: Actually you'll be able to see some performances at the Intermedia
Nights show at the Vancouver Art Gallery soon. Glenn and I are doing pieces.
SLEUTH LIPS: Great, I'll come. I'de like to take a photo of you all. (to himself) Glenn
Lewis has a remarkable resemblance to Adolf Hitler. There's something fishy going on.
SLEUTH LIPS takes a camera out of his pocket and snaps a couple of photos.
NARRATOR: Sleuth Lips has entered the Vancouver Art Gallery
It's an evening in 1968. He watches several performances, including
'Skipping Rope' by Gathie Falk and 'Flour Piece' by Glenn Lewis

FX: skipping rope sounds

SLEUTH LIPS: That was quite dusty. It can't be too good lor you if you do it often.
GLENN LEWIS: I've only done it a couple of times. I like the cloud it makes. Then I do
my introspective circular raking ritual. I don't think it's particularly entertaining
but probably could be fascinating.
NARRATOR: Sleuth Lips is now at the Douglas Gallery in Vancouver,
Morning,1969, talking to Gathie Falk about the performance she is about to do.
SLEUTH LIPS: Why would anyone want to throw eggs at you?
GATHIE FALK: They probably can't resist it. For me it's like driving through a
heavy egg storm. Eggs and shoes are staples in my store of art images,
but I also like to create sets or props which are like sculptures in
themselves that I use in some of my performances. These props are
pretty ordinary too, the sort of stuff you might find in a thrift store.

FX: end skipping rope

5.
SLEUTH LIPS:

Is there some connection between the food in the various

performances - eggs in yours, flour in the Glenn Lewis work
and then there's the Ed Varney Kitchen Piece. What's cooking*!
GATHIE FALK: Well, it's probably because art is close to life and these foods are
familiar and easy to work with, like colouring with wax crayons. But we're also
getting ready to do performances for the Pierre Trudeau Fund Raising Dinner.
SLEUTH LIPS: Are you talking about the Prime Minister of Canada?
GATHIE FALK: Yes, of course. By the way, did you find your American relative?
SLEUTH LIPS: No, I didn't. Excuse me, I have to go now.
SPECTATORS: throw eggs at Gathie Falk who has goggles on.

LTS: spotlight on Falk

NARRATOR: Sleuth Lips has returned to his hotel room. He's phoning his
Washington headquarters.

FX: dialing

SLEUTH LIPS: Yes, I know I am looking for draft dodgers, even if I haven't
found any. But I have uncovered some sort of plot, I think. There
may be some sort of conspicacy against the Prime Minister of Canada
and has something to do with food or signaled by food. Ha ha!
Oh, that's good, you think he might get egg on his face. Ha ha.
know you won't believe this, but that is exactly what I think
may happen

Un huh, o.k. I'll get back to looking for draft dodgers.

FX:hang up phone

GATHIE FALK: exit egg throwing
GLENN LEWIS & MICHAEL MORRIS: tie up part of audience with blue tape.

LTS: Falk spotlight off

6.
NARRATOR: Sleuth Lips now finds himself on the steps outside the
VancouverArt Gallery on a sunny afternoon in1970. About 20 art
critics are standing on the steps of the Art Gallery. Marcel Idea
FX: background sound of critics
discussing, art jargon

and Flakey Rrose Hip are winding blue flagging tape around them all
The critics are standing, talking to each oilier as if nothing was going on.
Photos are being taken. Sleuth Lips is talking to the photographer.

FX: photo snapping

SLEUTH LIPS: What is going on?
PHOTOGRAPHER: It's the 1970 meeting of the International Art Critics
Association. The artists are showing that criticism is limited, that it is a function
of the art itself.
SLEUTH LIPS: Excuse me, are you Marcel Idea? Hi, I'm interested in the
performance. Could you tell me what this is about.
MARCEL IDEA: Well, it's akin to the red tape ot government or institutions.
This is the blue tape of the art world, only the artists have reversed it in
this case and tied up the art critics. They are part of the art world but
they have become tied up in their own criticism, their own world
which is not the same as the artists' world. The critics are forever
tied to Winkelman and his gaze whereas the artists are looking in
another direction. Also this kind of event generates real news coverage
and gives it added authenticity that far surpasses the best critical reactions.
FX: finish photo snapping and
GLENN LEWIS & MICHAEL MORRIS 2: finish taping audience, exit

art jargon

NARRATOR: Sleuth Lips makes notes on all this. Now Sleuth Lips is
sliding Into an evening in 1971 at the Vancouver Art Gallery. Tom Graff
is performing 'Portable Vermeer'.

He's in a period costume, reading

about the history of tulips and someone is bringing in cut-out

wooden

tulips and placing them on the silver and white floor tiles. Sleuth Lips is
watching. He consults his notebook studiously, a look of surprised
pleasure dawning. The page is entitled: 'Draft Dodgers1, and in the
list of names is 'Tom Graff. Sleuth Lips writes, 'in 17th Century Dutch
disguise', beside the name. Oh

FX: pen scribbling

now Sleuth Lips is fading and reappearing

on the Vancouver Court House Steps on Georgia Street in the afternoon,
FX: whooshing sound
He sees a huge, knitted, sock-like thing. The Evelyn Roth Moving
Sculpture Company is snaking along Georgia Street. The Company is
humping up the Courthouse steps curling around Tom Graff who

Rr 3 note aria sound

is singing an aria. The coil gives a breath-like heave and Tom Graff

FX: whoosing continues,

disappears before his eyes. Sleuth Lips rushes up to arrest Tom Graff
but the Company uncoils and knocks Sleuth Lips over, moving off

FX: bump, uuumph

quite quickly, flowing down the street.

FX: whooshing fades

SLEUTH LIPS : (rubbing his head) Oh, I was so close. I must be dreaming.
NARRATOR: It's now 1973. Sleuth Lips enters the Vancouver Art Gallery.
ANNA BANANA 2: enters, takes photos ot spectators holding Mona mask.
NARRATOR: He encounters a reproduction ol the Mona Lisa with the face

FX: rubbing head

cut out and a bubble sign stating, 'Face Up to \he Mona Banana Smile Test.
Have Your Picture Taken'. Visitors are having polaroids taken of their
smiling faces in the missing face of the Mona Lisa.
ANNA BANANA: Say fromaggio. Great! The polaroid will be ready in
a minute. Here's your Degree of Bananology. I'll just write your name in.

FX: photo snap
FX: pen scibbling

Are you next?
SLEUTH LIPS: No, no, I'm fine. I don't need to smile thank you. No photos
please. I already have a degree.
ANNA BANANA: Really! What's your degree in?
SLEUTH LIPS: Oh! Urn...Criminology.
ANNA BANANA: That's a perfect match. You have to get your Degree in
Bananology now to go with your Criminology.
SLEUTH LIPS: No, no really, I can't.
ANNA BANANA 2: exits with Mona mask
NARRATOR: Sleuth Lips quickly escapes out ot the gallery.... And now

FX: quickly retreating
footsteps

he's reappeared at the Vancouver Aquaiic Centre, It's evening, 1973.
The New York Corres Sponge Dance School of Vancouver is swimming
in shark fin bathing caps. Sleuth Lips is swimming around the pool, trying
to listen to what Lady Brute and Flakey Rrose Hip are discussing
while they are doing the Ester Williams stroke and sculling.
FLAKEY: What kind of backstroke did she do?

FX: splashing

LADY BRUTE: I don't know, she just smiled a lot while swimming.
She probably smiled underwater too.
SLEUTH LIPS : Agggg, there's something nibbling at my toes.
FX: splashing finished
NARRATOR: Sleuth Lips quickly gets out of the pool.... He now finds
himself outside the Vancouver Art Gallery on Georgia Street in cloudy
FX: city sounds, cars
conditions in the afternoon, 1974. The B.C. Open Art Race is taking
place with contestants: Anna Banana, Mr.Peanut, Dr.Brute, Lady Brute,
the HPSedan Bottle, Dadaland, Art Rat, Mr. Candyman and Mr. Potato
with Hitler, presiding as the judge. Sleuth Lips is watching from the sidelines.
HITLER: Ya, das iss der wreal master race. Neine iss der performann art crapen!
Ve must guarden against alase newe art und shake und bake. Vere
iss der glockerspeil, der rhinemaidens, unci der vienerschnitchel?
Vere habe all der Ludwigs gone? I van! der grossen painting und
der hero sculpture, der valse, der barbershoppen quarteten und der
Blue Nun. Himmel! Anna Bananen iss der vinner. Gotunddamerung,

FX: crowd cheers

I bet der zwei marks on Herr Doktor Brule, Das fraulein slippen in da
first placen... Das iss vunderbar Frau Bananen. Du hab vun der master race.
NARRATOR: Hitler presents Anna Banana with the first place ribbon.
SLEUTH LIPS: (quietly to himself) I knew it, I knew he looked like Hitler.
Is there a Mr. Rrose Hip? Which is the disguise?
NARRATOR: Oops, here's Sleuth Lips on the Vancouver City Hall steps
On a cool, sunny afternoon in 1974

FX: city sounds finish
FX: new city sounds

10.
JOHN MITCHELL: I urge you to vote for Mr. Peanut lor Mayor.
Vote for a clean slate, a blank canvas.
DR. BRUTE: poses with leopard skin saxaphone
NARRATOR: Mr. Peanut does a little tap dance, Dr. Brute and
his band are playing leopard skin saxophones and
SD: song Peanuts from.
the Peanettes are singing, "Peanuts From Heaven".
SLEUTH LIPS:

Mr. Peanut, do you expect to become Mayor?

JOHN MITCHELL: He doesn't speak for himself, I do the talking,
I'm his campaign manager, John Mitchell. He won't become
the Mayor. It exists on many levels but he's running
$#&\ Peanuts song finish
successfully to prove that politics and news media are an art form.

FX: new city sounds finish

NARRATOR: Now here's Sleuth Lips at the mudflats in North
Vancouver on a sunny afternoon in 1974.

FX: bird sounds

LADY BRUTE: Look out, get out of the way!
NARRATOR: Sleuth Lips moves away quickly. Lady Brute is in a
leopard skin outfit with wings made of large cut-out hands, hanging
from a cable, high up on the drydock
LADY BRUTE: (as she hurtles down on the cable) Aggggggrh!
NARRATOR: Lady Brute has flown down on the cable. HP
help her off the cable at the bottom.
SLEUTH LIPS: That was breathtaking! Why are you dressed
in a leopard skin outfit? And why do you have hands tor wings?

FX: whoosh sound

11.
LADY BRUTE: All I wear is leopard skin clothes. The wings are
the hands of the spirit. You know, the spirit soars. I'm testing them.
SLEUTH LIPS: Really, That's very interesting. Goodbye and thank you.
I saw her before. Right.... she was swimming, now she's flying.
She lied. She wears shark fin bathing caps too. And nows she's
wearing wings. Testing hands for wings? Secret testing eh.
NARRATOR: The scene fades and Sleuth Lips now sees himself in the

FX: bird sounds end
FX: party sounds

Western Front auditorium. It's evening, 1975. He's at the Amy Vanderbilt
Valentine Ball. The Vignettes are debutantes, singing, and Amy is sitting in
an armchair. Her face is obscured by a hat which looks like a large lamp shade.
SLEUTH LIPS: Excuse me Miss Vanderbilt, but...
AMY VANDERBILT: Go away, can't you see I am suffering with a
broken ankle. Oh, it's the death of etiquette, the death oi etiquette.
SLEUTH LIPS: (moving away) Is she really Amy. She had a mysterious death.
Suicide from a second floor window or was she pushed? This Amy has a
broken ankle, broken jumping out the window? She looks like Glenn Lewis.
Could that be?

FX: party sounds finish

NARRATOR: Sleuth Lips finds himself still at the Western Front office but it is
morning and 1976. He's peeking through the spyhole into the Western Front
auditorium. He watches Michael Morris, Vincent Trasov, Glenn Lewis, Dr. Brute
and Lady Brute (the staff) seating themselves around a table. While getting himself

12.
comfortable for the meeting, Michael Morris accidently kicks a sleeping shape that is
under the table.
AL NEIL: That's right! Kick a man while he's down
MICHAEL MORRIS: Oh God! It's Al Neil again! He's all wrapped up in the piano cover!
NARRATOR: Al Neil rolls around, pinching toes and grabbing ankles.

FX: rustle, bump, crash

STAFF : Aahh.. oohh... eeeh.. ooh..ahh, etc
NARRATOR: It's fairly confused as the stafl move away from
the table. Al Neil rolls out from the table and the piano cover, jumps
up , runs over to the piano and starts to piay. The staff troop back to

$$&: Al Neil piano music,

the table and continue their meeting. Sleuth Lips decides he's not
going to get any further clues or leads. He leaves

It's now the
J£&\ piano finishes

evening of June 1, 1976. Sleuth Lips is in his Vancouver hotel room,
sitting at a desk. He dreams he turns on the radio, to the Co-op

FX: radio dial tuning

station. He listens carefully, taking notes.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Welcome to another exciting episode from the
Lux Radio Players coming to you live from the Vancouver Tart Gallery.
Tonight we have a veritable feast for you, Habitart or How to Live With
FX: ra.. ta...ta...ta
Your Just Desserts. As usual, our scene opens at the Radio Cafe....

FX: door opening, closing

S O N I T W I N : Give me a hot x bun Mavis.
FX: putting plate down
HOT X BUN

Oh Soni you have to help us. Something is rotten in the

State of Bunland. There's a gingerbread housing shortage. The Earl

13.
of Sandwich is under attack by the Duchess of Mayonnaise and
Ragaemuffin, leader of the revolting Brownies has been imprisoned
in the Earl's Gateau Bunratty. It's the upper crust against the lower crust.
Sandwich is in a jam. You could bring piece of cake to the land again.
SONI: I'll eat my words! A talking bun! O.K. I'll help. If I eat this bun and
crawl into the microwave, I'll be transformed into Hansel and Pretzel and
zapped to Bunland. Bob, you and Mavis can watch events in Bunland
through the microwave window. Weee, another adventure

FX: chomping
FX: Zzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeee

Oh God! We're right in the middle ol the batter. Quick, jump

Buppp, bang, ching, thuk!

over that wall. Now where are we? Oh! Look out! Sandwich's Pillsbury

FX: Weeeii....plonk

Doughboys are after us

FX: biff, grab sounds

Take your mitts off me! Come on you guys,

who ever heard of dunking pretzels in a Champagne fountain.

FX:

splash

Where are you taking me now?.... That must be trie Earl of Sandwich and
his wife, Ladyfingers.
LADYFINGERS: Who is this, Earl? With a full scale batter rising outside,

FX: bubbling

you only seem to be able to produce a soggy pretzel.
EARL:

It was captured by the wall. But my dear, I thought soggy pretzels

were more in your line of work.
SONI: What do you know Earl! You're just a smelly old cheese burger. Toast!
EARL

How dare you cast nasturtiums on our encrusted name.

You are bunished to the bungeons. Away with you.

FX: marching sound

14.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Later in her honeycomb atartments we see
Ladyfingers talking to her daughter, Patticake.
LADYFINGERS: It won't do! And now that he's behind crispy crunch
bars in the bungeons you will not be able to see this uptart, Reggaemuffin,
PATTICAKE: Since when were you the spotless doily. I know all about
your association with the Muffinoso, dealing junk food and granulated
white to the cold turkey sugar caine junkets. You've got a finger in every pie.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile in the bungeons
DUMB WAITERS:

We'll throw you in the tortilla chamber. It's very prune

mouldy in there with all the torture apparatus: the moulie, the blender,
the quick grill, the fondue pot, the meat grinder, the corn popper, the
cherry pitter, the mortar and pestle, the juicer.., the garlic press, the...
SONI : O.K., that's enough. I get the picture. I'll be processed. Let's see,
gourmet pretzel crumbs for sprinkling on cheese fondue? I'm reeeealy scared.
DUMB WAITERS: Reeealy! How about toasted Pretzel and Reggaemuffin?
FX: toaster pushed down
We're putting all of you into the four slice toaster. Uh, there. You all look like
pop tart stars. Ha, ha, now we set it to dark brown.
PATTICAKE: Take a breakfast boys! I'll just switch the dial to light brown and

FX: cLcLcl..click
FX: door bangs open
cLcl. .click

jump into the fourth slot of the toaster. Wheee!
ALL: We'll All Pop Together When We Pop' (sing to the tune ot 'She'll Be
Coming Round the Mountain)

FX: clunk

15.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: The toaster pops them all up and out of the

FX: ck..cling, ck..clink,
ck..cling, ck..clink

Gateau, separating the two pairs. Patticake and Reggaemuffin
land on Blueberry Hill and Hansel & Preze! go straight up and down
and land in the Earl's Court of Ti
FX: plunk!
SONI: Uhh, that was a peanut brittle landing. Oh, who are you?
J$0\ Holy or creepy music
HOT CROSS BUN: I am The Hot Cross Bun, the Holy Eucharist,
the Great Religious Potentato, keeper of Sarah Lee's Forbidden
Fruit, Holy Cheese Whiz of the Miracle Whip Cult, guardian of the
Magic Baking Powder Room for Bunland, But how did you get in
here and why do you have those licorice chains on? Here comes
the Earl in all his sandwich spread, the Charlotte Russe Guards and
-SO: Holy music end
Pillsbury Doughboys. You can answer to him.

FX : rustle, clink, swish

EARL: Ah, I see you have escaped the Bungeons. Nevermind,
you are forgiven. I was hasty pudding. My .fillings were hurt.
Release it's licorice chains.
FX:chunk
SONI: Hooray! (twirls a Doughboy)
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile, Reggaemuffin is filled with
cream teelings about his neglect of the political responsibility
to the Brownies as their leader in the class strudel against the
FX: crash, splut, bing
upper crust. He leads a brownie blintz attack into the Court of Trifles.

sizzle

16.
REGGAEMUFFIN: Unless you give us an ear, Earl, the mixture stirred
up by our mix master will curdle. Ladyfingers is having her cake
and eating it too. She and the cut-throat crookies, the Muffinoso,
Donuts Duncan, Shorty Bread and the blood-thirsty Ali Rhum
Baba, the Lemon Curd, have been making a mint julep at your expense.
EARL:

I want the proof in my pudding!

REGGAEMUFFIN: O.K. Look, here's a sugar caine junket going cold turkey.
JUNKET: (sobbing) I'm a lowly fallen tart, like thousands in the lower crust,
I have a heavy sugar habitart - five pounds ot sugar and jam a day.
Ladyfingers and the Muffinoso control the franchise.
EARL: Well, that's a halva torte!
SONI:

Earl, you're in a pickle. We'll go to the Duchess of Mayonnaise

and try to settle the hash. You don't need a batter on top of Ladyfingers'
trifles. We are at your sterling service.
FX: ra.. ta...ta...ta
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile, back at the Radio Cafe, Bob Cumming
and Mavis are peering into the microvave.
CUMMING: The plot thickens, Mavis, er, takes a turnover lor the worst.
MAVIS: Yeah, the Earl's wife is a tough cookie.
CUMMING: Well, let's peak in on Ladyfingers 1 treat, er, tweet, er, suite
and see if she really is the bad egg she's crocked, er, cracked up to be.

17.
LADYFINGERS: O.K. boys, the heat's on. Liquidate all stockpots
of sugarcaine before the dentist finds us. Donuts, take the
glucose; Shorty, the lactose. I'll carry the fructose. Sanka will let
FX: scrunch, shuffle, shuffle
us out by the salt cellar.
FX: Bang, bang, bang.
EARL

Ha, there you are my sweet. I've found you out. You're a

junk food pusher. Dentist, arrest her!

Twang! (door swings open)
FX: rushing footsteps

LADYFINGERS : I hesitate to taste the bubbling pot, I use no yeast
nor leavening upon the spoon. I do not favour watercress at noon,
it bears for me the flavour of a prune. Tumultous pan dowdy and the
crumpets bound, a lonely cry tor angel cake, mere gingersnap...you my
faithless husband fear the shame of overbake, while I, have more at steak.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Now that he has dealt with one problem the
Earl sends H&P across the border of prunes with a maraschino
cherry to the breadquarters of the Duchess of Mayonnaise.
Hansel & Pretzel are quickly whipped into the Duchess of
Mayonnaise's Famous Club House. She is very friendly and invites
H&P out for a night at Hamburg's bars, to see how the lower crust
really hangs out. They hit the Chocolate Bar, the Mars Bar, the
Cappuchino Bar and now the Nanaimo Bar. where all the Brownies
strut their stuff. The Duchess is disguised as a Turkish delight,

FX: bar sounds, laughs

18.
SONI:

We'll have a strawberry wild and an andro gin lor Mayo.

Who is that singing'*
HOSTESS TWINKY: Oh, that's Crepe Suzette and the Croquettes.
SONI; Thanks, I'de like to talk with her. Could you ask her to come over.
CREPE SUZETTE: So you want to talk. What's on your plate, pretzel?
SONI: We're helping to deflate the soutfle before all our geese are cooked.
CREPE SUZETTE We're fed up with you tutti frutti middle crust.
We slave all day in the garnish industry, for a mere cherry pittence,
so you butterballs can cream off the top. You live off the fat of the
Earl, while we starve in one room soggy hard lack hovels in a
five-layer infested flour. We're jammed and squashed on the
underside of this cheesie burger, exploited by sugar plum fairy
pushers and a fruitless bun fight that's milking us dry. If Mayonnaise
and Sandwich were open-faced they'd get together like that pear,
Patticake and Reggaemuflin sweet talking in the chocolate booth over there.
DUCHESS I have to leave for the batter front. I just heard it was rising.

FX: bar sounds finish
FX: Door closes.

DUCHESS: The time is ripe. The Earl and his yeasty crullers shall bite

Eggbeater starts up,
Shouts in distance

the crust for once and for all. We'll use all four burners. Colonel
Saunders will open fire with heavy cream pie shelling, which will allow
General Foods to set explosive chili jelly along the left flank of
the gateau. That'll take the stuffing out of them. Admiral Egg Beater,

19.
take your navy beans out onto the Sea cl Meringue and let go with
the shoo tly pie missies. I rnyselt will drive my Winnebago! and lead
the animal crackers in a polished cutlery attack."
FX: ra.. ta...ta...ta
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile at the Radio Cafe, Camming is
commenting on the batter to Mavis.
CUMMING: The butterscotch saitines in theii bright maraschino

FX: batter sounds, shouts

jackets are loading up with burnt almond cream shells, while in
the distance we see the Earl, rancid and raving, hurling jaw breakers.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: The batter ot blood pudding rises back and torth.
Let's take our microphones and pop-over to the muffin tins where
gingerbread men are pouring hot fudge from Ihe batterrnents.
EARL: Tally Ho my sweetbreads!

COL.SAUNDERS: The world's a sauce and we

Give 'em a teasspoon catapult

mere saucy tartars in it!

full of cod liver oil, that'll

Attack! Colonel Grey's lime

get their yokes up! And follow

chutney must not be allowed to

that with Kung Fu chop suey,

throw the first spearmint! Send

we're not egg beaten yet. We'l

for the Trojan boxes with the

show the Duchess what crabmeat

crackerjack guards inside

tastes like...won't we boys!

BEEFY TARTARS, This is a job

BOTH SIDES: throw buns at each other across the rotunda, buns fall on spectators.

for Eno.

20.
DUCHESS: Bring up the pound cake

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOYS: We'll give

battering ram!

smell, m'lord!"

BEEFY TARTARS: We're getting it in

EARL: That's it lads. Pass the
fluffy rice round the table to

the buns! They're throwing mince

the pestles." "OK lads, don't lose our

pies at us! And mounted

Dutch noodles! She's all ill wind and

souffles!"
GEN. FOODS: Oh! For delicacies

deadly fighting talk. We'l

sake! Help! Here comes Eno!

show 'em! Break out the jelly
beans, we'll blow 'em to bits!"

Look! Over there!
DUCHESS: Bring on the empty

EARL: Crackling cornflakes, she'
sending out her sterling cutlery

horses! The cutlery will show

division. But we're ready for them.

Sandwich who's on top of who's

Number One Rotisserie-fire! No. 2

on top around here.

Rotisserie fire!

FX: Bang-sizzle

No.3 Rotisserie-fire! (quiet)

No. 3 Rotisserie where are you?
PILLSBURY DOUGHBOYS; We've
Had enough, m'lord!
EARL: Colonel Grey, I give you

BEEFY TARTARS: Why have the Brownies
settled down over there?
What are they doing
DUCHESS: I think they're

orders to shoot these three for

leditating with the

custard in the face of the enemy

Maraschino Yogurt.

COL. GREY: Yes, m'lord

FX: Bam, bam, barn
(3 shots) Screams!

21.
BEEFY TARTARS: Who are they
EARL: . A Rotisserie-fire
No.5 Rotisserie-fire! Come
lads. Let's take 'em in their
skins now.

FX: bang-sizzle

praying to?"

FX: bang-sizzle

DUCHESS: The Immaculate
Confection, of course.
DUCHESS: Hey Sandwich, how about
a break for lunch?

FX: Silence

EARL: OK, everybody out to lunch
DUCHESS: Break's over boys!
Light the ovens!
Pepperoni them!

FX: Resumption of batter
EARL: Let's get 'em off guard

BEEFY TARTARS: Oh no, Candy

lads with my special BLT:

the dancing Cane bit it

sizzling bacon, limp lettuce

with a spearmint,

and sliced tomatoes on two

COL.SAUNDERS: Poor Candy, just

rounds of burnt toast, and a few

graduated with a M.A.C.

shells up their snouts... Oh!

from Hamburger College.

Rise up boys! They're peeling

Always the sweetest that go first.

In a full frontal attack.

DUCHESS: Hold your flambe, Col. Grey

COL. GREY: I really curry naked

has his white flag up!

bodies.

Sound the dinner roll!

beating.

22.
EARL: Prepare for an attack on

GEN. FOODS: But Duchess,

all fronts. Man the heavy celery,

he's put it back again!

all units to well-washed positions.
DUCHESS: They're breaking through
Sargeant, give the order to fire
our trench mouths! Open up with
fish sticks and poptarts!
the Batterie de Cuisine!
EARL: What a basting blast! There's spittle (ailing everywhere.

FX: Huge explosion
followed by smaller

Look out!

ones, falling rock, etc.

DUCHESS: Big Rock Candy Molar has erupted from the jowells
of the earth spewing gallstones! Molten saliva is flowing everywhere!
FX: rumble, slush, gurgle,
We'll all be consumed!
EARL:

Saliva, saliva! Sandwich will be digested!

SONI:

We must get out of this drooling mess, if only we could

find the fortune cookie. The secret inside might save the leftovers.
DUCHESS: I wanted the fortune cookie for myself, it's in the
Earl's gateau, in his microwave facility, protected by wild fritters.
REGGAEMUFFIN: You'll never make it to the gateau. The Earl's
burned his bridge mixture behind him. Duciiess there's no crumbs
to lose! Our only hope is to make it to the Sea o! Merangue.

continuing

23.
DUCHESS: General Foods, stop the batter. Get the crackerjack
guards out of the Trojan cakes. Batterie de Cuisine cease fire!

FX: Finish batter sounds
BOTH SIDES: end bun
throwing

Recall the Mounted Souffle. Command the sappers to find a
way through the black forest cakes and jelio trees to the Sea
of Merangue. Round up every available animal cracker to carry
anything that floats, orange floats, lime floats, even coca cola

FX: rattle, rattle,

stumble
floats. Where's my sauce boat?
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile H&P have arrived at the moat
which is rapidly filling up with saliva. It climbs into an abandoned

FX: drooling continue

rotisserie and catapults itself over the seething, drooling mess

FX: sizzle, zing, splat

into the gateau.

FX: distant drooling
continue

SONI: Quick, throw these jaw breakers to the wild fritters. Goody.

FX: Clunk, clunk, clunk
FX: creak

Look here's the fortune cookie in a microwave. Now, the message.
It's an invocation to Bunwoman?
HOT CROSS BUN : Ah, tis Hansel & Pretzel returned. I fear the
vomitous turn of events may cut our acquaintance short.
But what have you there? Oh, it's an invocation to Bunwoman.
Our last chance perchance. I'll just try it. Boil, broil, spoil and

FX: whirling sound
growing louder

bubble. Fry, dry, pry and sprinkle. Bake a cake, take out garbage.
Catch a napkin as fast as you can. One bun, one bun.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Bunwoman materializes out of the microwave.

FX: whirling ends

24.
BUNWOMAN: Give me that flag, standard bearer. Have you ever
wondered why your flag was a hundred yard square napkin?
Just watch! I wrap the napkin around my large body, ha, ha, roil

FX: whoosh, slurp

my hips, and look, all the saliva is absorbed by the napkin. Now
I'll flick it off into the Sea of Merangue. There! I hope you have

FX: flick

all learned that you cannot have your cake and a bun fight too.
There must be an alliance; the world wants to be a wedding cake.
HOT CROSS BUN: Brush you, Bunwoman, baste you. Throughout
the war I have conducted secret negotiations with Ali Rum Baba,
in preparation for a major bake test, and now I have an announcement
to make. We have returned Ladyfingers from banishment in Hungry
to bestow her blessings on the wedding ol the Earl and the Duchess.
CHORUS: A toast to Sandwich. Cheers!
REGGAEMUFFIN: Me and Patticake are gelling married too.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile back at the Radio Cafe:

FX: ra.. ta...ta...ta

CUMMING: Mavis, you should see this. There's a mad rush for the punch

FX: trample,
party sounds

bowl and everyone's getting pie-eyed.
HOTCROSS BUN: Now, if you'll all gather around the throne ol the
Blanc Mange we'll begin the ceremony. Dearly befrosted. we are
garnished here today, under the glaze of our goddess, to join four
people and three peoples in the flaky risen she!! ol holy matrimony

25.
cake. Does anyone knoweth why any of these tour should not be
baked together in the benediction of Pam. Please rise.

FX: Rustle, rustle

RADIO ANNOUNCER: Hot Cross Bun conducts the marriage ceremony.
They all promise to cherish and lick each other, in sweetness,
in tartness, in aspic and under glaze.

That's all folks!

Thank you for swallowing our pride tonight.
SLEUTH LIPS: Whew, I don't know, don't know if I car] decipher that.
I'll have to send it back to Washington for decoding.
NARRATOR: it's nightime at the Western Front in 1978. Sleuth Lips
arrives late and stands by the door, most ot the audience is seated
in front of him listening and watching The Canadian Shadow Players
in their performance of 'Vis a Vis: A Sliadow Opera in 3 Acts'.
SHADOW PLAYER LIVE: appears with goat mash
SHADOW PLAYER M: Finale, bon ton. Speech bon mot?
SHADOW PLAYER F: En garde, Illusion est penumbra bianco.
Ombra est film carte blanche. Ergo, image fakir sum allure
mystique decor. Ergo, illusion kidnap realisrne.
SHADOW PLAYER M: Big winner! Bingo! Illusion kidnap
realisrne. Extra bueno, monsieur. Gold medal opera olympique.
Danke, danke.
SHADOW PLAYER F: Joie de vivre. Public relations fracas.

FX: party sounds end

26.
SHADOW PLAYER M: Basta basta. Sayonara.
SHADOW PLAYER F: Aloha.
SLEUTH LIPS: (to himself) Good grief, this is even worse than that,
er, Habitart thing. Can't understand a thing. Pure code.
SHADOW PLAYER M: Biens. Bon voyage big quiz entr'acte. Presto,
Gazelle, por favor, quiz acte trio vis a vis?
SHADOW PLAYER K: Acte trio, archeology, algebra der opera is
fugue tete a tele, Pro et con, voici romance, voici, kultur liaison.
Voici blind date touche. Symposium congress denouement.
SHADOW PLAYER M: Automatique missile traffic? Atomic tabloid?
SHADOW PLAYER K: Oui, oui. Ecco homo courrant. Antique lingua kaput.
nouveau ex jive talk. Deus ex televisione, combo surprise party nite
club climax.
SHADOW PLAYER M: Postcard jargon.
SHADOW PLAYER K: Yes. Consensus calenda, circle tempus.
Society revolution annuel, Bolero. Psycho kinesis, network
telepathy cassette census. And, avis ties important: duet. Duet,
vis a vis masculine tete a tete, feminine an pair alter ego combo.
Natur silhouette and penumbra kultur. Duel de lingo et tempo....
SLEUTH LIPS: (to himself) Oh, I've gotta get out. (He leaves)
NARRATOR: In Sleuth Lip' hotel room, several nights later.

27.
FX: dialing
SLEUTH LIPS: (picks up the phone and dials) Hello, Delia
did you find that news clipping on the Canadian Shadow Players?
Great. I couldn't understand a thing. Could you read out
the bits about time and language and .... Oh, I don't know.
DELLA: (over the phone) OK, ah, quote, "The performance began
with a statement about time. On the screen we saw the face of a clock.
The shot of the clock was held for what seemed like hours; in fact,
it was just a few boring minutes... But suddenly the clock turned into
a bicycle wheel. Ah, motion of another kind. As the wheel was then
superimposed on to the clock, we were presented with an imagistic
translation of the Greek concepts of time, kairos and chronos: time
as sheer monotonous passing, and time as events, as structure.
All around streamed the 600 words of the InternationalVocabulary...
The themes for the afternoon were time and language. But the most
entertaining part of the show was to follow in the form of an opera sequence
introduced in the International Vocabulary by two commentators,
one of whom had the face of a highly sophisticated goat, complete
with an elegant strand of pearls around the neck; the other, the
disarming features of Dracula. In superbly (nodulated Euro-cultural
tones, they ottered their comments on the opera which was due to
come upon the screen at any second. "Tempus fugit continuum

28.
ad nauseum," remarked Goat Lady with a hint oi ennui, cleverly
sneaking the time motif into her patter. No sooner had her
charming companion mentioned the possibility of a super fetish
aria when slides of a jungle burst on to the screen and out marched
a pygmy who proceeded to sing a long, wonderful solo: "Air de lune,
eclipse, eclipse, eclipse, eclipse..." Then followed a film which
provided as miraculous a collection of stage elfects as any Italian opera.
The screens divided, opened out and were swelled by the addition
of huge plastic fringes - all of this to accommodate a most magnificent
red volcano which erupted and gushed ali over the place. The pygmy
disappeared into the lava in a great dramatic moment. What did all those
letters signify?...They've made the structure of language into a comic
hero and surround edit with shadows to point out the operatic tendency
of everyday life...They have shown once again that illusion is
certainly the most interesting aspect oi reality; and that the advice
of the surrealists is still much the best approach to life in the seventies:
collage or perish!

Uh.... That's it. From the Globe and Mail,...urn, by

Adele Freedrnan. Anything else?
SHADOW PLAYER LIVE: exit
SLEUTH LIPS: No, that's good. Thanks Delia... Bye. (hangs up)
Am I any the wiser? I'll have to give this some thought.

FX: Click!

29.
NARRATOR: Back at the Vancouver Art Gallery in the evening, 1978

FX:bang, bang....bang.

Sleuth Lips is watching the video monitors. He can see a padded room
with a guy banging around in it.
SLEUTH LIPS: (to his neighbour) What's going on?
SPECTATOR: That's Paul Wong. He's performing what he calls
'In Ten Sity'. He's expressing pure emotion and it's also
a dedication to his friend, Ken Fletcher, who committed suicide.
SLEUTH LIPS: Really! That's amazing. Thanks.

FX: banging stops

NARRATOR: It's nightime at the Commodore Ballroom in 1979

FX: party sounds

Sleuth Lips is confused, so much going on and so many people.
He's at the Mondo Arte Cabaret at the Living Art Performance Festival.
He slowly makes his way to a table through all the people where he
can see the stage.
HANK BULL (the M.C.): Welcome, welcome everyone. As Hugo Ball said,
"living art is irrational, primitive, complex: it will speak a secret language
and leave behind documents not ot identification but ol paradox."
That sounds about right for Canadada. Yes, yes! Hobbyhorses
and babycarraiges! Now, Gina, what have all these performance freaks
come to see tonight? Duchamp as Rrose Selavy?
GINA: Well, Hank, you won't believe the line up. Duchamp in spirit
probably, and here to start things off is Baron Infinity !

30.
NARRATOR: Byron Black comes on stage, dressed in a bright orange
body suit, carrying a blown up, orange plastic lite raft. He sucks
on the air valve of the raft, which is filled with helium.
BYRON BLACK: (sings in a very high squeek, 'Teddy Bear's Picnic'
5 lines)
SLEUTH LIPS: My God, I don't believe it! There's Byron Black. The
draft dodger I've been searching for all these years. Maybe I can
nab him now on the stage.

FX: footsteps

HANK BULL: Here's our next performer. What's your name and what's
your piece?
SLEUTH LIPS: All...urn...I'm Sleuth Lips and, um... Pm an F.B.I, agent
and I want to arrest Byron Black Infinity.
HANK BULL: Who doesn't! Ha, ha, ha. S. S. Girls, here. Ship Sleuth
Lips away.
NARRATOR: There is a kaleidoscope of performing images whirling
in front of Sleuth Lips' eyes: J.A. Genius, The Girls Club, a white bul
Dr. Brute playing a leopardskin saxophone, Hitler and the S.S. Girls,
sharks in tuxedos, mermaids, a pygmy, a band playing, wrapped in tape.
all becomes a whirling blur.

FX: party sounds end
FX: fading up music,

NARRATOR: In Sleuth Lips hotel room, morning, 1979

Daphne and Chloe
still playing

SLEUTH LIPS: wakes up, he sits up.

31.
SLEUTH LIPS: Whew, what a dream! Did I dream I fell asleep"
It was also everything I remembered from the past ....God,
I was on the stage at that cabaret and played the part ol an F.B.I.
agent! Lots to figure out but it'll have to wait a bit now that I have
my new orders. I'll have to keep an eye and ear open lor newly
arrived Iranians - Khomeini fanatics. They might be trying to get
the U.S. from Canada. If it's not communists, it's something else.
And now, guess what? My performance friends are embarking
on a performance to do with the Ayatoila at the end of December,
end of the decade. Coincidence? Pretty suspicious I'd say.
After that little episode in the cabaret I'm ready for retirement and
now this. Hum...Let's see... (He picks up a notice). Hank Bull is
producing Saint Ayatoila: After the End ol the World

FX : rustle

Hum.

Saint? End of the world? That sounds dangerous.
NARRATOR: it's the evening of Dec 2 1 , 1979. Sleuth Lips is
standing by the door in the auditorium oi the Robson Street

FX: murmuring

Media Centre. He can see everything on the stage as well as
the audience, even though it is quite darkened.
SLEUTH LIPS: (to himself) Now let's see if I can spot any fanatics.

FX: murmuring ends

This looks like some soil of Christmas pageant, 3 wisemen,

FX: We 3 Kings song
humming

he babe in the manger... wait a minute, the babe is dressed

32.
up as a singing dog...dog in the manger...Ug! Holy shit! One
of the wise men is the Ayatolla and he's attacking the dog with

FX: swish

a scimitar! Oh! The dog looks dead.
FX: screams, explosions
(consulting his program) Good God, Flakey Rrose
Hip is the Ayatolla. And that group must be the Lizzettes who

FX: distant band playing,
singing

have evolved out of the Ettes and the Girls Club. Uh, this is
all so complicated. Oh, and there's the Great Homunculus
of Relican coming on stage. He must have taken over from the
Ayatolla. Let's see if I can catch any of his liturgy...
He's attempting to perform a miracle... Oh, he's bestowing
immortality on everyone for 15 minutes.
NARRATOR: Negavision, a punk band from Quebec plays
loudly and Sleuth Lips leaves, returns to his hotel room.

FX: band playing ends

But he's actually still in his bed, dreaming. In his dream,
Sleuth Lips is peering through a peephole like the one at the
Western Front. He feels like a voyeur looking out onto a void.
FX: void wind sound
He sees the Great Homunculus with Anna Banana, Mr. Peanut,
Hitler and all the other characters bowing in front of him.
The critics are tied up and cringing from the Flying Leopard who is
tormenting them. And here is the Homunculus. (to the audience)
Bow down! Bow down!

33.
HOMUNCULUS: The dogma in the manger is dead! ideology is gone.
The reality of images has become paramount. Appropriate the
images of mass culture. Subvert the emblems ol corporate
media. Critics, your Winkelmann tried to fashion art into history.
You try to make artists think they are in an art relay race called
progress where they have to surpass their predecessors and try
to attain immortality. The reign of the image begins where history ends.
You are formed by the images you look at but you are responsible
for your vision. Hitler! You are accused oi image bondage. You are a
victim of believing in your own image even though you had to learn
the gestures, the emotion, stamping the foot, the whole performance.
You had studied art and knew about images before your time. It's too
bad your people didn't understand you were a borderline case
performing a persona. Tom Graff, your cut-out wooden tulips and
Anna Banana, your cut-out Mona Lisa have transformed Verrneer's
and Leonardo's images into media. Mona's many public smiling faces
have destroyed the beautiful, ideal face ol art.Gathie Faik, chucking eggs
at you was an ancient ritual on the origins ol art as well as fracturing the
immortality of the artwork. Mr. Peanut, your immobile and hard shell is
the perfect subversive persona non grata media image which
proves that anyone can be a star. Bless and curse you all!

FX: wind sound ends

34.
NARRATOR: It's the next morning. Sleuth Lips wakes up.
SLEUTH LIPS: (As he gets dressed) Whew! i think I'm beginning to
understand. I have been performing as an F.B.I, agent all my
life and now I understand that everyone plays a roie.
Anthony Blunt was an art expert performing as a spy.
Spying was his art? Everyone's playing a roie. Perhaps the F.B.I.
really does fear art, out of ignorance or knowing? Time to retire
and take on another role.
NARRATOR: Sleuth Lips sits at the desk, writing a report. Quote,
"The performances are about the problem of immortality in art
on the one hand and changing or subversion of the culture on
the other. Artists want to leave something behind but performances
can't be immortal like the permanence oi sculpture can, but they can
be or are more subversive. All the food references in the performances
- eggs, flour, peanuts, bananas, HP Sauce, a bun fight with all kinds
of blintzes and batters. Food is common to everyone. Food perishes.
Food shows the connections to life and not immortality and make it
more palateable. The disguises, role-playing, the personas, show
the image changes, like Blunt, that spy in the palace of art, and
approach the idea of immortality but grow out of a nostalgic image
rather than history. Real smiles on the Mona Lisa image show an

FX: pen scribbling

35.
absence of historic ideals or ideology. The family photo album is as
far as immortality goes.The performances of the Ayatolla and the
Homunculus are exceptional gestures of subversion but not the
real subversion the F.B.I, fears. Beauty Through Destruction and
Disintegration, the end of the world, the resulting void, and
meaningless but familiar language and time, In the absence of
historical meaning, provoked the artists to make up stories and play
games. The artists have forsaken immortality in order to expose the rift
in history and the state of modern reality. These performances are
the sad and comic reflection of the amusing, shallow, tinny and
divergent image reality we live in, like Ian Baxter's bagged room.
They are showing that the power of images subvert the knowledge
of oneself. They are performing an irony ol subversion. These
performances show that logical ideologies have degenerated or
deconstructed into a series of images, slogans and gestures which
have become detached from their original meaning- like advertising.
These role-playing artists know that in our culture., a person is nothing
but his image in the eyes of others. The self is illusion and one has no
control over the images others have of you. Actually the real basis of
the self is in feeling, suffering, not in thought, as the artist was showing,
performing in In Ten Sity. If the self is problematic, it is even

3G.
more of a problem to transcend the self and become part of history,
to rest in eternal memory or immortality. At the same time, I can now
see that these artists are not part of some meaningless communist plot
in Buckingham Palace or religious fanatics. II their art work is not
immortal, it must be eternal subversion. In conclusion, I think
they show us life and how to use it. Mciybe they're life fanatics.
As the hands of the spirit indicate - [nan's future is in his creativity.
FX: end of pen scribbling

Case closed."
NARRATOR: Sleuth Lips addresses the report to the F.B.I, in Washington.
SLEUTH LIPS: stands up, smiles, puts the report into an envelope.
He turns off the radio, sticks a label on the envelope and takes it

SD: Daphne & Chloe off

with him, out the door.

FX : door close

NARRATOR: Thank you all for your good posture tonight, as Amy
would say. You have just witnessed Episode # 6070 ol Mondo
Artie, The Sleuth Lips Report, by Glenn Lewis. In the cast you
heard

as Lieutenant I. P. Grant, aka Sleuth Lips;

Sleuth Lips in bed was played by
played the Radio Announcer aka Mr. Blunt;
played Helen Qoodwii
played Glenn Lewis, aka Flakey Rrose Hip;
played Gathie Falk;

37.
played the Photographer
played Michael Morris, aka Marcel Idea;

played Michael

Morris 2
played Anna Banana;
Kate Craig played Kate Craig, aka Lady Brute
Glenn Lewis played Hitler;
played Dr. Brute
played John Mitchell;
played Amy Vanderbilt;
played Al Neil;
played the Soni Twin, aka Hansel and Pretzel;
played Hot X Bun;
played Ladyfingers;
played Earl of Sandwich;
played Patticake;
played the Dumb Waiters;
played Reggaernuftin;
played Junket;
played Robert Cumming;
played Mavis;
played Hostess Twinky
played Crepe Suzettt

played Anna Banana 2

38.
played Duchess of Mayonnaise;
played Colonel Saunders;
played the Beefy Tartars;
played the Pillsbury Doughboys;
played General Foods;
played Colonel Grey-Chutney;
played Bun woman;
played Shadow Player Live;
played Shadow Player M;
played Shadow Player F;
played Sahdow Player K;
played Delia Street;
played the Spectator;
played Hank Bull, aka the Great Hornunculus;
played Gina Middleclass;
played Byron Black, aka Baron Infinity;

Shawn

ii \hfly/\/)/l/t/£$b

{/M^^/^Ct

^

t ie v

'

' ^ e o editing;

'A
Kozniuk did the video projection;
was the camerman for the live video;
were the sound technicians;
performed the special effects.

i^^/M^$

39.
Many thanks to the Lux Radio Players, the grunt, the Weslern Front, the Vancouver Art Gallery
and all the other generous people who gave such wonderful assistance.
As your Narrator, I am
night.

and I wish you all good