pee yn Tat siege This week: What to do with a two foot two-by-four M good mood. The sun was shining, loggers were cutting down his forest, the mill was humming... And once more, he had a secretary of his own. Jovial pressed the intercom but- ton. "Mercy?" "Yes sir?" "Coffee ready?" "Yes sir.” "One cup please... Black and strong." "Coming right up sir." Jovial had been sharing Herby Squish’s secretary, Squirrel, for a _ month, ever since he fired Plug Nicholl and Plug’s sister Dot had walked out. "No loss... Defective _ hearing aid. Figure like a twig." *] beg your pardon, sir?" "Oh. Good moming Mercy. I was thinking about Dot." "Why?" "Actually, I don’t know. Squir- rel? Does that woman have a last name?” "Probably not... You’re rambling, sir." Jovial stared at his new secretary as she stood over him and placed the steaming cup on his desk. He tried to see her face. But from his vantage point, seated in his $1,200 swivel chair, only eyes and blonde hair were visible. "Mercy," Jovial whispered. Jovial barely noticed the two men who had entered his office. "You've done a little redecorat- ing Milton." "Oh! Good morning Herby. Uh... - Yes. This is Linda Pringle... M new secretary. She likes to be ilton Jovial was ina called Mercy." "Oh... Mercy..." "Right," Jovial acknowledged. The room was silent while Mercy straightened a few things on Jovial’s desk. The men stared. Jovial Logging Inc. has been blessed, thought Squish. Then he _ remembered Squirrel, his faithful servant. Paradise, destroyed by pangs of guilt. Two pairs of eyes followed Mercy as she swung her way out of the room. Squish stared at the floor until Mercy closed the door. Squish broke the silence. "Uh... Milton. This is Sydney Silver. You're marketing manager." "Oh yes. Sliver. Squish has told me a lot about you." "That’s Silver," said Silver. "That’s what I said," replied Jovial. "Let’s get down to busi- ness. I have several letters I would like to dictate..." "Your problem," ‘Silver began, "Ig that you have a lot of short. + pieces of lumber to get rid of... You don’t see too many houses with two-foot walls." "Hmm.... A dog house," Jovial smiled. "This is serious," Herby inter- rupted. "Okay... Carry on Sliver." "Why don’t you call me Sydney." No point in correcting Jovial a second time, Silver thought. People were always getting his name wrong. If it wasn’t Sliver they used his initials... or both. Just because he was a little over weight. "Here he comes," people would say. "The $s Sliver. Three ‘hun dred pounds of marketing wonder.” It wasn’t fair. He only weighed "Anything you like Sydney," Jovial agreed. "Just get on with it. I’ve got better things ‘to do." Sydney Silver took the hint and launched an uninterrupted dialogue describing the situation and what Jovial must do. He explained that a quantity of 16- to 24-foot kiln Terrace Review — Wednesday, July 10, 1991 A7 by Tod Strachan, in consultation with Rod Arnold and Doug Davies "Then you're going to have to run the mill ends through your finger jointer and put them back together to make finger jointed studs. I can easily sell those on the U.S. market. There’s quite a demand. They don’t warp, and in frame construction they’re excel- lent next to door and window frames." Jovial didn’t need to hear any more. He would get rid of lumber dried lumber had been pre-soid on the overseas market. But due to the - cliff-bashing disaster set up by Rocky Rhodes and completed by Joe" ‘Towers; Jovial’s ‘milf was forced to cut shorter lengths of lumber from broken logs. What was needed now was a well- coordinated balancing act. "You’re lucky your mill design people talked you into the finger jointer as a value added feature," said Silver. "You're going to have to take the eight- and 10-foot pieces of lumber sitting in the yard and run them through the trim saw to cut them into smaller pieces. Basically, random sized mill ends. Letters to the Editor Orenda trying to move too fast To the Editor; -L received a letter and a news release on July 3 from an Oren- - da official who was interested in hearing my views on their pulp mill project. They propose to hold a number of public meet- ings, during the summer, to hear comment from groups and indi- _ viduals. It is their hope that they get government approval for their project before the end of the year sO they can start construc- tion ‘‘as soon as weather condi- Pifer === Continued from page AG bid to become Premier, she will quit politics altogether. To her opponents, it is seen as a threat of not being actively involved in the election campaign on behalf of any other Socred leader... therefore the delegates better vote tions permit in 1992”. I appreciate Orenda asking for my input but I get the feeling that the voices of local people are just ‘necessary dressing’ to satisfy the government. As long as we do not protest too loudly then everything is okay. Well, I protest! 1 am not for or against the pulp mill as I do not yet have enough knowledge. ‘What I do protest is the fast- track approach, the ramming through in a few short months, a project which will have major repercussions to our communi- for her. To her supporters, it is considered to be a natural pro- gression after 30 years of service, that she would want a break from it all. Take your pick. public meetings during the summer are ridiculous. Second- ly, the community no longer will accept the patriarchial disposi- tion of ‘big’ boys, politicians and businessmen, meeting be- hind closed doors and deciding our future, then informing us of their decision -—- that is a process which is highly feudalistic. There must be community concensus for this project, decided in an open forum, where individuals and community groups have legitimate influence on the decision. Isn’t that true democracy? I believe the question of whether democracy is dominant or whether an autocratic oligar- chy controls communities. It is fundamental to this situation in particular and society in general. William Hayes Old Remo he had considered to be nothing more than junk.. "Thank you, Sydney. You and Herby handle the details..." "You should hear the rest,” Squish cut in. Jovial didn’t like it when Squish said that. It always meant he was going to lose some money. Sydney continued. "You've got a little over 300,000 board feet of lumber to get rid of, Mr. Jovial. Actually, it’s 312,896. If that lum- ber was in the 16- to 24-foot range, it would be worth $425 per thousand board feet. That would be worth $132,980.80 to you. Unfor- tunately, though, you're stuck with shorter lengths that are only worth $225 a thousand. That’s $70,401.60... Only a little better than half what you should be get- ting. "The good news is that I can get good money for the value added material. About $375 for the worst of it and around $600 for clears. On the average, about $500 per thousand board feet. You'll have some waste and I don’t have a good estimate at the present time. But let’s say you get 310,000 board feet of material worth $500 per thousand. That comes to $155,000... More than you would have made if you hadn’t dropped them off the cliff. Jovial was impressed. "Silver... You're a genius." Silver didn’t notice. "The bad news is..." "I'll hold that genius comment in reserve.” — "The bad news is... You’re prob- ably not going to get quite 310, 000 ‘board feet. Some of what you've got out there is going to end up in the chipper. Also, a lot of the money you get for the value-added product will go to wages. and milling costs for cutting cight-foot lumber into what would normally be called mill ends, and then glu- ing them back together. And, if , you recall, J told you there was a balancing act to be done here. "I can sell the value added prod- uct, but not right away. For a while you’re going to have an ! excess finger-jointed inventory, and a downfall or shortage on the existing overseas order file that can’t be met. And I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but there are penalties for inferior quality and time delays. You could lose up to 25 percent on your next overseas sale." _ "Can you sort this out,so I break even?" Jovial asked. r "It’s possible," Silver replied. "But unlikely." "Does that mean impossible?” "Well, I’m new to the area and T'll need a little help from Herby. But one thing we can do is shop around the region and see if any- one has an excess of the material we need to meet our overscas obligations. We could buy it. Or if we're lucky, maybe trade our excess value-added inventory for it.” Jovial wondered why he was here... So far from his Milwaukee plastic manufacturing plant. And then he remembered Mercy. "Okay. You two get busy. I want to see all the options on my desk as soon as possible.” . As Silver and Squish began to leave, Jovial pressed the button on the intercom. "Mercy?" "Yes sit?" "One cup of coffee please... Black and strong.” "Coming right up sir." Silver and Squish were only part way to the door when Mercy entered the room... Steaming cup in hand. Two pairs of eyes fol- lowed as she glided towards Jovial’s desk. Squish stared at the floor. "God," he thought. "This is a test. Right?" NOTE: We extend our profuse apologies to fans of columnist Stephanie Wiebe, many of whom seem to have gone into withdrawal due to the absence of her column in last week's Terrace Review. We're sorry we failed to notify everyone that Stephanie is now on her annual two-month holiday, which oddly enough coincides every year with the opening and closing of school. She'll be back in the first week of September.