Page #, The Herald, Wednaada.. _.y 16, 1970

— 4

DEAR ABBY

By Ablgail Van Buren

+ 1979 by Chicago Trbune-N.¥. News Synd, lnc.

" DEAR ABBY: I was adopted as an infant, All my Ife I
have wanted to know my natural mother, About two years
ago I began my search. Fortunately, my adoptive parents

’ willingly gave me what little information they had. With

that, plus what 1 gathered from various other sources, I
located my mother in Iowa. I was so thrilled and excited that
Teouldn't wait to phone her! I didn't realize what a shock it
would be for her to hear from the child she had given away
32 years before.

After a brief conversation she suggested that I write to
her, so J wrote immediately, telling her all abqut myself, my
life, and how I was ready to fly to lowa to meet her as soon
as she gave the word.

A week later I received this reply —no date, so salutation
and no signature: .

“You now have a life that adoption made possible so
count your blessings. I don't understand haw you
could believe that contacting me would not make
trouble. ] have had guilt and shame all my days—and
now this whole megs has been reopened,

Count your blessings. No need for further com-
munication!”

Abby, I can understand her shame, guilt. suffering and
sorrow, The entire episode involving me is like an open
wound that has been festering for 32 years. Obviously she
has never learned to deal with those feelings. But what

. about MY feelings? -

Abby, my mother wasn't an innocent teenager who “got
caught, She was a 27-year-old Navy nurse in World War II.
T want to know who my natural father was, and all about the
relationship between him and my mother. 1 ean find out only
through her. :

I don’t want to disrupt anybody's life, I just want the facts
that I feel ] have a right to know. Am 1 asking too much?

Tam not a bored, neurotic housewile. I've been happily
married for 14 years and have an 11-year-old daughter and
7-year-old son. I'm active in volunteer work and have
returned to college, so I’m no kook out to make trouble.

Your advice and the opinions of others who have been
through this would be deeply appreciated.

MRS. G.IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MBS. G.: 1 understand your feelings and ap-
preciate your “right” to know your natural parents, but
they, » have rights, And one of those rights is the right to
be left alone if they so choose. (Many girla save up their
bables for adoption only because they were assured their
identities would never be revealed.) Many natural parents
would be thrilled to reunite with their childran, but we can-
not assume that ALL are.

ully approve of searching for one’s natural parents, but
I think a» go-between should make the contact and the
reunlon should be effected only if all parties want it.

DEAR ABBY: I have read many letters in your column
from the family of the bride resenting bitterly the family of

the groom paying off their social obligations by inviting all «

their shirt-taii relatives, friends, neighbors and business ac-
quaintances to a wedding paid for by the bride's parants.

T recently returned from the Orient where I attended a
wedding, and was Informed af their solution to the wedding-
guest problem. Each family invites as many guests as they
wish and each family PAYS for its own guesta. Clever?-

WORLD TRAVELER

DEAR TRAVELER: Very!

HOROSCOPE

FOR WEDNESDAY, MAY 16, 1979

VIRGO
(Man 21 to Apr. 19) VOB (Aug, 23 to Sept. 22) wp

AQUARIUS
(Jan, 20 to Feb, 18) ae Gin

Any early a.m. career
difiiculities are resolved to
your satisfaction by midday,
but avold mixing business
with pleasure late in the day,

TAURUS “

(Apr. 20 to May 20) Og”
Find a halfway point bet-

ween direct confrontation and

escape from problems. Don't

hort the feelings of someone at

a distance. _

GEMINI

(May 21 to June 29) ge |

Help you expect from others
may not be forthcoming. Stl,
you're able to come up with a
solution. by yoursel£, Listen to
inner promptings,

“CANCER
CJune 21 to July 22) BES

A planned get-together may
leave you somewhat un-
fulfilled. Be content with
modest social gains, Dealings
with close ones are iffy.

: (uly 23 to Aug. 22) VOEGE

Don’t be so sensitive. If the

7 boss doesn’t seem overjoyed

about career progress, don’t
take it personally. Avoid p.m.

discord,

A follow-up call to someone
at a distance may find the
person in a different mood
than previously. Some people
are like that.

LIBRA :
(Sept. 23 to Oct, 22) FG

The business end of
domestic affairs works out
satisfactorily, but later, a
famlly member could be
somewhat moody or out of

SCORPIO 7
(Oct. 28 to Nov. 21) Mane”
Despite an auspicious

‘beginning of togetherness,

affairs with partners and close
ones may deterlorate in the
p.m. Downplay conflict.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) lh
Improved earning potentlal

could lead to ill-advised

spending on pleasure later. A

health complaint in the p.m.

affects disposition.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) Wilag
A lunch date should be quite

pleasurable. Avoid excess

spending in the p.m. as well as

domestic discord, Capitalize ©

on creativity,

Save some private moments
for yourself, but don’t be anti-
social, Someone at home may
be insistent on having his own
way.

PISCES
(Feb. 19 to Mar, 20) KEY

Mixed trends affect com-
munication. One friend may
be" moady, another cranky,
and a third cooperative. The
accent is on tact. ;

YOU BORN TODAY are a
natural critic of soclety and its
values. Law, philsophy,
teaching, writing, sociology,
and science are some of the
fields in which you can put
your fine intellect to good use.
At times aloof and sensitive,
your best success comes when
you temper your critical
judgments with humor and
cheerfulness. Often you
choose an artistic outlet to
expregs your insights and you
can succeed in painting,
music, and. the stage, In
business you have an affinity
for banking and manufac-
turing. Birthdate of: Henry
Fonda, actor; Liberace,
pianist; and Wm. H. Seward,
U.S. statesman.

@) 1979 King Features Syndicate, Inc,

— ACRAAN

22

CROSSWORD | FLEECE:

ACROSS
1 Maiden
5 Fall behind
$ Apportion
12 Discharge
13 Inflated,
at times
14 State
15 Verdi opera
16 Tacit assent
17 Buck, a5 a
horse
18 Appeared
20 Parisian
evening
22 Israeli
Foreign
Minister
26 Mountain
range
29 Goal
30 Thing often
cast
31 Lion's
hideaway
32 Neighbor
. of Ill,
33 Popular
seasoning
34 Age ,
35 Cape, for one
36 Eyelid
swellings
(var. }

37 US Secre- 55 River to the
tary of State .. North Sea

40 — facto - DOWN
41,Plane's 1 Meadaws
route 2 Pierre's ©
45 Stud girlfriend
47 Fuel 3 Faction
49 Zero. 4 Speak
50 Poker haltingly
stake — 5 Gives for
51 Can, a time
-nelghbor — ‘6 Past
52 Singer 7 Desirable
Horne thing .
53 Endurance 9 “West: -
or Side
oral Story”
54 Slippery heroine .

character 9 Usual
Average solution time: 23 min.

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S[OILIGINEETIAIRIRIE
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SOT MERIAVIEOMEU VIA

EILIE MBE STEIN
ALIA ERBAIRILIE(S

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CORMICOIRAILEES'RIO

THIOMASIAIBIEICIKIElT

AIRIAIM |S MENIOTT [STE
SILIEEIP RE TIRIE|T
TORBESEIR

418

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Bancroft esterday’s Cryptoquip — QUR GOOD INTENTIONS ARE
ELDOM GLAMOROUS.
a4 rand Today's Cryptoquip clue: L. equals U
45 “Casey at he Cryptoquip is a simple substitution cipher in which each
the" tter used stands for another. If you think that X equals 0, it
1 . Li equal © throughout the puzzle. Single letters, short words,
46 Single unit d words using an apostrophe can give you clues to locating
48 Enzyme: wels. Solution Is accomplished by trlal and error,
suffix (:)1999 King Peatures Syndicate, Inc.

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