Foster Care ———

Contributed

This is a true story about one
child that ended up in foster care.
For confidentiality-reasons, names
in this story have been changed.
Events have been recorded and
written up by Social Services and
Housing workers with the consent
of those involved.

Foster Parents:
Jennifer and Ray Foster
Sally grew up in a family of five:
her parents and a younger brother
and sister. When Sally was in
junior high school she entered the
Ministry’s care due to various
family reasons, Sally stayed with

relatives, then family friends and
finally she was placed with a fos-
ter family where she remained for
four and a half years. Because
Sally knew her relatives and fami-
ly friends, she experienced no
adjustment problems with them,
but going to the foster family was
very different. —_

Sally remembers that first day
very vividly. She felt scared. It
was all the unknowns; who were
these people, what were they. like,
who else would be there, what
would their lives be like, how old
were they, what were their occu-
pations outside of the home,
would they like her?

This new setting brought new
adjustments. Sally felt strange
realizing that nothing there
belonged to her.

On the first day, Sally arrived
when foster mother Jennifer was

. at work. She found herself sitting

in the living room with foster
father Ray when the children were
in bed and not knowing what to
say. The silence was deafening.
Jennifer waltzed in just after ten
o'clock with a friend. She was
greeted by Sally, who was vacu-
uming the stairs, anxious to have
any sound in this strange environ-
ment. Jennifer's reaction was to
say, “Wow, if you work like this,
you can stay.” This was followed
by a midnight feed of Chinese
food and talking until 2:00 a.m.

Sally had come from an environ-

“foster parents.

foster parent.

~ ment of constant yelling and fric-

tion. As a result, when. Sally
became part of the foster’s home,
.she was sure they were just acting.
It was as if they were on an end-
less honeymoon, hugging, kissing
_and saying positive things to cach
other. She wondered when it was
going to end and when the real
actions would begin.
From the beginning, she was

treated as one of the family. There.

was no inconsistency: she was
always treated the same.
Because of her long stay there
and the deep, positive, loving rela-
tionship that developed, Sally sees
the Foster family as her own. The
children are her siblings and the
extended family of grandpa and
grandma belong to her, too, When
Sally married her high school
boyfriend, the Fosters took the
major role in wedding prepara-
tions, along with her husband’s
parents.
Sally now sees her natural family
after a difficult 10 years. Some
. family members will have nothing
to do with Sally; others have been
very supportive.
When Sally looks back at her
experience of leaving home and
living in care, she believes that it
helped to make her a better per-
son. It was valuable for her to see
_another way of living and have
another pattern to follow. She saw
positive methods for problem
solving. .

Foster parents are warm, everyday people who provide a caring,
stable home for someone else’s child on a temporary basis.
Creating such an environment is a challenge that takes
commitment and dedication. |
That's why we're dedicating October 20 - 26 to all

A thousand thanks.

- Foster Care
(i) British Columbia

Province of British Columbia

& All over the Skeena area, we're celebrating the partnerships
_. that have formed between foster parents, social workers, government
and the community to provide the care foster children require.

So, to the many special people who have what it takestobea _-

Ministry of Social Services and Housing |
Honourable Norman Jacobsen, Minister

Terrace Review —~ Wednesday, October 23, 1991 23

Sally’s story

Her own home, now with hus-
band Ted, is patterned after the
Foster family. She has a different
outlook on life and has her sister
over frequently to stay on week-
ends so that her sister can experi-
ence another way of living too.

Sally wasn’t sure what advice to
give to people involved, but
emphasized to foster parents the
need to treat children-in-care as
their own, never making them feel
different, To children-in-care she

‘stressed the need to respect the

families that take them in because
they want to help you. She
stressed, it will be scary at first but
not to be afraid.

To social workers, Sally under-

lined the importance of explain-

ing fully what is going on — to

both parties. She stated this

because once she was dropped on

the Fosters doorstep, she felt

totally abandoned.

Even though she made the

choice to leave her family, Sally

spoke of how it ripped at her |

heart, No matter what, your fami-
ly is your family and your loyalty
and all that is familiar remains
with them. The worst part was
leaving her brother and sister and
having her family turn against
her.

When special days came up, she
had to adapt to new traditions.
The Fosters always made birth-
days a great occasion and they
were special for everyone, .

Sally is deeply concerned for her
brother and sister. She says that
the value system her parents now
follow is even worse than when
she was living there 10 years ago.
Now anything goes, and she fears.
that if she doesn’t help her sister
see another model, she could get
into a worse situation than Sally
did.

For Sally, her foster family
meant new life and new begin-
nings. It changed her view of her-
self and of the world about her.
She gained self-respect and the
abilitv to stand up for herself.
With this new courage, Sally has

_ graduated from high school, mar-

ried, found stable employment,
and has started a family.

_ Ministry of Social Services and Housing

Let te gy walknaaghapleaetma Te Sk nay
; a

a dat a neal ce

Ae le cea rag gO Sadee 4.

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