B6 Terrace Review — Wednesday, June 19, 1991

WEDNESDAY WITH FAE

__. BY FAE MOONEY

Beginnings

Any time Life presents us with a
change, it is an opportunity for a new
beginning, But a beginning is usually
preceded by an ending of some kind,---
be it exciting, like graduation, or
traumatic, like something life-threaten-
ing. Sometimes it can be a mix of
both, heart-wrenching to the extreme
or so subtle as.to hardly be noticed.

On the 21st of June we mark the
beginning of summer. But it also marks the ending of our lengthening
sunlit days. From June 2ist onward for the next six-months, the days
will get shorter. Not especially traumatic, and not necessarily exciting,
but it does mark a climax, a change, an ending, and a beginning.

More dramatic endings, however, can bring us face to face with our
insecurities, perccived inadequacies, and the unknown. Endings can
force us to make decisions: where do 1 go from here??? Endings can
also create new experiences, new relationships, and — new begin-
nings.

Where do | go from here? ; |

When Life creates an abrupt and unexpected ending, such as with
the death, divorce, or desertion of a partner, the sudden loss of a job
or a dramatic change in lifestyle, the total destruction of personal
possessions or a debilitating chronic illness, a time of grieving is
inevitable.

"Mourning," writes Betty Jane Wylie in her book Beginnings, “is a
natural and necessary process. It shouldn’t be rushed. For in grieving
over the loss of another, what we are really doing is grieving oyer
our loss of self, all the self that was invested in that person." Or in
that relationship, that job, that home.

Bereavement is a terrible mental wound that is slow to heal. But it
will heal. And it will take-hard work on our part.

We have to learn to let go of what we have lost. We can’t allow
the past to frustrate the present, or pollute the future, and prevent us
from moving forward. But we need to try to hold on to the mem-
ories, hold on to what was good. |

To sift through it all requires time. We must allow for that time.

_ It’s something that cannot be hurried. We must allow for that time,
however long it might take. A new relationship will begin with what
was, and along with it a new perspective of the past. And what will
emerge is. the beginnings of a new "me".

Reaching another place

Missing someone, or something that has gone out of our Life,
happens to all of us sooner or later, and Life itself eventually cures
the loneliness and the pain. In the words of Dr. Gregory Zilboorg,
"Life itself, toward which the man (or woman) who happens to be
lonesome always turns, cures him (or her) sooner or later by what it
has to offer."

If we cannot savour our own Life, whatever it might bring us, we
will miss out on too much joy, advocates Dr. Irene C. Kassorla in
her book Go For It!. .

Writing in Courage My Love, Merle Shain believes there are
always two things we can give ourselves. And they can be applied
even in the context of grieving: peace and joy. "Peace in the knowl-
edge that we have value, because we have things to give, and joy in
our receptivity to the world, to everything it has to offer. Even that
which we would have gladly skipped but from which we reached
another place.

"And it is our privilege to apply to our lives,” she asserts, "the
attention we would apply to an unfinished work... working all the
time at our capacity to endure, through the updrafts and the down-
drafts, full of wonder at ‘life’s complexity, at its fierceness, and at its
surprises...

Beginnings of happiness Se

In our new place we can find happiness "in growing, understanding
ihat you will take two steps sideways for every step forward that you
make. And accept the [act that life is like fording a river, stepping
from one slippery stone to another, and you must rejoice every time
you don’t lose your balance," Meric Shain says, "and learn to laugh
at all the times you do."

All of Life is a learning experience. And cach new beginning is an
opportunity for growth.

And remember, no matter how tough il might seem now, tough
limes don’t Jast forever. They can pave the way for yet another
beginning...

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TEA FOR TWO HUNDRED. The Annual Senior Citizen Tea hosted by Royal Purple Lodge 216

_at the Elks Hall has been entertaining Terrace area seniors for more than 25 years, And this year

the tradition continued. Plenty of food and drink, lots of good company, entertainment by the
Caledonia choir and E.T. Kenney pianists and dancers, and plenty of prizes donated by local
merchants added up to a memorable afternoon.

| The War Amps
r of Canada

hatever you wear
e clear with care.

EDNESDAY IS
DIRTY SHIRT

vs NEW IN TOWN?

Men's or Ladies’ cotton blend LET US PUT
dress or business shirts expertly OUT THE MAT
laundered. FoR YOU!

be sure to call

\ aw
“Veen igo.

LTo.

» Only drive-thru in town
v Best, most reliable and cleanest service
v Drop off point at Thornhill Public Market

Rickards Cleaners|

Karen: 638-0707

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PT la poet le reap en rig

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