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I “was a very gullible child. 1 grew up with five brothers who were
oe . much older than me, and who delighted in feeding me silly stories. My
“s+ informal education covered everything fro. ghostly hauntings to outer space invasions. And
"+! of course I believed every word. I even bought. the story about poor old:Santa Claus having
"te wear a long beard and a furry collar because he'd contracted a hideous case of neck warts
from his reindeer. | ee I a
_' But as I grew a little older I began to question the validity of some of these tales. I had
+ begun to notice that the details of any particular story were apt to "mutate" slightly. The
‘first real point of contention had to do with the kidnapping of the Easter bunny. |
“ "-* “Rach spring Carmen would drag out dad’s old army field glasses, and climbing the stair
fe to the second floor landing, he would lean out the window and stare up at the mountain
-. across the river. After what seemed a small eternity, he would solemnly announce that the
Easter bunny appeared to be hard at work in his Easter egg factory. This same routine would

<” be repeated several times over the next few weeks, with ‘suitable progress reports on the
“~ mysterious comings and goings of Mr. E. Bunny. _ . oo, |

... . This might have gone on for several more years if George hadn’t suddenly decided to add

-. a few embellishments to the time-honoured tale. Early one morning he announced that
-. sometime during the night Mr. Bunny had been kidnapped. This proved too much for the
. others; it was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. re
“Tracy quickly jumped in and declared that it was the work of a roving band of gypsies,
’** while Carmen added that the police from as far away as Trail and Nelson, as well as a small
“: posse from our own little town, were in hot pursuit. Martin casually mentioned that he’d very
-. nearly been kidnapped by those same gypsies just last week when he’d taken a shortcut
_~.. through the woods. Douglas, although only six years older than mé, cheerfully climbed on the

* bandwagon and said he’s witnessed the whole thing from his bedroom window.

°°.” George said they were all wrong; the Easter bunny had been kidnapped by Martians.
‘< .. “But they were disguised as gypsies," Tracy added helpfully. Carmen and Martin both agreed .

.., that the Martians were four feet tall, had long snake-like tentacles for arms, and had also
“taken Mr. Bunny’s Easter chickens hostage. Douglas said he’d seen their spaceship land.

.From his bedroom window. | et .
=... Then our mother waded into the fray and said it was really too bad that she hadn't ~—[ a
.. known any of this earlier; shortly after daybreak a little green man with a long snout and 1a

curly blue sideburns had knocked at the kitchen door; begging for a drink of water from the a

apt ~~ well. "If Pd known about the kidnapping I might have been suspicious," she complained. "I i
_, -. thought there was something strange about him." . | f

vee

+ ."That must have been who I bumped into on my way to the woodpile," Tracy said. "He

“was 10 feet tall and dressed like a gypsy.” -

_) . -[ think I saw him over by Stubington’s farm just an hour ago," Martin added. "He had

“y three heads and two huge hairy arms, and was driving old man Stubington’s tractor." ©

-* "T heard the police have called out the army," Carmen broke in. | a,

a "He climbed in my bedroom window and looked at me," Douglas boasted. "He had a-

--raygun and said he wanted to eat me, but I didn’t let him." | | SO |
 "He’s from the planet Pluto," George added. | Fy ont |

So much for the kidnapping of Mr. E. Bunny.. | . | a

-_ - 26 Terrace Review — April 16, 1992

—— cee e a a — er oy i