6 Terrace Review — Wednesday, April 27, 1988 | Income taxes — ee Le ae Ste ee en Eee Just take get it over with ‘em and > “Commentary by Stephanie Wiebe *Tis the season for accoun- tants, Fa la la la la, Ja la la la. Yes, it’s that time again. Get out the calculator, the T-4, and the Rolaids. _ I’ll never understand how the tax. system got to be such a mess. Basically, it’s a good idea: take a percentage of everyone’s in- come, and pool it all together for the public good. Simple. Then they had to_complicate it by creating write-offs, tax ex- emptions and loopholes, Ac- countants have shelves of thick books, full of tax breaks and in- centives. If you’re in a 35 per- cent tax bracket, on the third Tuesday after December’s last full moon, you can depreciate ‘two percent on your left shoelace, but only on a business trip to Saskatoon. But if you’re - in a 50 percent tax bracket, with four dependent children, at least two of whom have orthodontal hardware, and you own a ’67 Nova which is used by a depen- dent to deliver pizza on weekends, you can write off the two rear tires, but not if they’re retreads. . I’m not all too joyous about sharing my meager income with the Canadian government, but if they’re going to take it, why don’t they just fake it? Why fool . around with tax books, receipts and accountants?. OO If J were elected Queen of the World, things would be dif- ferent. The government would take its due bite, as always. And there would still be tax brackets, so that the more you earn, the more you pay. No returns to file, no write-offs, no exemp- tions. Aha, you say, what about all those unemployed tax ac- countants? Well, their job would be to keep tabs on the government officials. No special perks, no freebies for those high mucky-mucks, either. They couldn’t even write off their dry cleaning. This would produce more revenue to help out those in the lower tax brackets, and support government programs for the people. Too simplified? There’s much more involved than I’m seeing? Yes, but to fully outline my plans would take twenty pages of this newspaper, and a pro- spective Queen has more impor- tant things to do than type. We'll deal with the details after the election. The bottom line is, I’m wor- ried about these accountants. Female C.G.A.’s, C.A.’s and R.1.A.’s are fine, but those male accountants lose a lot of hair this time of year, sweating over those tax forms and books. Have you ever seen a male ac- countant with a full head of hair? It’s a rare sight. These guys don’t have much to spare. All that calculating and number- juggling takes its toll on those fragile follicles. And under my new government plan, they won’t be able to write off any hair restoring tonics — no, not even during the April tax rush. Remember all this when you're casting your vote for Queen. With my plan, these balding human calculators can toss their heavy tax books into a bonfire, and save the paltry strands they’ve still got. And don’t forget, in the 45 percent tax bracket, at a book bonfire in the current fiscal year, before the third Sunday after the Spring equinox, refreshments are deductible up to the first 10 per- cent of the wholesale cost, ex- cept for hairy accountants, who must use schedule 574. Cyrano de Bergerac would have approved of the new group starting up in town, the Terrace Writers’ Guild, According to Hennie Cook, one of the founding members, a group of 28 people attending George Stanley’s . creative writing class at Northwest Com- munity College decided to con- tinue meeting once classes end this week, = ‘We'll get together to ex- change our work. It’s amazing how much we learn from each other, the benefits there are from constructive criticism,’’she said. Prince Rupert has had a Writers’ Guild for many years, and publishes a book to coincide with their annual Sea Fest celebration. Terrace Writers’ Guild is also planning to publish a book, for sale at our Riverboat Days. ‘‘I guess we’re copying them,” Cook said,‘but there’s so little written about the area, and there really are a lot of interesting stories here.”’ The book will include fiction and poetry, focusing on Terrace and the Northwest. While Prince Rupert depends on profits from the previous year’s sales to publish the next book, Terrace, as a new group, had to think up a fund-raiser. This is where the ghost-writing comes in. “One of our members came up with the: idea of providing writing services for the com- munity. Some people may have Arts grant raised Terrace city council has ap- proved a 10. percent increase in its annual grant to the Terrace and District Arts Council (TDAC). This will result in a $6,600 grant being given this year and offer.a little bigger pie to share between the many local ‘groups who look to the TDCA as’ their: primary source of Pacific Northwest Music Festival Association, Northwest Singers, Terrace Little Theatre Society, Terrace Art Associa- tion, Terrace Community Band, Kleanza Music Educators Association, Terrace Children’s Festival (Terrace Coffee House), Terrace Concert Society, Ter- race/Thornhill Band Parents’ The rock-strawn slope that sweeps downwa Landscape at last rd from tn front of the Terrace Arena to KalumS look by the end of June. The $84,000 contract to landscape the hill was awarded and signed last week by the Ter- race Beautification Society, represented by George Clark (standing), to Jack Hoekstra’s landscaping company. - _ Mayor Jack Talstra witnessed the contract for the city. . wee difficulty writing letters or. resumes, and we can help. Or they may want a card for a special ocassion, and just can’t find one that says, ‘to my step- father’ or ex-wife or whatever. We have some pretty good poets in the group who can write up the verse. Then some members Historical May 01: § MAY DAY CIA spook, F, Gary Powers shot out of U2 spy plane over U.S.S.R.(1960). First skyjacking of a jetliner, Miami to Havana (1961). ee FULL MOON, 1988 Cook said. The rates are very reasonable, too: only $5 a page. So far the Guild is working on their: first three jobs. Future plans for the group in- clude looking at submissions for happenings in May _ Ghost writers for hire in Terrace ficers. Membership is open to any- — one interested in any form of Persons can contact the Guild by phoning 635-9428 between. 5 and 7 p.m. ‘ serge che aie bi t. will fake on anew Association, Performing Arts Shell Society, Terrace Pipes and Drums Society and the R.E.M. Lee Theatre Alive Society, May 04: Haymarket riot in Chicago catalyst for 8 hour workday (1886). May 05: Birth of the philosopher, Karl Marx (1818). . Cy Young pitches first perfect game in major league baseball (1904). eee | Visionary Mary Ann van Hoof interdicted by Roman Catholic Church (1975 1 May 06: German dirigible “‘Hindenburg”’ flames out near New York (1937). May 07: Birth of the composers, Brahms (1833) and Tchaikovsky (1840). | . U.S. Marines land in Panama (1873). — _ i German sub, Unterseeboot 20 torpodoes S.S. Lusitania (1915). | V-E Day (1945). a. May 08: Transcontinental railroad completed at Promontory Pt., Utah (1869). Vietnam whips French Imperialism after 9 years of bloody warfare (1954). May 09: Thomas Blood steals the crown jewels from Tower of London (1671).: May 10: British Parliament passes the Tea Act (1773). . | U.S. atomic sub, Triton swims around the world in 84 days (1961). May 12: Birth of Florence Nightingale, famed English nurse (1820). i Birth of Krishnamurti at Madanapalle, India, 12:30 a.m. (1895). May 13: U.S. declares war on Mexico over Texas and California (1846). a ! Three shepherd children at Fatima, Portugal see bright lights in sky (1917)... May 16: US. Attorney General, Richard Kleindienst gets jail (1974) and suspended sentence. | ee May 17: By a nose ‘‘Aristides’”’ wins the first Kentucky Derby (1875). Ss Los Angeles Police Department barbecues six Simbianese Liberation Army revol | tionaries on prime time TY, live and in color (1974). as May 18: Birth of the anarchist, Mikhail Bakunin (1814). Uprising of Paris Communards, 20,000 executed by state (1871). Mt. St. Helens gets off terrorizing Northwest U.S.A. (1980). May 19: Anne Boleyn loses head over Henry VIII (1536). Birth of the Vietnamese revolutionary, Ho Chi Minh (1890). May 20: Birth of the author, Honore de Balzac (1799). oe May 21: Charles Lindbergh flies solo and nonstop across Atlantic (1927). -.- May 23: Bonnie & Clyde Barrow, American entrepreneurs, rubbed out by G-Men (19 | May 24: Birth of Victoria (1819) longest reigning (64 years) British sovereign. = = First telegraphic message: ‘‘What hath God wrought?’’ (1844), te Birth of the songwriter, Bob Dylan (1941), May 25: American track star, Jesse Owens sets six world records (1935). May 27: Russia’s Baltic Fleet sunk by Japanese Navy (1905). _ May 28: Mathias *‘Red Baron” Rusk solos into Red Square, Moscow (1987). May 29: Tenzing Norkay and Edmond Hillary attain summit of Mt. Everest (1953)... ‘Muncy family of Welch, West Virginia receive the first U.S. Dept. of Agricult food stamps (1961). . eae May 30: MEMORIAL DAY, U.S.A. (first established 1868). May 31: _ Birth of the poet, Alexis Leger aka St. John Perse (1887). oe .