Page 4, The Herald, Wednesday, March 4, 1981

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We're off to
a flying start

Preview! .

Generally, the temptation is to await the waning
days of the old year to summarize the strange,
unusual and downright titillating antics of those
who roam. this globe.

As a change of pace, however, what is offered
here isa short indication of how a new year — 198]
— is shaping up.

So far, it has been a great beginning for apes and
burlesque queens, something less auspicious for
high-divers, and a downright bummer for ladies
who like to tinkle the iveries in the restroom.

In Borneo, an immodest malden who went for a
ude dip in a river fled screaming when an orang-
utan, 8 beast protected by law in Indonesia, swung
down from a tree and kissed her.

Io Atlanta, Ga, Willie B — 4 zoo-bound,
television-watching gorilla — was pressed into par-
licipating in the recreation of that commercial in
which an ape attacks a suitcase of specific make.
The suitcase always wins.

Willie B, however, rewrote the script by recycling
the luggage into a drinking cup, much to the em-
barrasament of the manufacturer.

Lila Stello is a burlesque queen who revels in the
nom-derunway of Chesty Morgan. A judge in
Hamilton ruled that community moral standards
were not outraged by her invitation to those present

to test the authenticity of that which she advertises

at 180 centimetres in round figures.

Alan (America) Jones, who dives into shallow

tanks from a great height for a living, had a little
_ more difficulty with his act.

Jones went to hospital fer stitches after stunning
himself and taking longer than advisable in getting
out of the tank filled with live, flesh-eating piranhas
at the Seattle boat show.

A Japanese newspaper reported — unconfirmed
— that police guarding the Pope during his Takyo
visit were standing by with steel tennis rackets dur-
ing mass, in order to volley back into the audience
any objects such as grenades that might emanate
from the congregation.

And while it was one thing for thieves to make off
with the sofa and paintings, female music students
at Stanford University waxed indignant at the loss
of the restroom piano.

They hadn't even migsed it until the pano tuner
showed up.

Apes aside, this Infant. year is shaping up a9
vintage . for strange animal _ stories.

In Duxbury, Mass., the Switzer family found a
live screech owl roasting in their Christmas tree
when they went to take it dowa in mid-January.

In Belgrade, farmer Salih Hajdur was killed by a
vengeful fox he had wounded. Somehow, the dying
animal touched off Hajdur’s rifle.

And, in Ottawa, there's a Filbert Buster on the
yotera’ list for the March 19 Ontario election.
Filbert and Buster are tvo cats accidentally
enumerated because they're Ilsted on an apart
ment-house mailbox.

Yup — 1981 is off to a flying start.

LETTERS WELCOME

The Herald welcomes its readers comments.
All letters to the editor of general public interest
will be printed. We do, however, retain the right

libel or bad tasle. We may also edit letters for
style and length. All letters to be considered for
publication must be signed.

io refuse to print lelters on grounds of possible .

_ (CAN ELECTION? OFCOURSE! AFTER THAVE OUR)

SKATES SHARPENED, GET OUR UNIFORMS DRY-
CLEANED, BRING DOWN A BUDGET, ARRANGE TO
HAVE TRUDEAU'S LEGO BROKEN AND OTHER

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ALIN 81

(— EVOLUTIONS OF MEN |

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inadecade *

PEORIA, I. (AP) — His daughters are dead
, all four. ;
oa ainst the longest string of odds, each was
murdered or killed at different timea in different
ways, Less than a decade filled the painful gap _
between the first funeral and the fourth.

Now, slaring at an old portrait, Donald Shreeves
says he can’t believe all his babies are gone. ,

“yt's like looking at 4 blank piece of paper,
Shreeves said recently. “What the hell was wrong
with us? That's what I'd like to know. Did we drink
outofthe wrong sideofthecupor what?” = .

His last daughter, Candace Lang, was buried
Thursday in a family plot in Iowa, Her husband has
been charged in her shooting death.

Shreeves fourd out about her death Feb, 22 on the
car radio, He was driving from his new Princeton,
Mo., home to Pearia to do some wark on the family
house he had put on the market.

A few months ago, Shreeves and his wife, Bea,
had given up their house here. Itheld too many bad
memories, he said. .

The radio newscaster WAS saying something
about a woman being shot to death in Schaeferville.

4] knew that's where my last living daughter,

. Candy, lived," Shreeves said, “But I quiekly
dismissed it as impossible. It couldn't be Candy. A
man simply does tat lose all four of his daughters."

Shreeves lost his first daughter, Debbie, “‘the
saint of the family,” inatiery car wreck in 1972.

Beverly died in Chicago, where she had moved in
the summer of 1977. ;

Amoainan apartment next to hers was Killedin
what police believe was an underground war.
Beverly, then 27, opened the door af her apartment
tosee what theshooting was about. The killers were
leaving the opposite apartment, saw Beverly,
pushed her back inte the room and forced her on to a
bed. They put a pillow against her head and fired
two shots into her skull. ;

Denise was two years younger than Beverly and
followed her older sister everywhere. She moved to
Chicago and tried to find out who killed Beverly.

Soon after she wrote her father that she believed
she had found Beverly's killer, Denise was
discovered dead in an elevator In Chicago. She had
been injected with enough drugs lo kill a horse, the
medical examiner said.

But the father’s tragedy did not end there. When
Shreeves went to Chicago to try and find out what
happened, he learned that his girls were not
secretaries, They were prostitutes, he said.

“T raised them since they were babies. I held
down two jobs, washed their diapers and ironed
their dresses. 1 thought ] knew them.”

So he and his wife moved to Missouri, to put itall 5

7 behind them.

Then they heard a newcaster talking about a ae

woman shot to death in Schaeferville. And Shreeves

told himself it just couldn't be.

Evennow, a week alter burying his last child, the
retired Army Corps of Engineers worker tells
himself it just couldn't have happened again. Not a
fourth time,

“This simply can't happen to people,” be said.
“Are we the only ones out of 225 million who are out
of step with everybody else?”

Gomer

GOMER, AS SHOP STEWARD
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THE PICKET LINE.

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QL.

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“PLEASE”.

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‘SA

British MP’s
position
is a mystery

OTTAWA (CP) — Canada's High Commissioner
toBritain, Jean Wadds, says it is impossible to say
at this point how many MPs might vole against the
Canadian constitutional package in the British
Parliament.

“I can't imagine that anyone can come to

a
cone ions about figures,” Wadds said today in an
erview in lon with the CTV te -
nae hiathersirer levision net:

She said British MPs have many more thin
3 at
think about at this point than how they will vateon a
Sopatitutional package that hasn't yet arrived in

Her opinion was backed up b
British Conservative MP who tas been eat
spoken critic of the constitutional package. He ssid
in an Interview that any estimate of the number of
MPs teat might vote against the package ts
specala on. But he said many are worried about the
Both had been asked about a report in a London
newspaper that as many as 350 MPs might vole
wgainet the package in the British Parliament
‘All those kind of catimates are speculation, even
more speculative until we actually see what final
form the Trudeau package comes in,” Aiken said
H Bai think it is fair to say that well over half the
louse of Commons are worrled and concerned that
they are going to be asked to do something which Is
Cectively impossible for us to do."
Feport of a Britis!
committee recommended ihe comet
package be rejected because of the strong ”
position from the provinces, Eight of 10 provine
how are opposed, P *
‘The Trudeau government says

from the government of Prim
5 e Min
Thatcher that her government wig ae reee

through Parliament the act Il quickly push
to the
North America Act to Canada clone British

ae Amer ong with amend-
ments at @ a charter of rights and an amending

it has assurances